The Pureblood's Secret
by SarahNataliaLee
Summary: He returned from school to find her elusive, weak, and wrought with fear. She has been forced to hide in shame. Now he must face the consequences of his actions and fight to protect everything he holds dear...or lose the last thing worth living for. YxZ
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: For better or worse, I have written a few vampire stories in my life. Sadly, the stroke of genius that is _Vampire Knight _is not one of them.

Prologue

"How did Kaname die?"

Kaien Cross looked up from the paperwork on his desk to where his vampire daughter, a skinny five-foot second-year (1) with thick auburn locks engulfing her tiny frame from her head to her waist, stood with her hands latched behind her back in the middle of the study. He took off his reading glasses and stared at her quizzically.

"What are you talking about, Yuuki? Your brother is alive and well. I just talked to him this morning, didn't you hear?"

Yuuki sighed, wishing her father would realize she was sixteen and no longer that gullible. "My _real _brother. The Kaname my parents gave birth to. I just found out about him. He died when I was little, right? But just his spirit. His body is still out there, holding the Kaname I know, right?"

Kaien sighed too, and put his glasses on his desk atop the scheduling for Cross Academy's first academic year since the war between the hunters and the vampires had begun. "Who told you? Was it Zero?"

"No," Yuuki said, her face turning slightly red from the lie. Kaien gazed at her knowingly, and she approached, leaning on her hands on the desktop.

"Is it possible to destroy a soul?" she asked quietly, forever unprepared to hear the answer. "To bring a complete end to a consciousness, an existence, a person—just snuff it out so it never shines again?"

Kaien Cross stared into his lap sadly, unwilling to tell his daughter of the possibility that her beloved brother was truly just…_gone. _

"Tell me what happened."

He raised his big caramel eyes to her and sat forward seriously. "To vampires, the blood and the soul are one entity, because the soul lives in the blood and you can collect both if you bleed someone dry. Kuran Rido kidnapped your brother and devoured his blood when you were only two years old. He drank every drop in his body, and replaced it with the blood of an ancestor of yours who had been dead for over four centuries—the grandfather of all vampires, the very first of your race." Kaien leaned over so his face was a mere six inches from his child's. "He did it to resurrect the most powerful vampire in existence, someone whom he could use because he, like any master vampire, had full power over his creations. But you and Kaname were able to run free when your father pushed him to the very limits of his life a couple years later, forcing him to flee so he could regenerate over the next ten years."

"What about the real Kaname? The one who was devoured?"

"I believe you freed him when you destroyed his captor, Yuuki. The man drank his soul, so it might have morphed with his as their blood would have. But when you killed Rido, you freed your brother from that miserable darkness…gave his spirit back to the Earth, where it belongs."

"So you don't think his soul is just…gone? Destroyed?"

"I don't think your soul can die, Yuuki."

Seeing through his lie, Yuuki stood in silence for a moment, gazing at Kaien sorrowfully, before whispering,

"Is it a power I have, as a pureblood? The power to destroy someone like that, to kill their soul by bleeding them dry?"

Kaien reached across the desk and rested his hand atop hers. "Yuuki, listen to me. It's not about what our abilities are; it's about how we use them. And you, darling, are nothing but pure. I don't want you to ever doubt yourself because of your vampire heritage. Now go get ready for school in the morning."

Blinking back tears, Yuuki pushed past Zero as he entered the study and hurried to her room, where she could cry in silence. The Chairman could say what he wished, but she knew the truth: her brother was gone. Not captured, not freed. Just…gone.

Yet she refused, with all her being, to believe it.

--

1. In Japan, high school consists of grades 10-12, so a second year would be a junior, or grade 11.


	2. Awakening

Disclaimer: Vampire Knight and all related characters, titles, and materials belong to Matsuri Hino. Not to me. I can not draw that well. Damn it all.

Awakening

"Zero-kun is hooooome!"

Yuuki Cross-Kuran glanced up from her calculus text just in time to see Chairman Cross glide behind her in his usual ecstatic manner. Right on cue, an insistent knock sounded from the entrance, and Yuuki's heart rose into her throat.

_He's home._

It had been a good eight months since they had last seen each other, and Yuuki's palms sweated profusely as she stood to follow her adopted father. Mingled voices floated from the front door to chime in her ears. God, this was it. Zero was finally home.

Her heart slamming against her chest, she passed through the arch into the front, and there he was, towering a good foot above the chairman, as beautiful as she remembered. He exuded his typical air of tough kindness, a heavy shell that, once broken, revealed a heart as pure as the midnight sun. Tears filled her eyes as she watched his face transform at the sight of her, and she approached him slowly, feeling her cheeks go hot as they filled with blood.

"I've missed you, Zero." _God, the pain has been awful. You don't even know…_

In truth, Zero's heart hadn't completely been at ease, either. He had started college in the summer semester, and for the whole eight months he'd been away—unable to return for even one night—every minute she had not been with him had tormented him and ripped at his heart, and now that he was finally back, he was afraid of how he would handle his love for her. He was positive the distance had only made it grow exponentially—what if it got out of hand?

Despite his fears, he gazed into her rosy brown eyes for a moment and pulled her forcefully into his arms. Her body was warm and soft, and feeling it against his made him float into the heavens. "My God, Yuuki, I missed you too."

Embarrassed and overjoyed, Yuuki slid her arms around him slowly, wondering if this tension between them was what she hoped it was.

She hadn't even realized her feelings for him until he'd left for college. She'd broken up with Kaname not because she knew the person she really loved was Zero, but because their relationship simply wasn't what it had been anymore. So much had changed since she had become a vampire and realized Kaname was her brother, and although she still loved him more dearly than her own life, she just didn't feel the attraction anymore. She had dreaded his response to the break-up; she'd known how much he loved her and how long he'd waited for her, and it killed her to see him suffer so. But she was miserable, and secretly, she knew of another young woman who would love Kaname in every way she didn't. In every way she couldn't. She'd told him, but had given no more information than that the woman was in the night class with him.

No, the awakening of her feelings for Zero had occurred in response to his leaving; to him always being by her side for five years, and then suddenly disappearing for months at a time. She had missed him so dreadfully, and had always looked at the picture of the two of them on their first day of high school, and then one day she'd kissed it without thinking first, and that was when she knew.

That was when she knew they belonged together.

They held each other close for a long time, for what may have been an eternity, had the chairman not sung out about how he had just enough tea left for them to have a late-night catch-up before they turned in.

Chairman Cross skipped off to the kitchen to start the teawater. Zero glanced at Yuuki's calculus text lying open on the old rolltop desk in the corner and smirked.

"What's the great Kuran Yuuki doing _studying_ over _winter_ _break_?" he teased.

"Shut up, Zero." He knew perfectly well finals were in January. "Come on, sit down, you must be exhausted."

He shrugged a little and sat on the couch next to her. She smiled shyly and scooted her hand across the cushion to find his. He didn't utter a word of protest, even when she laced their fingers. After a few moments he slipped his hand away, slid his arm across her shoulders, and pulled her close into his side.

"Okay! Tea is brewing!" Cross sailed into the room and plopped into the armchair across the coffee table. "So, Zero-kun, how have things been going at school? We want to hear all about it!"

Even after the war, Zero was a man of few words when it came to people other than Yuuki, and most of the conversation consisted of Cross interrogating him about college and him giving short, concise answers—or no answers at all. Yuuki ignored the "conversation," if you could call it that, instead choosing to close her eyes and drown herself in Zero's delicious scent. Blood mingled with the natural aroma of his body…she'd never gotten over that. Her eyelids didn't flutter until her tea was placed in front of her, at which point she sat up quickly and sipped the tea nervously.

The second Spanish Inquisition continued for another ten minutes, during which time Yuuki alternated between staring at Zero's profile and the sparkles on the ceiling. How had those sparkles gotten there, anyway? Were they mixed in with the plaster, or were they glued on later? And why glitter? She'd never seen it in any other building.

Yuuki was about halfway though her tea when her skin detected strained vibes from her right. Concerned, she glanced at Zero nervously. He was more rigid than an ice sculpture; his hands were trembling; she recognized the painful glint in his eyes. She knew the problem immediately, and threw the rest of her tea down her throat in one huge _gulp._

"Um, Chairman? Could you get me some more tea, please?"

Chairman Cross paused for a moment, glanced down at his cup. "That was the last tea bag," he said. "I could run down to the store real fast—"

"Oh, n-no—" Yuuki stammered, "That's really okay!" She would find another way to do this, to get a moment alone with Zero…

"Oh, no, this is one of Zero-kun's few times back! We should make the most of it—I'll go get some more tea." He leapt off the couch, shrugged on his coat, and dashed—"Be back sooooon!"—into the cold February evening.

Yuuki glanced at Zero nervously. "Do you…do you want to do it upstairs?"

Zero started. "What?"

"Come on, Zero, don't play with me. I know that you need it, and I want to give it to you."

Zero looked at his fists, clenched tightly on his knees. He really didn't want to do this.

"_You_ need a friend who doesn't attack you every time he feels a little bloodlust," he growled.

"What I need is a friend who isn't suffering for me," Yuuki snapped, reaching over to take his hand. "Let's go. We should seek some privacy because he could be home before we're finished."

Zero sighed and stood with her. She led him upstairs and into the guest room where Zero was to stay. She pulled her hesitant friend onto the bed with her and let him take her into his arms. But instead of lowering his mouth to her neck, he held her hands gently, his thumbs massaging her palms.

"Are you sure about this, Yuuki?" Since his union with Ichiru before the war, Zero's bloodlust never spun out of control, and he could easily manage his drinking. This was something he could leave up to Yuuki now; no longer was it a life-or-death situation for him. Not unless he starved himself for too long.

"Y-yes, Zero. I _like_ it when you drink my blood. It's…it's…" _Stimulating. Tantalizing. Astounding. _To feel her blood drawn into his mouth. To know she was becoming a part of him. A union. Perhaps the most beautiful union in the history of humanity.

Except for that one other thing…

She gasped as he put his lips to her throat. A singe of fear shot through her system; it had been so long since they had done this. What if the pain was worse than she remembered?

She almost let out a whimper, but Zero's soft, warm tongue slid gently over her skin, silencing her and forcing her body to convulse in an erotic shiver. With a tiny gasp at the slight sting of his fangs sinking into her flesh, she relaxed and let the soothing tingles wash through her body as he began to draw blood from her throat. As he fed more and more, a small thirst pricked the back of her throat, and it grew and grew until she could no longer tolerate it; the heat of his pulse radiating from his skin tortured her, and he gasped in pain as she bit into his neck a bit too hard.

Horrified that she'd hurt him, she forced her throbbing mouth away from the delicious fluid. "Oh Zero! I'm sorry…"

_Of course, _he thought. _How could I forget she needs blood too?_

"No, it's fine," he groaned. "Go ahead."

The feeling of her lips on his throat tormented his lust; letting rationality flee his mind, he drew his mouth from her neck, slowly pushed her down onto the bed, and let her wrap her arms tightly around his midsection. Could it be that she harbored the same secret feelings for him as he did her? He had felt strongly about her for six years now, and not knowing her feelings for him had slowly been pushing him toward the edge of his emotional ship's deck. In a last-ditch attempt to keep from crashing into an ocean of torment, he found her mouth and vigorously sought the truth.

For a moment, Yuuki was rigid, but the shock quickly passed and his passionate kiss made her body fall limp, give all control over to the man she loved more than anything in the world. All of her muscles liquefied and her eyes slid closed as his forceful yet kind lips touched her mouth and her cheeks and her jaw, her neck and her collarbone and the hollow of her throat. It was something he had been wanting to do since he'd met her, take her in his arms and cover her innocent body with love and make her his and only his, so that they belonged to no one but each other…

And now she was kissing him back. Her lips folded to match the steady dance of his, and his heart skipped a beat once, twice, three times.

_Yuuki loved him too._

As his lips returned to the bite on her neck, his hands slipped under her shirt and caressed the tender skin on her back. Having lost herself, she managed to force her hand between their bodies and undo the first two buttons on her blouse, hoping against hope he would take the hint and follow up.

And, realizing with a jolt what she wanted and how much he wanted it too, he did. He slipped her shirt off and touched her affectionately, and God, she was by far the most beautiful thing in his world. He no longer knew what he was doing, and he no longer needed to—all he knew was a love pent up far too long exploding between them, and all the words that had wanted to be said, that had needed to be said over the years, finally coming out in the most passionate act that could happen between two people.

It wasn't like a one-night thing; although they'd never truly professed, they had been passionately and irrevocably in love for seven years—the moment they'd met, they were destined to each other. This was only a natural step, a footfall in a relationship that had grown monumentally intense as they'd confided secrets, shared blood, and protected each other at self-expense. Still, never in a million years would he have guessed that this is how it would all come together—and neither would she.

"Yuuki…" he whispered as he licked the blood trailing over her collarbone.

"Oh, Zero…" she sighed. _Every line has been blurred. Nothing makes sense anymore._

_Nothing but this._

The act itself wasn't something either of them really thought about; they just knew it was happening and that it felt so good, so right. Savoring every moment and grabbing desperately for more, they made it last until it couldn't possibly live any longer. And in the end, when it was all over and everything had calmed down, she, no longer the young virgin for whom he had so desperately pined, fell asleep in his arms, and the two of them spent the night enjoying the short time they had to each other.

--

Yaaay YuukixZero makes my heart soar.

So there's chapter one. This fic won't be short, but it isn't going to be unbearably long, either, because I don't want to risk abandoning it for other stories I'm working on. Hope you liked it ;) I'll try to get a new chapter up at least every week, and more frequently, if I can.


	3. Consequence

Consequence

Yuuki pulled the tight pink shirt over her head and flipped back the short auburn hair she had just cropped around her shoulders. _A little tribute to my human self, _she'd thought with a sardonic giggle. With the shirt on and the black knee-length leggings hugging her thighs, she reached for the large green kimono she'd bought in town a month before. It was all she wore anymore, because she _had _to keep this a secret for as long as possible. She was lucky her uniform was able to disguise it until the end of the school year. She couldn't bear to imagine their faces when they all found out.

Chairman Cross. Yori. And especially…Kaname. They hadn't had any kind of a sexual relationship in over two years, but she could not bear the thought of him finding out what had happened between her and Zero. Not now. Not ever. It was private, something she'd wanted to keep between the two of them, and she could not think how much it would hurt Kaname to know his betrothed had chosen the one he hated over him. Even though they'd "broken up" after the war with Rido, even though he was the first true vampire, and even though he had been a jerk in the past, he was still her brother (or, at least, the harbor for her brother's body), still the man who had saved her life, and still the overall good soul he had always been. He didn't deserve this, and she was terrified of what this would do to him when he eventually found out.

Still, someone was going to know the truth today. Someone vitally important, someone who had the right to know a long time ago.

Zero was coming home from his spring semester and was expected to arrive by noon. That was two hours away.

Two hours to prepare to break the news to him. Yuuki wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. Poor Zero. She felt so guilty, like she had betrayed him. He had trusted her, given himself fully to her, and this was how she thanked him...God, she was such a wretched human being. Vampire. Whatever.

Overwhelmed, she flopped back onto her still-childish bed and closed her eyes tightly. All she wanted right now was to sleep.

--

Earlier that day Yuuki had had to do an emergency grocery shopping while Kaname was paying his biweekly visit. Kaname had insisted on coming along, as he only got to see her twice a month.

"Why do you wear that kimono so much?" Kaname drilled as they strolled down the cereal aisle. "The Chairman told me you wear it every day. Especially now that the weather's warm, don't you want to wear something light?"

Yuuki shrugged, hoping her illusionary immersion in the different kinds of cereal would excuse her vague response. If it didn't work and Kaname wished to inquire further, he didn't get the opportunity because—

"Look out, Yuuki!" He grabbed the handle of the cart and tried to steer them left, but they were too close already and the far right corner smashed into that of another basket.

"Oh!" Yuuki felt her cheeks turning red. "I'm really sorry!"

"No problem, Miss," the user of the other cart replied, giving a warm smile whose effect was diminished by his icy blue eyes. "_Konnichi wa, _Kuran Kaname-san."

Surprised, Yuuki glanced at her brother, who returned the man's greeting with a simple bow. "Nagano Masa-san. It's been a while."

"I hope all is well with your family, Kuran…is this a cousin of yours?"

"She's a…friend," Kaname replied, squeezing Yuuki's hand. "A human friend."

"Human? And she isn't scared of you?"

"Hardly. Even as a little child, she attached to me like a barnacle."

"Ah. She looks so much like you I could almost say you were siblings." Nagano Masa smiled and bowed slightly. "Good day, Kuran-san." He grabbed his cart and steered past them the opposite way down the aisle, flashing Yuuki a smile as he passed. She could feel the Arctic chill in his eyes prick its way through her flesh.

She looked up at her brother. "Kaname? Who was that?"

"An old friend of the Chairman's. He used to come by a lot when you were smaller. His brother works for the Hunter's Association—they met through there."

"Why did you tell him I was a human? And not your sister?"

"Shall we call it…instinct?" Kaname smiled that knowing, deeply mysterious smile and set her and the cart in motion.

--

"Yuuuuuuuki-chan! Zero-kun is here!"

Yuuki's eyes snapped open. She'd gone back to sleep? And slept away the last two hours she'd had to prepare herself? Oh, _shit. Shit! _Zero was here now, and now she had to tell him? Could she put it off any longer? Damn it!

She sat up and rubbed at her tired eyes. Okay, she could do this. She could.

No, wait, she couldn't.

But she had to.

"Ugh," she groaned, fighting the weight of her body as she stood and watched the room spin. Stood up too fast, _again. _Her dizzy spells had been happening more and more recently, sometimes without such provocation. When her head stopped swimming and she opened her eyes, a tall, silver-haired boy was standing in her doorway, staring at her with his big lavender eyes.

"Zero…" she breathed.

"Yuuki-chan..." Overwhelmed, Zero pulled Yuuki into his eager arms, and held her for a good ten seconds before his brain registered the abnormal pressure he felt against his torso. Startled, he pulled away and stared at her abdomen a moment, then forced his hands through the slit in her kimono, shoved tight fabric upward, and ran them over the smooth skin of her swollen belly.

"Could you…leave us for just a minute?" he said to the chairman, who had followed him up and failed to notice the predicament because he was gazing at a picture on Yuuki's wall.

"Eh? Uh, sure." Cross stepped gracefully out of the room and swept down the hall, humming a tune neither of his "children" had ever heard.

Yuuki's face flushed beet red when Zero turned his eyes back to her. "Z-Zero, I…I…"

"I thought you broke it off with him," Zero said bitterly, his reckless mind subconsciously denying, perhaps even hoping against, the truth. All he could think about was the bile rising into his mouth; the insecurities he still had about that…that _pureblood…_even though Yuuki hadn't shown any interest in him in over two years.

Yuuki shook her head quickly and placed a cool, soft hand over the hand of his that still rested lightly on her belly. "Zero, no. You're the only one I've ever…it wasn't even, I mean, I never—"

Zero's eyes widened in utter disbelief as the truth slowly began to sink through his skin.

"Then this…is…"

"Yours. This baby, it-it isn't his—it's ours."

He stared into her eyes wonderingly, still only half-believing the truth that seemed so obvious now. My God, he was so _stupid_!

"I-I-I'm s-so sorry, Z-Zero…" Yuuki was already beginning to sob. He shoved away from her and hurried outside and through the kitchen toward the back porch.

"Zero-kun!" Chairman Cross protested as Zero shot past. He ignored him. Out the door, down the steps, across the yard, to the gazebo by the tree-lined walkway that led to the school. Zero sat on the steps of the gazebo in the backyard, watching the wind blow the grass at his feet and listening to the soothing trickle of the waterfall in the pool. Thoughts raced through his mind a mile a minute, each more potent than the next…

_I did this. I got her _pregnant. _Why did it all happen so fast? Why did I _let _it happen so fast? Why didn't I tell her earlier, why did it all have to come up to that one moment, and why, why, _why _did I let it get so out-of-hand? _

This was his fault. All his fault. A child. A _child. _Zero wasn't sure if he ever wanted a child, and here was Yuuki, the secret love of his life, bearing their firstborn only months after they'd finally confessed their feelings to each other. So what was he going to do? It was far too late to abort the pregnancy; at this point, he would never let her go through with that. Images of his parents, lying dead in their own pools of blood, and Ichiru, gasping on the floor of Zero's cell as the life drained from his body, bombarded his mind ruthlessly. No. He would _never _let Yuuki do such a thing. Not five months into her pregnancy.

Could they give it up for adoption? Would Yuuki even _want _to? And, even more importantly, how on Earth would a vampire child be adopted? He wasn't sure if there was such a service within the vampire community, and he sure as hell couldn't let some ignorant _humans _unwittingly bring a life-sucker into their home. It wasn't safe for them, and it wasn't safe for the child.

So what choice did he have? He could stay, or he could run. And running was out of the question; it had been ever since Yuuki had stopped him the night he'd first sunk his fangs into her throat. He and Yuuki were tied by an unbreakable bond; he could not leave her side.

"Zero."

His head jerked around at the high-pitched, feminine voice he knew so very well. Yuuki stood on the other side of the gazebo, halfway up the steps. She had taken the kimono off in the heat and was now standing in just a tight pink shirt and black leggings. Zero stood silently and gazed at her, waiting for words to come.

"Zero-san, I—" Yuuki fell silent and clutched at the hem of her kimono, which hung heavily off her right arm. They were both lost; words had failed him back at her apartment, and now they were failing her as well. "I-I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Tears spilled from her eyes, sliding gently down her delicate cheeks.

Zero stared incredulously at what the two of them had unintentionally created that cold winter night. Her body was so curvy, so perfect, and he closed his eyes for a moment, trying to fight back the bloodlust that was throbbing at the back of his throat. When he opened them, he saw nothing bad before his eyes. He saw Yuuki, _his _Yuuki, standing sadly a mere ten feet from him, her hair hanging in ribbons around her face, her belly swollen with the fruit of their pent-up love. The setting sun lit up her tiny, sorrowful face, and her stream of tears (which had now become a steady river) tore open his heart. Finally, he closed the space between them and pulled her into his arms.

"I love you," he whispered into her hair, speaking for the first time the three delicate words that should have been said so long ago. "Don't cry, Yuuki. This isn't your fault. It's mine. I should have had more self-control."

Yuuki stood on tip-toe and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Nothing is your fault," she whispered as the tips of her lips lightly brushed his. It was their first tender, stand-alone kiss, a kiss without lust or blood. Just a kiss, a gentle, humane touch. Her tongue grazed his upper lip and she pulled his head down to her shoulder and rested her cheek gently on his.

Zero shuddered slightly as she wove her gentle fingers through his silvery hair and nestled her head into his neck. She was teasing him like a child, tempting him to the point of madness with the lust she was creating. Letting it hang in midair like an electric pendulum, ready to explode at any moment.

"Do you want my blood?" she whispered against his neck.

He shook his head as best he could against the gentle curve of her throat. "I'm fine, Yuuki." Even though being so close to her blood was driving him insane.

She was silent for a moment, tickled his scalp running her fingers through the long silvery strands. "I love you so much, Zero."

And, God, how he loved her back.

----------------------

I love Zero. He is adorable.

So if he ever seems out of character, would someone please tell me asap? Zero is by far my favorite character, mainly because he's so hard and mysterious on the outside but so gentle and loving on the inside (but also because he's incredibly hot :P). Since this story is 99% 35% fluff, he's going to be a lot softer that usual because he gets soft when Yuuki gets emotional and, like a proper pregnant gal, she's emotional A LOT in this story. So if he does anything that seems off, PLEASE TELL ME thanks. 


	4. Truth

Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino. I so admire her.

Truth

"I can't believe it! I'm gonna be a GRANDFATHER!"

_Maybe if I were thirty_, Yuuki thought. _But I'm just barely eighteen, so he'll probably take this one a bit more seriously. _She chewed on her thumbnail, peeking around the corner of the hall to where Chairman Cross was studying a cookbook in the living room. She had taken off her kimono, leaving her body to shine in its full, five-month-pregnant glory.

A strong, firm hand slid over her abdomen. "You can do it, Yuuki," Zero whispered in her ear. "He thinks I'm his child too. You won't take any more heat than I will."

"It's not that I think he'd be mad—"

_The Chairman, mad, _Zero snorted to himself.

"—it's just that…it's embarrassing. This is something that was supposed to stay between us."

"You shouldn't be ashamed of your child, Yuuki."

Yuuki laced her fingers with his and squeezed tightly. "Then you shouldn't be ashamed of yourself."

Zero stood still. He didn't have an answer to that.

"Is someone back there?" Cross called delicately.

"Come on," Zero sighed. "It's time."

Yuuki squeezed her eyes shut, squeezed his hand. Squeezed a tear from the corner of her eye.

"How about I talk to him first?"

Before Yuuki could protest, he was in the living room in one stride. "Chairman—"

"Zero-kun! Where have you been all day? Is Yuuki with you?"

Heavy sigh. Completely ignoring of the question. "Chairman, we need to talk. You and me. And Yuuki."

"Oh?" Cross's face fell serious. "What is it?"

Zero glanced back to Yuuki. _Come on,_ was the message she received from his eyes. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she stepped into the open. Didn't open her eyes until she felt Zero's hand securely laced with hers.

She seriously hoped the Chairman's eyes were still attached to his skull, because they were fixing to pop right out. He opened and closed his mouth for a moment, clearly shocked beyond words. Finally, he whispered,

"With whom?"

Yuuki dropped her eyes, rose them to meet Zero's. "It's all right, Yuuki," he whispered.

"Yuuki…" Cross stammered. "…with…with…Zero-kun?"

She felt her lower lip tremble, and the waterworks began again. She fell against Zero's chest and heaved heavy sobs, ashamed of everything she had become. Zero wove his fingers through her hair and whispered to her to calm down.

"Zero…" her voice leaked out. She attached to his jacket with a death-grip. Folds of fabric squeezed between her fingers.

"Yuuki." The Chairman's voice was quiet, soothing. She felt a gentle, fatherly hand on her shoulder. "It's okay. I understand."

It was only at those last two words that Yuuki dared lift her head from Zero's breast. She still clung to him like a vice, but turned to stare into her adoptive father's eyes. They were empathetic, his face dragged down with pity and love for his only daughter. Yuuki slowly loosened her grip on her lover as her father reached out to her. She sort of stumbled from Zero's arms to the Chairman's, and he placed his hand over the crown of her head like she was a tiny child.

"Could you go make her some tea, Zero-kun? Green."

Zero curtly lowered his head in accord and, in his graceful, vampiric manner, swept from the room. Yuuki needed to be alone with the Chairman, he understood that. Cross was much more her father than he had ever been Zero's.

"Yuuki," Cross soothed, wiping a tear from Yuuki's cheek. "I'm not mad at you. I understand your love for that boy, and his love for you. I sort of knew about it all along."

Yuuki glanced up, startled because she hadn't known about it herself until about a year before. How could Cross Kaien have known before she herself?

"How?" she asked, drained.

He laid his hands on either of her shoulders and pushed her away from him so he could get a good look at her face. "It was always in you. The way you cared for him and vowed to protect him. The way you let him drink your blood so he wouldn't be sick, regardless of the cost to yourself. I know love when I see it, Yuuki-doll. I've been there so many times before."

Yuuki gave a watery nod. "I'll…be right back, Cha—Dad." She turned numbly and headed into the kitchen where Zero was preparing a teabag as he waited for the water to boil. She slipped her arms around his abdomen and pressed herself tightly against him. Zero closed his eyes, trying not to enjoy the feeling of her enlarged belly and breasts pushing strongly against his back too much.

"Yuuki…" He placed a large, work-hardened hand over her tiny, feminine one. "What is it?"

"Oh, Zero, I just…I love you more than anything I've ever known."

He was silent a moment before he turned and lowered his lips to hers in a gentle kiss. _God, Yuuki, _he thought. _I thought I'd never hear you say those words._

He remembered the night he had met her, how she had been so concerned as she'd brought him up to the bathroom, how terrified she'd looked when she'd seen the mass of blood from Shizuka's bite staining his neck and shoulder, and how gently she'd held him as she'd used a soft cloth to rub the blood away. At the time, he had been too miserable to say or do anything or even to think of the beautiful eleven-year-old girl who was, in a single moment of compassion, anything but a stranger.

Remembering her love and concern that had so quickly turned them from strangers to family, Zero let a single tear fall from his eye as he clutched his darling lover to his chest. This was his girl. This was his soul mate. And, by God, he was never, _ever _letting that go. _Ever._

"Zero—" Yuuki gasped. "Zero, I can't—breathe…"

Reluctantly, he opened his eyes and slowly released his stranglehold on his darling Yuuki. She stared at him fir a long moment, her eyes all concern and pity, and he stood up straight and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine, Yuuki," he assuaged. "Don't worry about me."

Their reverie was interrupted by the loud whistle of the tea kettle, and Zero swept past her to take it off the burner. Numb, she reached up to touch her fingers gently to her lips, where Zero had kissed her moments before. _What an extraordinary person, _she thought. _So hard and cold on the outside, and so pure and gentle on the inside. So loving on the inside._

When they returned to the living room with the tea, Cross' face had transformed to its usual eccentric joy. "So this means…I'M GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!"

Yuuki let her forehead slap into her palm. _Typical, _she thought.


	5. Consideration

Disclaimer: Vampire Knight is not my creation. But this subplot is. Mwahahahahahaha!

Consideration

Cross Academy was in northern Japan, and even summer nights tended to be cool. Zero had left the window to his room open to air out the heat of the day and was just drifting off to sleep for his first night back at Cross Academy when a loud _creeeeak _jarred him from his peaceful slumber. He turned over wearily and gazed at the delicate silhouetted form standing in his doorway.

"What is it, Yuuki?" he groaned, slightly annoyed that she'd woken him when he was finally falling asleep.

"I just…sort of…" Yuuki flushed. Why on Earth did saying this embarrass her? Was it because requesting permission made her feel like a little girl? "…wanted…to sleep with you, Zero."

Zero cocked an eyebrow. "Am I to assume you mean that in the most literal sense?"

Yuuki's cheeks flared an even deeper red. "Well, um," she stammered, "that is, um, how I meant it."

"When I slept with you before," he teased, "it was like sleeping with a freaking fish out of water."

"It was?"

"I could set my watch by it. Every eight minutes you turned over. No, wait, you _flipped _over. You got more leverage then a pole-vaulter. And you kicked me and stole my pillows and blankets and nearly rolled me off the bed."

"Oh." Yuuki's entire face turned blood red and she turned to go. "Well, I don't want you to lose your sleep, so I guess I'll just—"

"Oh, get under these covers, you little monster," he demanded, throwing back the unused side's blankets for her.

Yuuki hesitated a moment, not wanting to keep him up all night with her activity.

"_Now, _Yuuki," he growled. "Or else I'll be forced come into your room and suck your blood in your sleep. Like a _proper _vampire."

"_Proper _vampires sleep during the day," Yuuki pointed out, hesitantly approaching the bed and lying down next to Zero.

"But _I _have college during the day," he countered, pulling her into his strong arms. Yuuki sighed contentedly, the safety of his hold calming anxiety caused by the raging emotions of the day.

Zero wrapped his leg around hers and rested his left hand over her growing abdomen—the talisman of their love. His eyes closed slowly and he deeply inhaled the rosy scent of her hair. Even if she kept him up all night, he loved sleeping with her. He loved feeling her tiny body in his arms. He loved feeling like he could protect her, completely shield her from the outside world. Like he could keep her safe in her most vulnerable state. Lust burned inside of him, and, without thinking, he leaned over and slowly dragged his tongue along the curve of her neck. Her skin tasted salty and sweet at the same time, and he nibbled her ear gently, careful not to prick her skin with his razor fangs.

"Zero, you're not hungry, are you?" she asked concernedly.

"No." _That wasn't out of hunger for your blood, _he thought bleakly. _It was out of a different kind of hunger._

A hunger that had left an eighteen-year-old girl with a huge, HUGE problem.

And he still wanted more of it. More of her.

"Yuuki," he whispered.

"Yes, Zero?" she replied in a mouselike voice, enjoying his warm breath tickling her ear.

"I can't leave you now. There is no way I can leave you alone with our baby. Are you still planning to start at the local university this fall?"

"I think so. Although I may start in the spring because it's due in October and it's going to be impossible to keep up my studies with a brand-new baby. I may even take this year off. I just don't know yet."

"I'll transfer this fall. And we can take care of it together."

Yuuki's eyes widened in shock. "But you love University of Tokyo! You worked your ass off to get in. Why on earth would you give that up to go to this school for failures?"

"I don't mind, Yuuki. In fact, I _want _to. This last year has been harder than I thought it would. Do you know how much I went through every day I wasn't with you?" _And wondering if you were sneaking off with that pureblood again. _Zero thought better of voicing this part, but Yuuki must have heard it anyway, because she whispered,

"Dry up, Zero. It's over between Kaname and me. In fact, there was never much of anything to begin with. It was all words, no love. 'We're together. I guess maybe I should kiss him now.' It wasn't full, and it wasn't real. It wasn't what I have with you." It occurred to Yuuki that she and Zero had never really proclaimed themselves boyfriend and girlfriend. It had just sort of proclaimed itself. And maybe, Yuuki pondered, relationships were best that way.

"I think I should transfer. You can't possibly raise it by yourself, and I can't possibly live another day without you."

God, why was he always so stubborn? "Okay, but please think about it some more, Zero. Tokyo was important to you. I don't want you to throw it all away on me."

"Fine," Zero grumbled, lying to appease her. His mind was made up. He was never again leaving her side. And he was never leaving the side of his child, either.

--

At around two AM, Zero woke, feeling a deep tension nagging at his back. Turning over, he saw Yuuki's eyes staring fervently at him, the blood red glowing intensely beneath her irises. Alarmed, he flipped over to face her.

"God, Yuuki, you're parched!" _What the hell is she dehydrated in the middle of the night for? _he wondered savagely.

"Zero," she panted. "I…can't…breathe…" The red glow pulsed in her eyes as she gasped. Horrorstruck, he bolted up, reached for her arm, yanked her into him, and cupped the crown of her head in his hand, forcing her mouth against his neck. Her sharp fangs pierced his throat before the momentum from his push was even gone from her head. Zero cringed, but, in his usual manner of masculine pride, refused to cry out in anguish. Each excruciating suck sent daggers of pain through his body and he clenched his fists, doing all he could to bear it. What the hell was going on? This was so un-Yuuki-like. They'd shared blood a lot after defeating Rido, and Yuuki had always been gentle, tender—she enjoyed piercing his skin softly and then teasing her thirst by licking the blood up as it flowed from the wound. Bringing him as little pain and as much pleasure as possible. But tonight she was biting with as much force as her tiny jaw could manage, sucking as strongly as her lungs would allow. It was like she had no mercy—all spirit and rationality had fled like rabid ghosts, leaving her just the monster of her bloodlust. Her fingernails clawed desperately at his back, leaving long, stinging scratches in his skin.

He gritted his teeth against her assault. _It's fine. I deserve this. I did the exact same thing to her. _Yuuki clenched her legs around his as she drank. Yanked at his hair so hard a few weak strands ripped out. _But why on Earth is she so desperate?_

After a few minutes, Zero's head began to swim and his vision blurred.

"Yuuki…stop now…" he gasped. He was shocked at how little breath he had left. She clutched at his back ever harder, and the room tilted around them.

"Yuuki…please…I can't…see…"

Her knee dug into his leg. Her fangs ripped even deeper into the punctures.

"Goddamn it, Yuuki, STOP IT!" He held her silky pajamas in a death grip and yanked her off him. She sat upright, her arms supporting her on the mattress. Blood stained her beautiful lips bright crimson and trickled slowly down her chin and over the contour of her jaw. The red-hot intensity of her eyes pulsed another moment, then slowly began to wane. She dragged her hand across her mouth and greedily licked all the fluid away. Zero fell back on his pillow, panting, the force of his shout having left him gasping for even the tiniest hint of oxygen.

As the last trace of lust disappeared from Yuuki's eyes, and her soul broke as she realized what she'd done to her love. Strands of his long silver hair were still clutched tightly in her hand. Blood flowed liberally from the deep wound in his throat. "Oh, no, Zero," she whimpered. "Oh, I swear to God, I didn't mean to…"

"It's…okay…" He wheezed and clutched at the sheets.

"No, it's not…oh, my poor Zero, I'm so sorry. Here, you can replace it…." She held out her wrist, but, ignoring the hellish thirst burning in the back of his throat, Zero pushed it away. The sheer despair of the incident screamed she needed it more than he.

"Go back…to sleep…" he breathed. "I'll take some blood tablets." His stomach lurched against the dizziness as he sat up.

"But—"

"Shut up, Yuuki," he spat.

Hurt shot through Yuuki's heart. _He's mad at me. Oh God, he's mad at me. He's mad that I took so much from him. He probably hates me now. I am shit. _

Ignoring the violent spinning in his head as he stood, Zero got out of bed and limped off to the bathroom, where he'd stashed his blood tablets with hers. Yuuki buried her face in her arms and wept.

Yet she was wrong. Zero wasn't mad—he was _terrified_. What in Heaven's name was happening to his Yuuki? He ran a sweat-soaked hand through his raggedy hair and wrenched open the mirror above the sink. His tablets were in an old painkillers bottle on the top shelf.

The thirst began to subside as he threw a group of pills in his mouth—without so much as letting them marinate in a glass of water first—and gulped them down. As he waited for his strength to return, he stared into the mirror at his own frazzled expression.

His hair hung in matted tangles around his face, and the tips of a few locks were crimson wet. A lot of blood had streaked over his shoulders and was now running over his abdomen. River by river, he drew the blood onto a tongue depressor and licked it hungrily off the stick. A basket of old rags sat on the top shelf of the bathroom closet, and he grabbed one and held it to the wound and returned to their room to comfort the sobbing girl.But nothing could quell the fear in his own heart. That just wasn't his lover he'd seen back there.

Something was desperately wrong with Yuuki.

--

I love them, I love them, I love them.


	6. Blood

Disclaimer: I'll give you one of those silly standardized test problems. I'm still not Matsuri Hino. Matsuri Hino still owns Vampire Knight. Therefore?...Answer: I still do not own Vampire Knight.

Blood

As soon as Zero returned to the room, he grabbed the weeping Yuuki by the shoulders and drilled holes in her eyes with his stare. "What's going on, Yuuki?" His angry, demanding voice only made Yuuki cry harder. "Come on, tell me! Has this happened before?"

Yuuki hiccupped her pain. "I-I-I—oh, _God!_" she sobbed.

Exasperated, Zero bared his fangs and let his nails dig into her shoulders. "I'm not _fucking_ playing around! Tell me! _Now_!"

Yuuki's eyes grew wide, her face still with shock and fear, and then her blubbering returned with a vengeance. She fell from Zero's grasp onto the bed and lay on her side, her whole body shaking.

Shit. He'd screwed up _again. _He rested his forehead in his palm and watched floaters dance behind his closed eyelids. "Jesus," he muttered. Trying to calm his fright, he reached over and took Yuuki's hand in his.

"I'm sorry, Yuuki," he whispered. "I didn't mean to yell. But I'm worried! I need to know what's going on, _now_."

Even as he slowly pulled her back into a sitting position and lovingly brushed a lock of hair from her eyes, she sniveled and whimpered and seemed completely beyond control.

"Christ, Yuuki, please don't cry so much," Zero begged, licking the salty tears from her cheeks and eyelids. "It's really distressing to hear you carry on like this."

"Y-you h-h-hate me, don't you?" she bawled instead. "Y-y-you hate me f-for t-taking s-so much blood from you. And you hate me for getting pregnant and ruining your life."

Not this. Please, not this. He didn't have the patience for her petty insecurities. Not here, not now. He released an exasperated sigh and kissed her gently, silencing her tears for the tiniest thread of a second. "Yuuki. If you think, after all we've been through together, I could ever hate you, you've lost the very last shred of your sanity. So please. Stop whimpering and talk to me."

"I'm s-so ash-sh-shamed. I c-completely l-lost control and I-I-I hurt you."

"That doesn't matter now! What matters is _why_ you lost control!"

Yuuki sniveled for a few more minutes, finally ending it with a deep, shaky breath. "It hasn't happened before. But I…I…"

"You what?"

"My thirst. It's been getting more and more intense since last winter. And the tablets don't help very much."

"The baby," Zero muttered.

"Ye"—_sniff—_"yeah." She carefully rubbed her hand over her belly. "I-I'm scared. My thirst—it wasn't too bad when it first came. I thought, you know, pregnant women get hungry more often and I'm a vampire, so it seemed natural enough but…but…" She buried her face in her hands. "I took more blood tablets, I mean _a lot _more, but the thirst always came back sooner and worse. I get attacks twice a day now, sometimes more, and the tablets aren't even satisfying it temporarily, and I'm staring to feel weak and dizzy a lot, and tonight I just…just…"

"Lost yourself." Zero closed his eyes in agony, remembering the dreadful night he'd been unable to hold off his bloodlust any longer and had sunk his hellish fangs into the throat of an innocent, fifteen-year-old Yuuki. If anyone understood how gut-wrenching it was to lose control, he did.

"What am I gonna do?" Yuuki wept. "I don't know if this is normal, and even if it is, I can't just _drink blood_ all the time…!"

"It's all right, Yuuki. You can drink my blood. I'll be okay."

Yuuki stared at him imploringly. "Do you really think that'll take care of it?"

"It should. You look a lot better now than you did earlier today."

"I feel better than I have in a long time," she murmured. Yet she wondered if Zero would be able to provide enough blood for her until she gave birth.

He reached up to stroke her cheeks, which were warm and pink with new life. Her eyes glittered with a spirit he realized he hadn't seen since Christmastime. She lifted a hand and clasped it around his outstretched arm. "I love you," she said tenderly.

Zero smiled sadly and kissed her forehead. "We'll figure it out. Just try to sleep, okay? It'll be all right."

Yuuki wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled them down to their pillows. She knew he wasn't as confident on the inside, but at the same time, she didn't care, because right now, his words were enough to put her heart at ease. "I love you, Zero," she sighed, letting her heavy eyelids fall.

Zero rubbed the back of her head gently. "I love you too."

Long after her fatigue had carried her off, he lay awake, watching her back rise and fall with her gentle breaths. Her breathing seemed a lot easier now that it had in a long time. Reaching up, he scraped the small bit of dried blood from his neck. He hoped he could give her enough. He prayed he could give her enough. He wasn't sure how he'd be able to live if anything happened, and he wasn't sure where else to get blood for her. She couldn't attack strangers, and if, eventually, he wasn't enough, how long could Chairman Cross sustain her? Would anyone else be willing to? Yori? Aidou? Or what about…

_Ugh. _He didn't want to think about it. He would look for anyone, _anyone _else, before going to _him._ The very Idea of Yuuki sharing with that man the intimacy belonging solely between her and Zero made his stomach turn over. That was _finished. _He _wanted _it to be finished. He _needed _it to be finished. He would let Yuuki due it as a last resort, but seeing it would destroy him.

Because, especially with her pregnancy, he needed to be the only man allowed to touch her.

--

After she'd been asleep for a while, Zero slipped out of the room and down the stairs, across the house and past the Chairman's closed door, through the hall to the study. Reaching to his right, he flipped a switch that illuminated floor-to-ceiling bookcases that hid every wall, except where a computer desk piled high with open books and disorderly papers sat shyly in the corner. Zero knew he would be able to find every answer under the sun online, but that was the very problem; he wanted the _right _ones. So he thought the best place to start would be the Chairman's books, since anything about vampires the Chairman actually kept was likely accurate.

It didn't take him half a second to find the right section—books on vampires took up the entire east wall. He approached slowly, at a loss for where to start. There were at least five ten-volume encyclopedias devoted entirely to vampires and folklore, as well as many books separating fact from fiction, a few about science and sociology, and at least thirty devoted to vampires in history. Zero thought a book on vampire anatomy and biology was the best place to start, so, standing on tip-toe to reach the top shelf, he yanked a few likely candidates out and sat in a leather chair in the center of the room to begin is search.

--

Yuuki could feel the blinding rays of the morning sun burn on her retinas before she even woke. "Uh," she groaned in pain, shielding her eyes with a hand. Merciless rays streamed in through the open window, and birds chirped a little too happily in the sakura trees outside. She turned over to hug Zero.

"Good morning," she whispered sleepily.

"Yuuki," he said, clasping her hand between his.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to know why the blood tablets aren't working?"

She frowned in confusion. "You know?"

"It was in one of the Chairman's books," he answered. "There was an entire section on vampire reproduction."

"So? What did you find?"

Zero squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, trying to erase the disturbing images from his mind. "Well, you know that blood tablets aren't made from real blood. They're a solidified mixture with two parts. One has a chemical makeup identical to that of blood, to quench the thirst. The other causes the bone marrow to produce more red cells. But…" He turned his head and their eyes locked. "What's so satisfying about real blood is it has _life _in it. There is no life in the tablets, and there never was. And right now, you _need _the life for our baby. If you don't drink blood, it'll just keep getting worse. No one has survived a pregnancy solely on blood tablets."

Yuuki's eyes widened in terror, but Zero pressed onward. He needed to brand this into her brain until he was sure she wouldn't refuse his blood. "I read an awful story about a woman who didn't get enough blood for her baby, and she miscarried and bled to death, right there in the ambulance."

"Oh!" Yuuki's face grew snow white, and she clutched her stomach as if she were going to be ill.

"But Yuuki, I read that if the mother drinks blood whenever she gets thirsty, the frequency and intensity of her cravings decrease. You should be fine if you just do it when you feel the need. So here." He pulled the bandage from his throat, exposing the wound from the night before. "So you don't lose control again."

Yuuki stared for a moment, hesitant as always, but decided not to question it. She placed a hand over his chest and gently pushed him back on the bed, kissed his neck lightly, and carefully reopened the wounds.

Zero let his mind drift as the ecstasy of Yuuki's feed carried him off. He'd used the story of the miscarriage to convince her to drink his blood for the duration of her term. But he hadn't given her the details. He hadn't told her that the young woman had lived long before blood tablets were invented. He hadn't told her that she'd starved herself because she couldn't bring herself to take so much blood from anyone. And he hadn't told her that after the stillbirth, the blood had spurted relentlessly from her womb, rendering her unconscious before her husband could even get her into the car.

And she would never find out, because no matter what, he would never let that happen.

--

Well, that chapter was difficult. It was really hard to keep Zero in-character, I hope I did all right. : / People like Zero are always hard to write about because they are so multi-faceted. I sure hope Kaname doesn't give me this much trouble. :X

So, if it is a while before chapter six comes up, I'm sorry. School is starting tomorrow, I have to get a new novel of mine off to a publisher sooner rather than later, and I'm not really sure hot to approach this story from here on out. I know where it's going, but I don't know exactly how to _take _it there, if you know what I mean. I'll try to have it up within a week, though, two weeks tops. Ja ne!

P.S. "Breathe No More" by Evanescence is Yuuki's unofficial theme song. Look up the lyrics, but don't try to defy me. You can't do it. MWAHA!


	7. Guilt

Disclaimer: Is it true? Do I finally own Vampire Knight now? Eh, do I?

No, Sarah, you do not.

Damn it all.

Guilt

Yuuki slouched on the couch miserably, one hand over her tummy, listening to Zero persistently argue over the phone with the secretary at the nearest chapter of the Council's hospital.

"No, I'm not trying to get you to help us, we just want an ultrasound!"

"It's no good, Zero," she murmured, tenderly rubbing the area cradling her baby. "There's no fighting these people." She herself had tried to get an ultrasound back when she'd first discovered she was pregnant, but was horrified to discover all the vampire-run hospitals had been shut down by the Council of the Ancients. Now, the only vampire-friendly hospital was the one belonging to the Council itself, and they refused to assist with vampire reproduction in any manner.

"We are immortal," they had told her, "and the more of us are born, the greater the risk of humans discovering our existence, and the more the war with the hunters would worsen."

"But—"

"I'm sorry, Miss Kuran," she'd replied, "but there are no exceptions."

Yuuki hadn't tried again. But Zero wasn't so easy to convince.

"Dammit!" He slammed down the receiver and fell onto the sofa next to Yuuki. "They won't even give you the ultrasound."

"I tried to get one earlier," she whispered. "They turned me down then too. Said they never supported vampire births, and they closed down the clinics that did to control the rise in population." She raised her huge brown eyes to Zero. "The way they see it, if I die in childbirth, that's two less vampires they have to control. One less pureblood to create monsters."

"Those bastards," he swore.

"It'll be okay, love," she soothed, pulling him into her arms. "We're strong. I promise we'll be all right."

Of course, her little white lie didn't relieve his anger one bit.

--

June passed slowly and lethargically. Yuuki slept with Zero every night, more at his insistence than her own. He wanted to be right there if anything happened to her.

But he breathed a sigh of relief as the early summer months passed without a single sign of her illness. It seemed all their time together did nothing to force them apart; on the contrary, the more time they had to talk, hug, and constantly get on each other's nerves, the closer they seemed to become. Without really realizing it, they began avoiding time apart like one would avoid a great white shark.

Even if it meant Yuuki had to prepare lunch.

"I'm amazed at how much better you've gotten," Zero smirked, amused, as he watched Yuuki roll sushi without destroying the leaves or crushing the rice.

"I'm not _that _pathetic," Yuuki countered, glancing toward the headmaster, who sat reading the newspaper in the dining room. "I remember my mother being a good cook. Anyway, it's just _tekkamaki_." She wasn't even sure if she was doing it right, just rolling tuna in rice and seaweed and slicing it up. But she wasn't about to tell Zero that.

"Sure."

"You're a bastard, Zero."

"You've told me." Zero grabbed a steak knife and unwrapped a giant slice of meat the Chairman had found at the locker in town. Orange, watered-down blood leaked from the inside around the cellophane. Yuuki's mouth watered at the sight and smell, her gut clenched with the sudden thirst, and just as he was placing the first slice on a plate, she reached over and grabbed it away from him. She relished the rich taste and, albeit spoiled, texture of the fluid washing through her mouth and down her throat.

"Don't be an animal," Zero scolded as she licked the blood from her lips and chin. "It's not _that _appealing."

"Says the pregnant male," Yuuki snorted. "Okay, I won't do it again." She turned away and began counting the number of sushi rolls on the platter in front of her. Fifteen. The five more the roll in front of her would produce should total enough for the three of them.

The sight and smell of old animal blood didn't bother Zero much, because it was watery and had lacked the enticing promise of life for an indeterminable time. He cut six slices without batting an eyelash and began to cut those into smaller strips for the frying pan.

Yuuki, however, had only been able to cut two pieces from the final _tekkamaki _roll before her lust forced her eyes to flick back to where Zero was preparing the meat. Blood. Luscious, flowing blood. Seeping from the meat, onto the cutting board. Sliding down the knife, soaking into Zero's graceful hands.

"Go lie down," Zero ordered, catching her reaching for a strip on the platter. "Being around this raw meat isn't good for you. I'll finish the sushi and potatoes."

Yuuki stared at him with imploring eyes. "Can't I just have a little? I'm really, really thirsty, Zero."

Zero frowned at her. "You are? But you just drank my blood and took five tablets about four hours ago."

"I know, but that…that thing…" Yuuki tried to force a small amount of saliva down her suddenly desert-like throat.

"It's not really going to help you," Zero pointed out. "It's all watered-down, and there's no life in it. I think all it will do is make your thirst worse."

Eyes downcast, Yuuki turned to leave as Zero had ordered. She trudged upstairs and fell onto her bed with a huge sigh and closed her eyes, hoping sleep would carry the nagging thirst away.

It didn't, because she couldn't. The smell of raw meat hung heavy in her memory, tormenting her bloodlust with an angry vengeance. Desperate for a little peace, she pricked the skin on her wrist and let the blood seep into her mouth as she tried to relax.

It wasn't helping...

--

A suddenly fatigued Zero emerged from the cellar, having returned the leftover meat to the giant freezer down there. The slices for that night were safely wrapped and stashed in the refrigerator, but the kitchen still reeked of old blood. Worried for Yuuki, he threw open the kitchen window and stuck a fan on the sill to suck the rancid air out. He opened a few more windows on his way upstairs, calling to the Chairman to do the same.

Yuuki's room was cool and dark, her form lying still on the childish pink comforter. At first, Zero was quiet, wondering if she was asleep. But then he saw the giant eyes glowing blood red against the darkness, and he slipped into her room and sat next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. The slight depression of his weight on the mattress caused her body to slide against his.

"Not helping, huh?"

A loud _smack _filled the room as Yuuki drew her lips from her throbbing wrist, and Zero realized with mild shock she had been sucking her own blood. He took her hand, and she stood slowly, her legs a little wobbly from the increasing thirst. Realizing how weak she was becoming, Zero unbuttoned his shirt to expose his throat, and Yuuki locked her arms around him and gently pushed him against the wall beside her bed. Her warm lips, drenched in the cool, slippery blood, touched his neck gently. He knew how guilty she felt; the pain radiated from her body and washed over him like a wave. Wishing desperately for her safety, he rubbed her back and whispered to her gently,

"It's fine."

"I'm sorry, Zero," she muttered, and he braced against the imminent stab. A solitary tear dripped from her eyelid; she was mournful that she had to do this to him so often now. His skin gave way to her fangs and the familiar liquid that tasted like a sour, delicious fruit filled her mouth once again. The sheer pleasure feeling his blood and life inside her created turned her to a cruel, ruthless monster, and she heaved an isolated sob as the thought inundated her mind.

"It's okay, Yuuki. It's okay…" Zero couldn't seem to remember how long it had been since such a mountain of tenderness had occupied his aching heart, nor how long it had been since he'd let all anger melt to make more room for love.

As the pain of the bite faded into oblivion, he gradually relaxed while her tongue picked up the blood flowing over his collarbone. At least this sudden attack hadn't left her as rabid as had the one a month before. It seemed almost ironic to him, how she had always been giving him her blood to stave off his torturous hunger, and now, here he was, doing the same for her. He was supposed to be the monster in this relationship, but now, seeing it from her perspective, he knew there was no way he could have been a monster in her eyes, even as he'd tasted her blood. Just a desperate, innocent human, doomed to a hellish existence.

Another tear slid from Yuuki's eye, landing delicately on Zero's shoulder. "I don't deserve you," she whispered against his broken, bleeding skin. Her sentence reminded him of all the times he'd thought the same thing, all the times he _continued _to think the same thing….whenever he wallowed in the sensual, luscious taste of her life, whenever he sated his thirst by feeding on her, whenever he looked at her with hungry red eyes. She was right—she deserved someone so much better than he. And she thought he deserved someone so much better than she—did that mean they were perfect for each other?

"Yuuki…" was all he could manage to say.

"It's such a cruel existence," she whimpered.

"I know. But..."

"But?"

"…you make every hellish day worth it."

"Oh, Zero…" She began drinking again, this time sucking gently and creating a whirlwind of feeling that spun through his body like a hurricane. They slowly slid down the wall until they reached the floor, just as they had in the bathroom, so many years before, when she had first offered her blood to him. "You're wonderful…" She gripped the sides of his shirt and moved her leg between his. He could feel the intimacy of their touch escalating, just as it had the night Yuuki had conceived.

"Bullshit," he whispered, and cupped the back of her head. Her hair was cool and soothing against the rough, hot skin of his hand. She was so cruel, stealing his heart and running off with it. He didn't think he'd ever get it back from her. And as long as he had her by his side, there was no way he wanted to.

He had just undone the final button of her blouse when the doorbell rang, startling them both from their love-induced stupor. They lay frozen for a second, waiting for a call that would send them down to the door.

"Yuuki-chan!" The Chairman's voice echoed from a long way off. "Kaname-kun is here! Yuuki-chan?"

Zero swore. Yuuki groaned. "Coming." She began hastily re-buttoning her shirt.

"Wait here until I check to see how much the house has aired out," Zero muttered, gently pushing Yuuki off his lap and standing. He dropped her a light kiss on the cheek before bolting angrily out the door.

Yuuki stood up slowly, disappointed and slightly anxious. She knew relations between her brother and her boyfriend would never be peachy, but this sure didn't help _at all._

"I think it's all right," he called. "Come on down."

The smell was still pretty strong, but, she hoped, would prove tolerable. She had left her kimono draped over a chair in the kitchen. Desperate, she slipped into it, but, looking down at herself, was forced to admit it wasn't hiding her baby bump so well anymore. Anxiety slashed through her like a flaming sword. Oh, shit. This was it. Kaname was going to find out that she was carrying Zero's baby, and, God, why did Zero have to be there to witness it?

God damn it. That was the problem with pregnancy. Their intimacy, something private and beautiful that they'd shared, something that was supposed to be their secret, was officially out there for the world to see.

Zero was back to mashing up the potatoes. Yuuki glanced at him a moment, and when she turned back, realized Kaname and Chairman Cross had entered the dining room and were now staring into the kitchen at the two of them. Her wind was knocked away in one moment of panic.

Yuuki hadn't seen her brother since the end of the school year because he had been traveling Asia and eastern Europe for a couple months. Now, he seemed taller, older, more knowing, than he had the last time she'd seen him. When she saw his shock-free expression, she realized the chairs and counters were hiding her well enough that he couldn't see it. But he could see her. And his eyes were warm with love.

Oh, _God._

"Yuuki," he said, reaching a hand to her. She hesitated. Chairman Cross bit his lip. Zero tried a little too hard to keep his attention focused on the potatoes, pretending not to notice the tension around him.

"Is something wrong?" Kaname asked, concern misting his face. Squeezing her eyes shut, steadying her breath…

"Kaname…"

…trying to calm the pounding drum in her chest, Yuuki took a step to the side of the table to reveal her whole self to her former fiancée.

It didn't take Kaname too long to grasp the sight before him. He maintained his usual air of calm, although Yuuki saw a tidal wave of emotions charge through his eyes, too quickly for a human to catch: bewilderment, shock, confusion, realization, fury. A deadly fire alit in his irises as they slowly moved back to Zero, the man he knew responsible for getting his little Yuuki pregnant.

Yuuki forced back a flood of tears. She suddenly wanted nothing more than to run back to Zero and bury her face in his chest. Kaname knew now. He knew just how far they had gone together. And she couldn't bear shoving it in his face like this.

Yet what choice did she have?

"Just fixing lunch," she muttered, knowing he could see through the lie. Knowing he could smell Zero's blood linger on her breath. "You can stay, if you want."

The electricity zapping between the two young men's eyes was nearly tangible. Yuuki could feel the silent fight accelerating, so she searched quickly for a distraction.

"Um, I should get back to making the sushi. Kaname, you can, uh, have a seat there, or in the living room, if you want." She was speaking more and more rapidly. "I can make you some tea or coffee, or get you a blood tablet, or—"

"Calm down, Yuuki, it's fine. I don't need anything; I was just stopping by to say hi."

"You sure you don't want to stay for lunch, Kaname-kun?" Chairman Cross asked, the tension in the room sobering any cheer in his heart.

"No, thank you, Chairman. I just wanted to see Yuuki." Kaname opened his arms to give her a hug. Zero dropped his head as she walked over to Kaname. It _killed _him to see her in the arms of another man. And he was too angry at him and terrified of losing her to notice how irrational and uncalled for his jealously was. Deep down, he knew Yuuki didn't love Kaname anymore. And he knew that she never again would. So why on Earth was this information not processing in his emotions?

"Take care, darling." Kaname turned and stoically walked out to the entrance. Yuuki cringed as the front door slammed with unnatural force.

"Kaname-san," she whispered, and chased after him. Zero slammed down the knife and stepped forward to follow Yuuki, but the Chairman stopped him with a firm hand to his chest.

"Let her go," he commanded. "Don't be so insecure—you know she won't betray you."

Zero bit the inside of his lip.

"Have you always been this possessive, Zero-kun?" the Chairman asked quietly. "Or is it because she's carrying your child now?"

Zero dropped his eyes to the plate of sushi still sitting innocently on the counter. Sighing, he put the last roll on the plate and set it on the dining room table.

--

"Kaname-san, wait!" Yuuki's breath was coming raggedly, even though she had only run a few dozen meters from the front door. "Kaname-san!"

Kaname's rigid form stopped, although he did not turn. Yuuki struggled to catch up to him, gasping for oxygen as she slowed.

"What is it, Yuuki?" he asked in a surprisingly detached voice. Hurt, Yuuki dropped her head; Kaname had never spoken to her so stoically.

"It's just, I…Kaname, I don't want to hurt you. I swear, you weren't supposed to find out this way!"

His head turned ninety degrees so she could see his profile. One piercing red eye stared her down with a thousand daggers. "So I was supposed to find out when I came to see you and you had a baby sucking at your breast?"

"No! I mean, I was going to tell you—"

"But you didn't."

"I was going to do it in—"

"If you were going to tell me, you'd have already done it, Yuuki. Long ago."

"I'm sorry, I just…I just…I didn't want to hurt you!"

Kaname turned the rest of the way, and, for the very first time, Yuuki saw tears dance in his eyes. "And you didn't realize how much it would hurt me to find out like this? That you've carried _his _baby for over six months, and you never had the guts to tell me?"

"I was _scared _to hurt you!" she cried.

"Well now you don't need to be scared anymore." Kaname's voice dripped venom he usually reserved for those he despised. The very thought that her older brother could hate her turned her heart inside-out.

"Please don't do this, Onii-sama…"

"It just kills me, Yuuki. It was supposed to be you and me. That baby should be ours. Not his. Ours."

"I'm sorry, Kana—" she started to say, but stopped herself. Sorry for what? For loving Zero? She stiffened. So she was wrong not to tell Kaname before. Hell, she was wrong not to tell _anyone _before. And he was right, it _was _supposed to be between the two of them. But that didn't mean this baby had no right to exist. It didn't mean it wasn't _supposed _to exist. And, seriously, if Yuuki was with Zero and _not _Kaname, wasn't that was what was _supposed _to be? Because if it weren't what was supposed to be, it couldn't possibly be happening.

"I'm happy, Kaname," she finally stuttered out. "I'd hope that would mean you were happy, too."

Kaname shook his head. "Jesus, Yuuki," he sighed. "Eighteen years, a mother, and still so naïve." Turning, he strode dutifully away, and Yuuki watched him fade, cradling her baby under her hand.

--

My favorite line in here has got to be _Sorry for what? For loving Zero? _It's just too adorable for words.

So school started Wednesday. I really enjoyed Japanese class, although I think Latin will always be my "soul language," hehehe.


	8. Viva la Vida

Disclaimer: VK is still not mine. But if it were, I would make Yuuki and Zero get together. Duh.

Viva la Vida

(Long Live Life)

"The hunter and pureblood lineages have never been combined," Zero said, looking up from his coffee cup to where the Chairman sat across the kitchen table. "What will that mean for our child?"

Cross looked up from the newspaper spread before him, took a sip from his coffee and threw his long blond hair behind his head. "It's true that the genetics have never been mixed, but that's no reason for the child to be anything but a normal baby. I don't think it'll be a Down-syndrome-type thing. It'll likely be classified as a level B vampire, as it has both human and pure blood running in its veins. But I wouldn't worry about it if I were you."

"What'll happen to her?" Zero asked quietly, tracing the design on the side of his coffee cup.

The chairman looked up from the newspaper spewed out in front of him. "Yuuki?"

"No, the child."

"You think it will be a girl?"

"I hope it will." Zero hoped she'd be healthy, and she'd be beautiful and strong, like her mother.

"I'm sure she'll be fine," the Chairman replied nonchalantly. He took another sip of his coffee and looked back to the newspaper. "There's less risk to the child than in human pregnancies because, well, they're vampires."

Zero glanced up at the ceiling, toward the room Yuuki was still sound asleep in. "Is there a lot of risk to the mother?"

The Chairman sighed. "Yes, unfortunately, obviously if she bleeds a lot, she'll get sick much faster than a human would. But you don't need to worry about Yuuki; we'll take good care of her."

Zero fought the guilt already stewing in his gut. How could he ever live with himself if anything happened to her because of all this? It was he who'd started their intimacy. It was he who'd chosen to have sex with her, to take from her the innocent virginity that had made her so vulnerable, so easy to love. It was he who'd provided the seed that had left her in such a weak state. If she died, it would be his fault.

"How can you know that?" he muttered. "The Hunter's Society won't help with vampire pregnancies, and there's no way we can take her to a regular hospital. She could die right here in this house."

"We'll figure something out. Why are you suddenly so worried about this, Zero-kun?"

Zero sighed. "She's entering her eighth month," he pointed out. "We're into the hot zone. She should have been monitored since day one, and if anything happens, we'll have nowhere to take her. No way to help her. And her bloodlust...I think it's getting worse."

"Zero-kun, she's a vampire. She's not as susceptible to a lot of the complications humans are. The main problem is the bloodlust, and that's a progressive thing. The more your baby grows, the more blood it needs to keep it alive. She's been getting slowly thirstier all this time, but now she's really beginning to feel that the your blood isn't enough for her anymore."

Zero thought about how exhausted he'd been recently, how Yuuki had gone from taking just a little blood every day to pushing Zero to the limit. He remembered what had happened the night before, how Yuuki had fed from him for almost five minutes and how he'd finally had to push her off, begging her to stop. Her love for him couldn't keep her from taking all the blood she could—her need to protect their child was stronger. Their sharing had gone from erotic and tender to painful and guilt-ridden, and it was a fact that destroyed both of their souls. Zero couldn't wait for this pregnancy to be over, for her to return to normal so their lives and their love weren't in danger anymore.

"I can't provide for her anymore," Zero whispered. He forced all his anger into his fist and pounded it on the table, his vampire strength creating a crack in the wood. "I can't give her enough blood." Ashamed, he buried his face in his hands. He was a failure. A failure as a partner and a failure as a father.

The Chairman reached over and patted him on the back. "You're not a failure, Zero. Naturally, she should be out every night, feeding on everyone she can find to provide for herself. But our Yuuki would never dream of doing something like that, so she's holding it all in, trying her hardest to survive without hurting anyone. You shouldn't have to be supporting her like this. Nothing is your fault."

"What isn't Zero's fault?"

The two of them turned to see Yuuki standing in the door, that shirt of Zero's she was wearing to bed (her shift no longer fit) hanging off her tiny frame like leaves of a weeping willow. Zero stood and pulled her into his arms.

"I'm sorry, Yuuki," he whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."

Sorry for what? Yuuki wondered. Her sensitive vampire skin could feel Zero's heart beat beneath their chests to the sad song of an invisible metronome. She ground her teeth against the thirst it was causing to worsen. She couldn't bite him now. She was almost too positive he was still too weak from the night before.

Then it hit her as she felt his unusually cold skin brush against hers. She knew why Zero looked so sad, why he was holding her like she would otherwise evaporate. She had taken too much. The tablets didn't replace blood; they only helped the bone marrow create more of it. All the blood he had to give was now in her. Zero had become severely anemic; the life had been drained from him faster than his body could replace it. That was why he'd had to stop her the night before. He couldn't give any more, and he felt terrible.

"Zero, no, don't do this to yourself," she whimpered. "I can't take it."

A hand fell on her shoulder, and she her head to face the Chairman. "Don't worry yourself, Yuuki," he said. "I'll provide for you while Zero heals. You're both gonna be fine."

Yuuki's eyes leapt from her skull. To say that drinking the blood of her father would be disgusting was an understatement so huge it could have almost passed for a flat-out _lie. _Even if he was closer to her generation than to a normal birth father's, his position alone made the entire prospect mortifying. No matter how you did it, bloodsucking was a sexual act. And he was her adoptive _father._

But as the thirst ripped at her throat, forcing her closer and closer to Zero's weakened veins, she realized she, yet again, had no other choice. Pushing away from Zero, she hugged her shivering frame and squeezed her eyes shut. Didn't open them until the tantalizing aura of human pulse pounded against her lips, and she realized Chairman Cross held his wrist—sliced open so that pure red fluid seeped out—under her nose, where she couldn't possibly refuse. Torture. Pure torture.

"It's all right, Yuuki. This isn't like you and Zero. If you want, I can get a glass and—ah!"

Her nails had dug too hard into his skin as she's lunged for his arm; any reservations she'd had drowned in the turbulent sea of red, the endless world of heavenly lifeblood she was floating away through. She lapped from his wrist in despair, gripping his hand in one of hers and his forearm in the other. A few deviant drops of blood _plip-plipped _onto the wood beneath their feet. Her whole being shook violently as she sucked in the delicious life, and tears of despair flooded her eyes. More. More. _More._

"Even with Zero's blood, you still don't have enough," Chairman Cross muttered. He placed his free hand over the crown of her head. "My poor child. My darling little Yuuki."

Zero buried his face in his hands so he wouldn't have to see Yuuki fight so hard against her agony. It was just like that night a month ago. Even as she'd fed more and more on Zero, she'd been slowly losing blood to the baby, and being pulled away before she was finished the night before had tipped her over the edge. Here again was the voracity, exploding in a moment of gluttony and seemed insatiability. Turning his innocent, sweet Yuuki into a ruthless monster.

"There," the Chairman whispered as Yuuki pulled away, licking his wrist clean. "Don't you feel better?"

Yuuki stared at him with an unreadable expression, not exactly anger or fear, but not content, either. Confusion, perhaps, mixed with the bitter acceptance that she had just done something monumentally unethical to her. She noticed her father's cheeks weren't glowing with their usual roses anymore; they were chalky pale now, with just a hint of color to them. She covered her eyes guiltily, feeling criminal for robbing him of that life that was just so characteristically _him._

"I'm sorry, Chairman," she murmured.

"Don't be, Yuuki," he answered. "You aren't my kin, but you are my child. You both are." He shot Zero a look, but Zero didn't appear to be listening. He had come up behind Yuuki and pulled her back flush against him, locking his arms tightly over her chest. "I have obligations to you, too," Chairman Cross continued. "Please don't belittle that." Sighing, he grabbed his coffee and started for the door.

"Oh, and Yuuki?"

She turned her huge brown eyes his direction.

"I want you to keep your eyes open from now on. The Council reported another finding last night."

Both Yuuki and Zero's eyes widened, and when they heard the door to the Chairman's bedroom slam, she fell into a chair and put her hand to her forehead.

"I suppose it's not really a bad thing," she mumbled. "I mean, the fewer purebloods there are, the fewer humans are turned…"

"It's not the point of the Hunter's Association," Zero pointed out. "Their goal is to destroy the level E's, not those who aren't a danger to humanity."

Yuuki sighed. "We're a dying lineage," she muttered. "That's why I was supposed to marry Kaname—to keep our bloodline alive. Even our children won't do that. Eventually, there won't be any of us left, and the transformation will be history." She gazed at Zero, remembering the despair of his excruciating descent into insanity. "The sooner the better, right?"

Zero was leaning his temple on his elbow; his eyes grazed the floor and he sat up in his chair. "I want you to be careful, Yuuki. That's the fourth one, and there aren't any leads on the killer. But there is a definite pattern; if you're a pureblood, you're a target. I try my best to protect you, but I know sometimes I fail, and you end u getting hurt…" His head dropped.

"We're together, Zero," Yuuki whispered. She slid her hand across the table and let it rest atop his. "That means we protect _each_ _other_. At all costs. You're my obligation as much as I am yours. And I don't mind that a bit. You know I'm not a weak person, Zero. You know I can protect myself."

"I just couldn't live with myself if anything ever happened to you." He tried desperately not to remember the night he became a vampire. The night his demon took over and she was hurt at his own hand. There was no forgiving that.

When his eyes opened again, he was in her arms. She stood net to his chair and pulled him over so she held his head lightly against her chest. "That's why every minute I have with you means everything to me," she said. "That's why you're mine."

--

The fluff bunny has returned! Sorry for the wait. As I said, school started, and my government teacher started the year off "right" by assigning FIVE projects immediately. A lot of this I worked on during photography class. XD It's still a little rough, but I wanted to get it up, so if you see any problems or have any suggestions, tell me plzthx.

And this is completely off-story, but I'm willing to venture a guess as to the end of the manga here. Kaname is going to recognize how much Yuuki loves Zero, and he's going to realize that it is Zero, not him, who makes her truly happy, and he is going to give his life to save Zero's (or at least try to) so that Yuuki can be with him and be happy. God, wouldn't that just be the most romantic, perfect ending?? squeal And it would totally redeem Kaname in my book. Then if he lives, he can get together with Seiren or Ruka or something. Or Aidou. Because we all know Aidou is a flaming bisexual and is in love with Kaname. But who isn't in love with him? (Besides me.)

Gomen. I am a sucker for stuff like that. Ignore my ravings, por favor.


	9. Stranger

I'm sorry if this chapter is rough. It took so long to write, I just wanted to get it out there, you know? I'll probably go over it again later.

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight, but at least I know it is in good hands.

Stranger

Zero was studying a sociology text when the stranger arrived. He held the book in his right hand, his left gently stroking the soft brown hair falling over Yuuki's face. Having just fed from his throat, she was lying serenely against his side, half-asleep under his arm. He moved his hand from her hair to wipe a stray bit of blood from her lips. It was a little hard to focus on human behavior when the gentle rise and fall of Yuuki's chest against him was tempting his so.

A loud _knock _sounded from the entryway; Yuuki started and rubbed at her eye. "Nnn, what?" she mumbled as Zero threw the textbook on the coffee table.

"I dunno. Probably something for the Chairman."

"It's a little late," she said, glancing at her watch. Nine PM. Who on Earth made a house call at nine PM?

A formidable, dark-haired man whose height topped even Zero's loomed in the doorway when the young father opened it.

"You look tired, Kiryuu Zero," he observed, startling even the fearsome vampire hunter with his menace and seniority. Unnaturally red eyes glared beneath a cynical brow. "Just a long day?"

Zero was staring at one of the most intelligent, efficient hunters alive. He knew the man knew better. "You're from the Hunter's Association," he responded, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway. He had seen this man once before; he'd paid a visit to the Kiryuu household when Ichiru and Zero had been small. Yet he knew him not by name; he responded to the stranger's bow with only a slight nod of the head. Rude? The stranger seemed only amused.

"Nagano Tatsuo," he affirmed. "If you don't mind, I would like to have a word with Cross Kaien."

Zero nodded again and stepped back. "Come in." He turned, nearly running headlong into Yuuki, who had approached silently from behind.

"Hi," she said meekly, obviously affected by the man's fearsome demeanor. This was not someone to be messed with.

"Nagano Tatsuo," Zero muttered. "One of the top hunters in the Association. He is probably better than both my parents rolled into one."

"Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Kuran," Nagano said. Yuuki's eyes widened at the address—did he think she was already married to Kaname? Her hand flew to her abdomen instinctively and she found herself afraid to correct him. "I saw you once before, but you were just a tiny little thing. You've grown into quite a lovely young woman." He stepped through the doorway; his eyes scanned Yuuki head to toe. "So it's over. Your vampire form has been unmasked."

Zero stepped in front of Yuuki angrily. "That has nothing to do with you," he spat.

"Why so hostile, Kiryuu? I have no intention of hurting your friend."

Zero grabbed Yuuki's wrist in a death grip. "Wait here," he commanded solemnly, yanking Yuuki into the living room with him.

"What the—Zero—"

"I don't like the way he was talking to you," he seethed. "That man is the most efficient, cunning hunter in the Association. He only believes in killing level E's, but I'm still not comfortable leaving you alone with him."

"I can take care of myself, Zero," Yuuki pouted.

"I don't want to argue right now," Zero said, reaching the study at the top of the stairs. "Chairman Cross?"

Beaming at his adopted son's voice, Cross glanced up from a book he was studying in one of the chairs in the center of the room. "Zero-kun! What's up?"

"Nagano Tatsuo is here to see you."

Cross' face darkened. "Oh. Okay. Tell him I'll meet him in the living room. Yuuki, could you put some tea water on, please?"

Yuuki shot Zero a warning glance and stalked back downstairs. Zero shook his head and turned to the Chairman.

"What business does that man have with you?"

"Ugh. He's been trying to get me back into the Association forever. I wish he'd give it up already. Go bring him in; I'll be down right away."

The living room seemed too small to accommodate the terrifying hunter. It was as though his tall, strong frame filled up twice as much space as it actually did; he sat (rather squeamishly) in the recliner, and all three household members were squashed together on the couch. Yuuki clutched Zero's hand the entire time; attempting vainly to soothe her churning stomach.

Nagano opened the conversation with, "Long time no see, Cross."

"Nagano." Chairman Cross nodded.

"Weather's been merciful."

"So it has. Not many scorching days. We don't even need the air conditioning."

"The war must have been stressful on you. It happened right here at your school, and so many of your students were involved. In fact, I happen to know Kuran Kaname paid a little…visit to the Council of the Ancients, which increased tensions between the Senate and your school. How much longer do you think you'll be able to side with the bloodsuckers, Cross Kaien?"

Yuuki sucked an angry intake of breath. To talk about her family like that! The Chairman squeezed her shoulder to get her to calm down. Nagano turned his eyes to the girl.

"Nevertheless, I see your marriage to Kuran has gone as planned"—Nagano

smirked—"though I must say, a bit sooner than I'd imagined."

"That's not Kuran's baby," Zero snapped in Yuuki's defense. "It is mine. Yuuki just finished at Cross Academy—it would be far too soon for them to marry."

"Oh. So things have changed, have they?" Nagano smirked and shook his head. "I didn't think the Kurans would last much longer."

"You only hoped they wouldn't," Cross snapped, shocking Yuuki with his sudden, uncharacteristic fire. There was obviously a strong grudge between the hunter and the headmaster. "The Kurans are a peaceful lineage. They have no precedence for your scorn." Yuuki felt his hand descend on her shoulder. It was strong, defensive of her, and loving. She rubbed the thumb of her free hand, which was resting in its usual protective position, against her stomach.

"No need for hostility, Cross. I simply came to discuss the situation the Hunter's Association faces. Kiryuu here is still hunting Level E's, is he not?"

"He hunts them when it is necessary," the Chariman said. "He is in college now and doesn't do it so much anymore."

"The vampire who hunts his own kind," Nagano observed.

Zero stiffened. "Save it," he said.

"He is in college now," the Chairman continued. "In Tokyo. He doesn't need to work where some of your best hunters keep the vampires in check."

"He still has his duties as a hunter."

"Zero-kun really just hunted them for me; it was his parents who worked for _you._"

"You say '_you_' as if you yourself weren't once a part of us. It is the vampire situation I came to talk to you about. The need for hunters is increasing, Cross. Despite the low prevalence of purebloods, the number of Level E's seems to be increasing. And they are becoming stronger, running in groups and working with blood-born vampires so they have more power against us. No one has been able to find out where they are all coming from, although the Association is considering an underground pureblood alliance. The point, Cross, is that we need you. Both of you. This is becoming a huge problem."

The Chairman sat up straight and glared into the dark hunter's eyes. "I understand the need to rid the world of Level E's," he said. "But you know of my desire for peace between humans and vampires, and killing the blood-borns is no longer something I am willing to do. Kiryuu may be able to help you a little, if and when he returns to Tokyo. But he and Yuuki are about to have a small vampire child on their hands, and we need to focus on it so it grows up opposing the very problems you face. I'm afraid I cannot return to the Association, Nagano. Aside from it being so severely against my morals, I have to take care of my grandchild and run this school."

The hunter listened calmly the whole time, leaning his chin on his elbow, his eyes betraying no anger or malice towards his adversary. When the Chairman finished his speech, Nagano merely sat back and argued as if countering the opposition were nothing. "Think about what you're saying, Cross. You founded this school in hopes it would promote peace between predator and prey. How much is that going to help if you let a bloody war run rampant just south of here?"

"'Never doubt that a small group of citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.' Margaret Mead said that. There can be no peace of no one is willing to practice it."

"Without more hunters, this has the potential to become a full-blown war. We're almost certain a group of purebloods is behind this, not to mention the number of normal vampires involved. This is serious, Cross. More serious even than your little pureblood battle with Kuran Rido."

"It is late," Cross said after letting a moment of silence hang heavily in the air. "If you wish to fight me more, you may do so at a later time, perhaps on the phone or another location. But we need sleep, so if you please, I'll show you to the door."

Yuuki started to stand to gather the teacups, but Zero held her down. "I'll get them," he said simply. Yuuki sat back and let her eyes follow her father and Nagano Tatsuo to the entrance.

"Just think about it, Cross," Nagano insisted.

"Good-bye, Nagano." The Chairman returned to the room, plagued by fatigue and frustration.

"Who _was_ that?" Yuuki demanded.

"One of the best hunters in the Association. He's been trying to get me to rejoin them ever since I quit. He led an uprising about fifteen years ago, trying to get the Association to hunt purebloods, claiming they were the source of Level E's." The Chairman smirked. "Obviously, they lost that battle, and he's gradually come to accept the pureblood's existence. Although, you know, his feelings towards them aren't exactly what you'd call love."

A jab of fear yanked a tight knot into Yuuki's stomach. "You don't think he—"

"No, Yuuki. I highly doubt he's behind any of the killings."

"Would make sense, though, wouldn't it?" Zero scoffed, returning to the living room. "They think there's an underground alliance of purebloods who are creating level D's, and suddenly the remnants of dead purebloods are showing up all over? This could be a special assignment. There's no proof he _isn't _the killer."

"If the Association were sending hunters out to kill purebloods," the Chairman countered, "I would know, and they wouldn't leave the clothing and dust lying around for anyone to find."

Zero screwed up his face, unwilling to admit defeat. "But what if someone from the Association were doing this secretly? Isn't that a possibility?"

"Or what about one of the former hunters?" Yuuki supplied.

"That's a good point, but Nagano isn't a former hunter."

"He could still be doing it in secret."

"You need to have a little more faith in people, Zero."

"I am not putting any faith in anyone as long as my Yuuki is in danger." Zero pulled her into his side and glared heavily at their father.

The Chairman sighed. "I'm not saying protecting her isn't important. It's vital. To me as much as to you, Zero. But we have absolutely no evidence against him or anyone else. All we can do is be exceedingly careful." He walked over to Yuuki and placed a light kiss atop her head. "I don't want you going out alone anymore, okay sweetie? Especially now that it's so obvious you're pregnant. If someone is killing purebloods, I doubt he'd hesitate to kill someone about to bring more vampires into the world."

Zero took Yuuki's hand in his. "We're going to bed now," he said, not so much as a statement, but a command. Yuuki stumbled away with him, bowing her head slightly in a silent _goodnight._

"_Oyasuminasai_," the Chairman bade after them.

--

"You are a really interesting person, you know that?" Yuuki asked, lying belly-up on the bed as Zero changed into his nightclothes. "I've never seen you defend purebloods. Especially like _that._"

"I wasn't," Zero replied stubbornly.

"Were so. You used to hate purebloods with your very life. Not three years ago!"

"I'm not defending them!" Zero insisted. "Just you."

Champagne bubbles floated through Yuuki's chest. Maybe his words should have annoyed her, but all she felt was the sweetness. "Come here," she said, sitting up and inviting him into her arms.

Discarding the pajamas he'd just grabbed, Zero turned out the light and got into bed with her. She snuggled into him and he kissed her, wrapped his legs around hers, slipped his hands under her shirt. "Promise me you'll always stay," he said in a raspy voice. "Promise you'll never leave me."

She took a deep breath and let a tear fall as they began a tender lovemaking. "I promise, Zero. Always." Her eyes slipped closed and a contented sigh escaped as they became one once more.

--

Important little footnotes…

If anyone here happens to have any story ideas, I am all ears. This is moving along nicely, but so far I only have two plots (running perfectly parallel), not enough to fill in all the chapters. I need some interesting material other than bloodsucking and fluff to throw in while Yuuki's baby and the PSYCHO KILLER progress.

_Tatsuo _means "dragon man." _Nagano _is just a common Japanese surname. Heh. I guess I could have just as easily used Bob Jones, but it didn't seem as likely (or mysterious), lol.


	10. Gone

Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight. What? I can't say something cutsey every ding damn time!

Gone

_The heavy wooden door to the girls' lavatories squealed on its hinges. Yuuki wished she could lock the door to the stall she was in, but was still dry-heaving her nonexistent breakfast into the giant porcelain bowl. The door hit the side of the cubicle and Wakaba Sayori knelt beside her, laying a supportive hand on her back._

"_What's going on, Yuuki? This is the third time this week. And you're only sick in the mornings—?"_

"_It's nothing, Yori, I—"_

"_Please don't lie to me, Yuuki."_

_Yuuki wiped a threatening tear from her eye and leaned her head against the bowl. The large porcelain sucked some of the heat from her cheeks and forehead, and she sighed and closed her eyes against the truth. She didn't mention to Yori that she sometimes got sick at night, too._

"_Yori, I think…I think…"_

"_What?"_

"_I think I…"_

"_What? You think you what?"_

_A tear fell from Yuuki's eye, splashing onto the dirtied green tile at her feet. An isolated sob forced itself over her chest. "I think I might…be pregnant."_

"Pregnant?_ I thought you were a virgin!"_

_Yuuki shook her head against the bowl. Her huge brown eyes continued to hide behind her graceful eyelids. "No."_

"_But…but…who was it with? You never told me you had a boyfriend or—dear God, Yuuki, were you raped?"_

_Yuuki tittered through her tears. "Hardly."_

"_Then who?"_

"_Z-Z-Z…" Why did it embarrass her so much to just tell Yori the truth? Yori knew she liked him._

"Zero? _You slept with _Zero?_" Yuuki didn't need to open her eyes to see Yori's bulge halfway from her skull. _

_Yuuki laughed sadly. "It really shouldn't be that big of a surprise."_

"_Oh my gosh, Yuuki—are you…together, then?"_

"_I—I really don't know. We did it the night he came home. He was supposed to stay with us for three weeks, but when I woke up in the morning…when I woke up, he was…g-gone…"_

"_Gone?"_

"_Gone."_

"_But…but why? Did he call you?"_

_Yuuki nodded. "He said he had to go back to the university as an emergency. Couldn't be avoided. The Chairman didn't ask for any more information, but…but I know better." She began to weep. "I th-tho-thought he loved me…"_

"_Yuuki," Yori said. "Yuuki…" She lifted Yuuki's hand from the bowl and gently pulled her by her wrist into a comforting hug. "Of course he loves you. _Of course _he loves you! I've seen the way he is around you. He loves you more than anything, Yuuki."_

"_He never…actually…said it…"_

"_Did you say it to him?"_

_Yuuki forced herself to think through her sorrow, and, unable to remember really saying anything during the twenty minutes she and Zero were making love, shook her head._

"_But you do love him, right?"_

_Yuuki smiled a little. "Y-yeah."_

"_Did you ever think maybe he's just scared? I mean, this is his first time too, right? He's never even dated before! Don't you think sex is a bit of a shaky introduction to romance?"_

"_I guess so…"_

_Yori rubbed Yuuki's side gently. "Let's get our coats. I'll go into town with you and we can get you a pregnancy test." She pulled Yuuki to her feet and led her toward the door._

"_You mean…wait—are we skipping?"_

"_I think this is good enough reason to skip a class or two, don't you?" Yori asked. She pulled Yuuki out of the bathroom and the heavy wooden door swung shut behind them._

_--_

_When Zero called that night, Yuuki was in no mood to beat around the bush. She knew what was happening, and there was something else she needed to know if she were ever to survive this newly-announced hell._

"_Zero?" she asked timidly towards the end of their conversation._

"_What is it, Yuuki?"_

"_Do you…love me?"_

_Zero's end was silent so long Yuuki wondered if she'd lost the connection. She was just opening her mouth to call his name when he answered with a simple,_

"_Why?"_

_Yuuki squeezed her eyes shut and wiped away a tear that leaked between her lashes. _Just say it, Yuuki. _Zero, I'm pregnant. _You can do it. _She opened her mouth. Held the words in her throat. Tried to make her lips form the syllables, and found herself paralyzed. _

_Somehow it just wasn't that easy._

"_I've told you you're the only reason I can keep living," he supplied._

"_But do you love me?"_

"_Come on, Yuuki…" Zero said, almost pleading. "You know you mean the world to me…"_

_Why was it so hard for him to say those three simple words?_

"_Because I love you," she whispered timidly._

"_I…I have to go, Yuuki." _

"_O-okay. Will you call me again tomorrow?"_

_A sliver of Zero's light chuckle drifted over the phone line. "A nuclear war couldn't keep me away."_

"_Okay. Bye."_

"_Good-bye, darling."_

_Yuuki returned the receiver to the hold and collapsed to her bed, hugging herself gently. This wasn't an issue he could just _avoid. _Their relationship was vital to their lives—he'd said so himself._

_But he'd called her ''darling." And he'd said he wouldn't miss calling her for anything. That counted for something, right? _

_She wiped a tear from her eye and rubbed her belly for the first time. It was difficult to grasp that there was a baby in there. It was so small, so normal-looking, How could anything possibly be different?_

_But…_

_Three kits. Three home pregnancy tests, two different brands. Same results every time. Little pink plus sign, little pink plus sign. Little pink word that read PREGNANT._

_She closed her eyes and curled into a ball on her bed. Why the hell hadn't they used birth control? She knew there were condoms in the bathroom. The Chairman had kept a fresh box up there for the last three years for that very reason. How stupid to completely disregard it in the heat of the moment!_

_Yori had suggested abortion, at which Yuuki had nearly exploded out of her skin. Aside from the fact that there was likely no way she could get around the law, this was her child. Hers and Zero's. Their baby, born of their hidden love for each other. How could she ever destroy something so beautiful?_

_Yuuki clutched at her stomach and shut her eyes tightly. She wished it would all go away—that when she opened her eyes, everything would be back to normal. No more morning sickness, no more food cravings. Zero would still be at Cross Academy, and they would be more careful about their love. Everything would be all right._

_She opened her eyes, but she was still curled up on her quilt, bathing in the yellow from the overhead light. She sat up slowly, fighting off a threatening dizzy spell. God, this sucked. It seemed like the worst thing to happen to her since her parents' deaths._

_It would be another three months before she really came to love the baby._

--

Zero closed his eyes, remembering the despair that had leaked from Yuuki's voice during that phone conversation from early February. He understood now why she'd been so desperate all of the sudden. When she'd asked, he'd tried to run around the question, giving her a direct answer without having to actually say the words. Why? Because that first kiss with Yuuki the night they did what they did had been his _very _first. Because, even after two years, he was still dealing some with the fact that his Yuuki was a pureblood, the very creature he had always sworn to hate. Because, as strong as his feelings for her were, he was terrified to let her into his heart, lest he hurt her the way he had after she'd become a vampire.

And, much as he'd hated to admit it, he'd been terrified simply because the whole love thing was just so _new._

He glanced to his side, where his lover was breathing peacefully in her deep slumber, her delicate hand resting on her pillow next to her face. He gazed at her eyelids, wondering where she was at that moment. What she was seeing. What she was doing. What she was imagining.

He sighed and pulled her hand up to his mouth. Placed a small kiss on each of her bottom knuckles and hugged their hands under his chin. Her lips spread into a gentle smile and she snuggled a little closer to him.

"Zero…" she mumbled through her half-sleep. His lips parted to whisper into her ear his answer to her age-old question.

"Of course I love you, Yuuki. I love you more than anything in the world. I always have, and I always will."

Yuuki was mostly gone again, but acknowledged his words with a comforting hand squeeze.

--

Omigahd, I sooo loved it when Yuuki gave that chocolate to Zero. She made them for Kaname, but only one came out right, and did she give it to Kaname? Noooo, she gave it to ZERO! SQUEEEE

Okay, Imma need another two weeks to get the next chapter up. I really need to get organized here, and I have a government test on Tuesday. But we're almost through the first grading period, so maybe I'll get some heavy-duty time towards the end of the week.

I ran all over school today waving the fifth book in everyone's face.


	11. Union

Disclaimer: I still don't own VK, but I do own a shitload of VK crap! Who wants to see the Shizuka doll I sewed myself? Lol JK

Soooo…this was originally going to be chapter twelve, but then I found that I had nothing to say in between those scenes. Plus, we all need a little Zeki fluff after that heartbreaking last chapter. Actually, this is five pages worth of fluff. Whether or not that is "a little" is for you to decide.

**Union**

(Tentatively Titled Death By Pants)

_It was dark. Wherever he was, everything was shrouded in darkness. He looked around tentatively, and realized when he glanced at his palm his five-year-old body was giving off light—and shaking heavily._

_He glanced around, trying to decide what to do. He had to get out of the oppressive blackness…but what choice was there but to walk into it, hoping to find a way out? He took a single step and something clattered loudly at his feet; startled, he glanced down at the perpetrator of the terrifying sound. The block castle he'd made with Ichiru earlier that day stood out against the light, lit up on one side and spilling shadows into the gloom. Turning, he saw a green couch standing out of the darkness in the same way, and he knew instantly where he was._

_400 Fujishima Way. His parents' house. Their living room._

"_Vampire…" Phantomlike cold gripped his shoulders and tried to penetrate his skin. He whipped around, mortified, and found himself face-to-face with a dark void vaguely shaped like a man, large eyes glaring from near the top. He knew who it was, despite the utter lack of identifying features. Nagano Tatsuo. The vicious hunter from the Association with whom his parents used to meet._

_Only Nagano's eyes weren't the terrifying red he knew; they were blue, icy, the freezing colors of the surface of Neptune. _

"_Blood thief…" The deathly whisper pierced through his ears. "Soul-eater…"_

"_S-shut up," he tried to say, but nothing came from his lips. Nagano's dark, ghostlike hand reached out to touch him, and he tried to back away, but the floor beneath was suddenly frictionless; closing his eyes, he tensed and shied away from the soulless touch, and began to fall…fall…_

Zero's entire body convulsed in an instantaneous response to imagined impact. The sweat soaking his pajamas evaporated slowly into the cold air, bathing his skin in maddening chills. Shivering, he yanked off the wet top and tossed it aside. Yuuki slept soundly beside him, hogging the blankets as usual. He smiled dismally; at least her cover-greed had spared him soaked sheets. He pulled the wadded-up comforter gently from her arms and snuggled into her. The shivers dissolved in her warmth, and he closed his eyes and forced the nightmare from his nerves.

--

Despite the fact she was drinking up to one and a half times as much blood a day as she had three weeks before, and the fact that she was also drinking her weight in blood tablets, Yuuki's hunger still protested. It was like all her body wanted to do was be barbaric. Feed when it wasn't sleeping. Sleep when it wasn't feeding. How important was this? She was about 31 weeks along. If she miscarried now, could her baby survive? Could _she _survive? If she didn't get enough blood, would she just have the baby, or would they both die?

She didn't want to think about it.

She forced her mouth away from Zero's blood-covered throat and gasped for air. Since she'd realized she was taking too much from Zero, she'd been more careful, or as careful as she could be through the whole maternal-instinct issue. She was feeding her baby, and there was only so much she could control herself…

"Finished?" Zero asked, grinding a fist against his eye like he had an intolerable headache.

Yuuki sat back, yanking her hand through her wet hair and wiping the drops on the bedsheets.

"Maybe we should stop this," she mumbled, sucking the water from a tendril hanging near her mouth.

Zero's head snapped up from the pillows. His eyes widened and he glared. "What?"

"You know…I've taken too much from you." She folded her arms over her breasts, still bare from her shower. "Maybe I can try to hold off a little more, or take from someone else, but…I can't keep doing this to you. It's hurting you, and it's really hurting me."

He sat forward and cupped her face between his palms. "Don't you _ever_ talk like that! I can take this 'hurting,' but I could never forgive myself if something happened to you or our child."

Yuuki pulled away from him. "I don't have to sacrifice anything, I just don't want to take from you anymore."

"Well, who else do you plan to take from?"

Yuuki turned away so her legs dangled over the end of the bed, clutched her pillow over her chest, and gazed painfully at the carpet. There was only one other person out there she could possibly force herself to drag into this, and she knew Zero would never want to hear his name.

So it really sucked that her silence spoke as loudly as her voice itself.

He stood and began taking his clothing off. "I can't sleep peacefully thinking there's still a chance you'll choose him, Yuuki." Maybe he was a selfish jerk. So be it. Who wasn't terrified of losing the one person he'd ever loved?

"How are 'choosing' him and being willing to ask him to do this at all the same thing?" she demanded. "I can ask him for a little blood—for God's sake, Zero, he's my _brother!_"

"So you'll take as much as you want from him, but not from me? Am I not good enough or something?"

She leapt from the bed and whipped around angrily. "You idiot! It means I'd rather spare your life than his! I love you a hundred times more than I've ever loved him, or anyone else, for that matter!" Of course, Yuuki didn't add she'd have just as much trouble taking from Kaname what she had taken from Zero. "I've already taken more than you've ever taken from me! I don't want your blood anymore!" She didn't mean for it to come out that way, and her face flushed. But she was too angry to take back her fiery words.

Hurt rushed through Zero's nerves, but he disguised it with an iron glare and a turn. "You'll drink my blood when I say you will," he barked, yanking his pajama top over his arms. "I have as much obligation to you as you've ever thought you had to me."

"Who said I ever felt any _obligation _to you?" Yuuki shouted, snapping her nightshirt against her legs. "All those months I was giving to you…I did it because I _wanted _to, not because I felt like it was my _duty!_"

Zero didn't speak. Guilt kicked his anger out of his chest and left him tired and weak. How was it she could just tear down all those protective cement walls he'd built after Shizuka's attack, forcing him to melt like a frightened little girl? It just wasn't fair.

She misinterpreted his silence completely. "You're such a stubborn _jerk_, Zero!" she cried, throwing a pair of bundled-together socks his direction.

His love and confidence swelled out of his chest when the socks bounced lightly off his back. He whipped around and grabbed the tiny girl before he could lose his nerve.

"Yuuki…" he whispered gently, running his hands over her scalp.

"What?" she snapped defiantly, even though her face was buried in his shirt.

"Will you…will you marry me?"

In less than a second, her anger evaporated. She pulled back, startled, and gazed into the liquid lavender eyes. He was trying his hardest to hide it, but she and he were too close and she could feel it radiate from him like the light of a neon sign.

_He's terrified. He's so terrified. He doesn't want me to reject him._

_He should know better than that._

"Zero, you idiot," she muttered, pulling away slightly and punching him in the chest. "What a time to ask. Of course. _Of course _I'll marry you!" Grabbing his shoulders, she tried to leap up into his arms, but was too big and heavy to do it anymore.

"Here," he said, placing his hands on her backside. "Pull yourself up."

So she pushed off the floor and he hauled her into his arms, where she buried her face in the crook of his neck and wrapped her naked legs around his waist. She pounded her tiny fists against his back as if to punish him for their argument and said, in a voice still rough from her earlier defiance, "I can't think of anything that would make me happier." The sheer irony of the situation almost made him laugh.

"You're getting heavy, Yuuki." He hauled her weight to his right hand and wove his free fingers through her damp locks and kissed her on the cheek. She barked out a single laugh, and he spun her around once and laid her down on the bed, urgently crushing his lips onto hers.

"I love you, Yuuki," he spoke against her mouth.

"Mmm. I love you too, you annoying fool."

Zero chuckled. His hand tightened over her butt. Her tongue slid from her lips and passionately explored his mouth. He pulled away before they could get too serious and rolled over to his side of the bed.

"Here." He reached over to his nightstand and gracelessly yanked the drawer open. "I guess most girls get one of these." He slammed it shut again and handed her a small velvet box with an unusual lid (it was split down the middle and the two halves lifted apart).

Heart thumping fast and face flushing with embarrassment, Yuuki opened the box and lifted out the contents.

"Oh, oh my gosh," she said sheepishly, gazing at the thin gold band with a tiny ruby set between two smaller diamonds.

"It seemed more appropriate for a vampire," he explained his unusual choice. "It's not much, I know, but—"

"You're a college student," she responded. "Besides, I like simple. Big expensive stuff kind of buys out a relationship, don't you think?"

Zero shrugged. She turned the ring and started to put it on her finger.

"Hey!" Zero whined. "That's supposed to be MY job!"

"Oh. Sorry."

Giving a sardonic grin, he grabbed the ring in one hand, her hand in the other, and slipped it over her finger.

She laughed. "Oh, Zero," she goofed. "I'll never take this off."

"You'd better take it off," he said, placing his hand between her breasts and pushing her gently back so that she lay on the bed, "before you jump in a river or decide to re-pipe the house."

"Okay," she giggled, and he hastily took his shirt off and they kissed again, his hand wandering down her thigh and under her leg. His underwear began to tighten, and she reached down to relieve that tension, tossing his clothing off the bed. He grabbed her wrists and she allowed him to pin them to the mattress beside her head, surrendering all control. A decision to let him to her as he wished. An ultimate show of trust. He kissed her ear and her throat and her chest, her breasts and her nipples and her belly. His middle finger stretched over her palm and gently toyed with the golden band on her left ring finger. They were going to be married. Yuuki was going to be his wife, and they were going to live together forever and raise beautiful children.

They would never again be forced apart.

Zero let go of her wrists and piled a few pillows behind her head so she could sit up just a little. "We don't want to put pressure on the baby," he mumbled into her hair, folding his legs on either side of her waist so he could bend over her instead. Her heart racing, her vision blurred, she spread her legs a little farther, inviting him, and released a cry of rapture as he let himself inside.

"Is this…safe?" she asked, shutting her eyes against the building pressure, kissing the tightened muscles in his throat. "You know…for the child?"

"If I thought there were any risk at all," he replied, stroking her wet bangs gently, "we wouldn't be doing it."

She tensed her legs and closed her eyes as he pushed against her. Rubbed her legs against his inner thighs to invite more of the gentler-than-usual thrusting. His carefulness amazed her; it was as though he were afraid to even touch her stomach.

"You have always wanted this child, haven't you, Zero?" she whispered.

She took his silence as a _yes._

A few minutes later, she came. He hugged her waist between his knees as her muscles tightened to carry the ecstasy through her body, and he broke away from her mouth and gently sucked on her ear.

"Kuran Yuuki," he whispered as she shivered against the pillows. "I will love you until the day that I die."

Those joyous words coupled with his soft breath against her ear threw her over the peak, and she released a small, ecstatic and uncontrolled scream. It echoed around the room and out the window into the silky black night, causing an owl to turn its head and let out a protesting _hoot._

Downstairs, Chairman Cross pretended not to notice.

--

Notes of Relevance N Stuff

1. What Yuuki meant by "you have always wanted this child" was, "you have always wanted to have _my _child." And come on. We all know he has. :P

2. I just realized that that Zero's line is from Tuck Everlasting, and it's that powerful because Jesse, who says it, is going to live forever. Then I realized Yuuki and Zero are going to live for an undetermined amount of time too. Wow.

3. Sexual activity is seldom dangerous during pregnancy. It is actually good for the mother because the euphoria helps her stay happy during her pregnancy and also prepares her for labor.

4. Outtake: His underwear began to tighten, and she reached down to relieve that tension, tossing his pants into the corner where a spider ran away screaming, "OMG PANTS!!!" Sorry. I was with my sister when I was writing this, and we must have been high or something.

Ja ne!


	12. Shiver

I'm so sorry about the delay. This chapter was originally a lot longer, but then I saw how long it had gotten and split the second half off for chapter twelve so that's the main reason. Also, I had a bit of writer's block and I have had a lot of work to do for school. Anyway…

This disclaimer makes the characters, setting, and origin of the story not mine. Why do we have to put these things at the beginning of every damn chapter anyway?

**Shiver**

_He was back in the dark living room, the moonlight from the window giving the furniture an ominous look. He was older now, eighteen at least. He stood shakily and rubbed at his aching head—why had he come here again? Something to do with blueberries? He stumbled in the darkness, blowing his mind, trying to think…the more he pushed, the emptier his brain seemed to become, until only one thing was left._

_And she was sitting against the side of the couch, panting as though out of breath and holding her swollen abdomen gently._

"_Yuuki!" he called, but, just like the last time, no sound came out. Had he always been voiceless? He opened his mouth to try again when a familiar cold gripped his body and a cruel hand descended on his shoulder._

"_Hello, Kiryuu-_san_," the evil voice said, slithering around his eardrums like cobras. Heart screaming in his ribcage, he whipped around; the intense blue of his opponent's eyes pierced painfully into his pupils._

"_What do you _want_ from me?" he demanded, and this time his voice rang out, loud and clear, before the blackness swallowed it._

"_Nothing, Kiryuu. What I want is back there." Nagano grinned threateningly and pulled a gun from the darkness that should have been his chest, pointing it heartlessly over the boy called Kiryuu's shoulder._

"_No," Kiryuu breathed, still staring at Nagano, paralyzed and unable to look back at her. "Please—"_

_Nagano grabbed his shoulder roughly and swiveled him to face the couch again. She was staring at the two of them now, absolute panic pulsing in her eyes._

"_Yuu…ki…" His voice came out with the strength of a fragile whisper. _

"_You'd better run," Nagano prompted, and sent his opponent reeling across the room with an assertive gun-barrel jab in the back._

_Kiryuu flew across the room, traveling on the momentum of the push; nevertheless, it was as though he ran through syrup, and the gun had gone off three times before he dove at the sofa and wrapped his body tightly around hers._

"_It's okay," he heard himself whisper as the blasts continued in the background. "I've got you."_

_But she wouldn't stop gasping his name._

"_Zero…Zero…_Zero!"

Zero's eyes shot open. He was back in his bedroom and, once again, drenched in sweat, only this time, he wasn't on his side.

"Zero, I can't breathe!" Yuuki pushed against his chest, gasping slightly, and he released her. She took in two huge breaths and stared at him, alarmed.

"Why are you all wet? Were you having a nightmare?"

Long vines of cold wrapped around him and he pulled off his wet top, just like last time, and hurled it at the corner. He sighed and collapsed against his pillow, trying to catch his breath.

"Sorry, Yuuki. I didn't mean to crush you."

She gazed at him for a moment, then took a deep breath. "What happened in your dream?"

Long sigh. "Uh. Do you, um, do you remember Nagano Tatsuo, that hunter who burst in on us late at night?"

A shiver swept through her. "I…remember him."

"It's him. It's always him."

"Always? This is recurring?"

"Sort of. Twice, I guess. He's there, but his eyes aren't red, they're blue. Bright blue, and cold. The first time it was just him and me, but this time you were there, too, and he…and…" He shut his mouth, not wanting to scare her any further.

"He what? Tell me, Zero!"

Zero sighed and got up. "I'm going to get some water."

"Zero!"

"It was just a _dream, _Yuuki! Go back to sleep, okay? I'll be right back." He disappeared into the bathroom across the hall and she twitched a little. What had happened to her in Zero's dream? Had she been raped? Tortured? Killed? Still tense, she lay back down, rubbing her tummy gently.

--

Zero hadn't wanted Yuuki to find out about the double pureblood homicide the Senate had discovered the morning after their engagement, but the Chairman had other plans. He was beyond alarmed, as this time one of the victims had been a pregnant woman.

"No one else can know about you, Yuuki," he demanded as they sat at the table over dinner. "Yori knows and Kaname knows and we know, but does anyone else?"

Both he and Zero stared at her quizzically. It made her face hot. "No one who also knows I'm a vampire," she muttered, poking at her steak without interest. She tried to tell herself the annihilation of the purebloods was a good thing, but every time another died, her stomach closed in on itself a little more. How long would it be before they found her? And what would happen to her family? Zero, and the Chairman and Kaname—and her child?

"Yuuki-chan," Cross assuaged. "I'm not trying to frighten you. All I'm saying is, there is no way anyone can know you aren't carrying a pureblooded child just by _looking _at you. If the killer knows about you, the fact that you're carrying could put you in even more danger. Everyone knows you were supposed to marry Kaname, and not many know that plan's off."

Yuuki slumped a little more in her seat and rested her free hand over her baby. Her eyes fell, two sad, hopeless orbs.

"I want you to keep this a secret from now on," the Chairman told her. "I don't want you telling anyone else, not even people you think you can trust. And I don't want you going to town anymore, either."

At this, Yuuki's head shot up. "But…how can I possibly stay in this house for two months?"

"I can do the shopping. I'm not so busy that I can't help you out. In your state, I'm not sure going all the way down there to get groceries every week is the best idea anyway."

Yuuki shrugged.

"Plenty of women stay inside during their final two months. And you can still run around here, at least until classes start. This is for your own safety, Yuuki-chan. And the safety of your child."

Yuuki nodded somberly and stood. "I'm finished," she mumbled, turning away and leaving her dirty dishes on the table for the first time in ten years.

"Are you sure?" the Chairman called. "You hardly touched your food."

"Chairmain—" Zero interjected.

"I'm not hungry, Chairman," she said.

"Are you sure you don't—"

"I'm fine!" she snapped, and darted for the stairs.

"Yuuki!" Shoving his chair into the wall, the Chairman bolted to his feet, but didn't move from the table. He glanced desperately at Zero, who shrugged and pushed a slice of meat around on his plate.

"I'll go talk to her," he said, standing.

"You haven't finished your dinner, Zero-kun."

"It's fine, I wasn't going to eat much more anyway."

Zero carried their plates to the kitchen and followed her up. The door to their room was slightly ajar, casting a triangle of golden lamplight into the hallway; he reached out and pushed it open gently. She sat tensely on the side of the bed, her fists gripping the edge of the mattress.

"Yuuki?"

She glanced up, didn't speak. He came over and sat next to her, put a hand on her shoulder.

"Is staying inside really so much to ask, Yuuki?"

Yuuki shook her head curtly, her short brown locks slapping her face gently. A couple strands stuck to her cheek; Zero's hand left her shoulder and grazed it, coming away damp. As he rubbed the tears between his fingers, she buried her eyes in her palms. "I'm scared," she mumbled. "I'm so scared. And I don't—I don't even know why." She moved closer and buried herself in his side. Everything had wound itself into such a knotted mess. Nothing was as simple as just being able to love him the way she wanted to love him.

"It's not just the murders, is it?"

Silence hung in the room for a good minute or so. Finally, shaking slightly, she reached up and pulled him down to her. He shivered as her warm, wet lips closed on his throat, enticing conflicting fear and anticipation. She wrapped an arm around his neck lovingly, as though to atone for the sin she was about to commit.

"I love you, Zero…"

"Yuuki—" he protested, but the brief, sharp pain in his neck cut him off. He let his eyes fall closed, felt the hot blood trickle over his collarbone; she felt it gush over her lips and spill down her chin. She tried to be careful, but in her despair, the pain in his neck was consistent, and he closed his eyes and ground his teeth, waited impatiently for her to finish, for it to end.

Finally, she pulled back, gazed into his sad lavender eyes for a moment, and burst into violent, uncontrollable bawling.

It was all too much.

--

"I used to hate my life so much," Zero supplied as Yuuki yanked her clothing off her beautiful, smooth form and slipped into that giant T-shirt. "Waking up every day, knowing I didn't deserve to live because I had to rely on cannibalism to survive. You know you were the only thing that kept me going."

"It was a rough change," Yuuki admitted, offering a watery smile as she ran a brush through her hair. "Not as rough as yours, of course, but it took me a long time to accept the fact that I wasn't a human anymore—that I was _never _a human. On top of all that…uh..." She froze a moment and suddenly began searching madly through a pile of clothing on the floor of the closet, as though expecting to find buried treasure in a sock.

"What?"

"Huh? Oh, n-nothing."

"God, Yuuki, don't do that! What were you going to say?"

Yuuki sighed and tossed her shirt, which had been lying at her feet, into the wicker hamper next to the fascinating pile of clothes. "On top of all that…I thought…I thought you hated me. For being a vampire. A pureblood."

"Oh, Yuuki," he groaned. "I never hated you. I hated Kuran for turning you, even though I knew you'd always been a pureblood. I hated the monster I thought I'd lost you to. And I hated…myself, I guess, for not seeing it before, and not being able to stop it." He sighed heavily and pushed a sweaty hand through his bangs. "I promised you I'd never let you fall into this miserable life, and I was sure that when you became a vampire, the Yuuki I protected, the Yuuki I loved....was dead." Or he'd managed to convince himself she was. How on Earth could someone who had only ever been tortured by a group of people convince himself that the girl he loved was one of them?

Yuuki's cheeks turned slightly red—she was positive her little comment about her vampire side eating her human side hadn't exactly helped matters. Still, he'd pointed _Bloody Rose _at her…

"I really thought I'd lost you," she muttered, feeling tears well behind her eyelids.

"Christ." Zero grunted a heavy sigh loaded with shame and remorse. "When I threatened you with the gun, I didn't see myself threatening _you_—I saw myself threatening a monster, a demon who took my Yuuki away from me. I saw my own failure, and I saw your future filled with blood, and I didn't want you to live with that because you don't deserve that cruel fate. It wasn't until you said…what you said…that I knew you were still…well…_you._"

Yuuki ran a shaky hand through her matted brown hair. "I know. If I had thought for even a second that you were really trying to hurt _me_, I don't think I would have let myself live long enough to hate you for it."

Zero hung his head. "I really wish you wouldn't talk like that. It makes me nervous, thinking about you hurting yourself." _And it makes me feel guilty, like I had already killed you._

Yuuki chuckled sadly. "I'm not going to hurt myself." She climbed into bed and snapped off her lamp. "Are you staying or leaving?"

He glanced at the clock—eight fifteen—and shrugged. "I'll leave so the light doesn't bother you."

"What time are you coming to bed?"

Zero cocked his head, considering. "Not too long."

"All right."

Zero stepped into the hall.

"Zero?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Zero's mouth twisted in a half-smile and he closed the door gently, easing darkness into Yuuki's room.

--

The Chairman was stirring up chocolate when Zero entered the kitchen.

"Oh, Zero-kun! Is she okay?"

"Seems to be. She's asleep."

"Oh." The Chairman frowned at the two mugs on the counter. "Guess I'll have to drink her hot chocolate."

Zero sighed and started in on the dishes piled in the sink.

"Zero-kun?"

"Hm."

"I'm proud of you."

"Geez, what for?" He bent under the sink to find a steel brush for the pan.

"You've just been so strong and brave all these years, and you've been willing to give up anything, all for the girl you love. And you've stuck by her side like Superglue, even now that she's pregnant and you may have to give up school in Tokyo to help her with the child."

"Like I would ever run out on Yuuki."

"That's not the point, Zero-kun."

"Aren't you at all worried about how she's going to get her education? How she's going to keep up now that she has to care for that child? I mean—"

"We aren't too poor to support a child," the Chairman interrupted, "and I'm sure one of you can get a part-time job, since the most intensive part of your education is mostly over. (1) I can help take care of her until you finish school—I raised you two on my own, didn't I?"

"College will take us longer now, don't you get it?"

"Zero, _I don't care._ You've given me a grandchild. How could I possibly be anything but overjoyed about that?"

Zero leaned back against the counter and glared at the Chairman for a good ten seconds. Finally he said,

"Is there a reason this child means so much to you? That you're not even worried about Yuuki's well-being, and you're so eager to take care of it yourself?"

"Of course I'm concerned about her well-being. But that's just it…I know she'll be all right, because she's a strong girl."

Zero groaned and returned to the dishes.

"When I was twenty," the Chairman said quietly, "I married my college girlfriend."

Shock forced Zero to drop the knife he was washing and whip around. "Married? I thought you were gay." (2)

"I am, but I didn't realize that at the time. I knew I loved her. And I did. Just not in that way. I loved her as a friend, but at the time I didn't know any other kind of love. Does that make sense?"

"I guess." The shock had passed quickly—Zero was back to scrubbing pots.

"Sonja was a lovely woman. Native to Canada, but her parents moved to Tokyo for her father's job. Very compassionate girl, very witty. Long black hair, mocha skin, eyes like almonds. Anyway, she got pregnant only three months after our wedding. We were thrilled, to say the least. No, we weren't done with college, but we figured she'd put off her degree a while, at least until I finished mine. It was a girl, our baby, and we decided to call her Amaya, after her grandmother—my mother.

"Then one night, about Sonja's fifth month, I woke up to her screaming. I ran into the living room, and I saw this…this monster—torn clothes, dirty, ragged hair, skin as pale as a corpse's—and he was holding her like a child, his mouth leeched onto her neck like…like…" He took a shaky breath. "At first I thought he was trying to rape her, but then I saw the blood. Smeared across its face and running over her shoulders and down her shirt. And it sensed me, and looked up—I'll never forget it, seeing that terrible glowing red for the first time—and, as though it knew it had lost, it tore its razor-like nails through her chest and disappeared out the open window. Sonja was drowning in her own blood before she even hit the floor. I ran to her, but she was unconscious, and the hole right in the center of her chest, and the way the blood wasn't spurting the way it should have been since her aorta was destroyed…I knew…the bastard had torn her heart out. And, as saturated with blood as it was, he'd run off with it. With no blood moving through her head, she was dead before I could even get off the phone. And my little Amaya…" He shook his head and closed his eyes. "I never saw her. Not even dead."

"Jesus," Zero muttered.

"That's why your child is so important to me, I guess. She's the baby I never had." The Chairman approached the sink and began drying a knife Zero had washed and stuck in the rack. "A level E. Come for a beautiful young college girl. He'd probably been stalking her for days, weeks, even—just waiting for the right time, the perfect moment to strike. That's when I learned vampires exist, and that's when I became a hunter."

"Why would he just take her with you right there?" Zero asked, leaning against the counter with his arms and legs crossed.

"They were right in front of the window. He was probably going to take her outside, but in that state…" He shook his head sadly. "Once they get their victims in their arms, well…" His voice dropped away, but in his mind, Zero finished his sentence for him.

_You know what happens._

"I'm closer to your situation than you think, Zero-kun. You have a real gem in Yuuki. Don't let what I let happen to Sonja happen to her."

The Chairman's sad voice drifted upstairs through the vent above their heads. In bed, Yuuki listened intently.

--

Footnotes

In Japan, most of the work comes BEFORE college—that is, all the cramming Americans usually do in college happens before high school entrance exams and again with college exams. Makes me really glad to be American, where we have Saturdays off, can take electives in high school, and don't have to spend our childhoods in a basement studying.

Pretty much everything else about Japan and the Japanese school system makes me jealous, though.

There is no disputing Chairman Kurosu's gender preference. It doesn't matter what your personal political stance is, doesn't matter what mine is. In one panel in the first book, there is a prominent sign pointing at the Chairman that reads "gay." Some may say that's just a joke because he's telling Zero he can drink his blood, but honestly, it's just so obvious, in all his mannerisms and everything. He's so effeminate. I think it's part of his charm.

So, I watched _Juno _for the first time in months this weekend, and noticed particularly the "Most Fruitful Yuki" manga bit. I thought it was downright hilarious, all things considered.


	13. Illness

Disclaimer: Wah, wah, wah, VK=not mine, blah, blah, blah.

**Illness**

Zero eased the bedroom door open and slipped silently inside, letting his eyes adjust from the padding darkness of the hallway to the silvery light of the full moon streaming through their window. Not wishing to disturb his fiancée, he decided not to bother with pajamas, instead simply discarding his clothing and slipping into bed next to her. The sheets were cool and soothing against his bare skin. His eyes followed the silvery light to the window and came to rest upon the glowing white moon rising over the trees beyond their window. Invited or not, the Chairman's story drifted through his head as he stared at the greys of its mountains and craters, and Zero wondered if, over all those years, he should have at some point realized his guardian was carrying something of this magnitude on his shoulders. Sure, the Chairman was good at hiding his pain, but should Zero have noticed something was off? One would think his own experiences would make him sensitive to the pain of others. He was certainly attuned to Yuuki's pain, but, as lovers, they were hyperaware of each other's feelings. The Chairman was just…the Chairman. Not really so much as a father to Zero, just a guardian. Someone who was _there. _Should he have noticed anything before? Why did it even matter? Since his family was dead, the only person on the planet he cared about was Yuuki. So why did he suddenly feel some sort of tenderness for the Chairman, in this dreadful, tragic situation?

"If I go crazy," a small voice began, jolting Zero from his thoughts, "please, whatever you do, don't let me bite you." A small, cool hand came to rest on his shoulder, and he turned over and grasped it between his, staring at what he knew had to be Yuuki's face.

"You really think there's a chance of that?" he asked, trying to tame the terror roaring behind his heart.

"I—I don't know, I mean, I just get so thirsty, and sometimes my vision blurs, and all I can see, all I can think about…blood…"

Zero squeezed his eyes shut as memories of insanity flooded back. A beautiful young girl standing above him, her warm life pulsing through her veins just inches from his skin...the thirst grabbing at him, ripping at him, tearing into his skull, stealing his breath, darkening his vision. That dreadful need…the fictitious promise of life and salvation…Yuuki's tender neck beneath his lips, tempting him, driving him to the point of no return…

"I don't want to hurt you," she whimpered. "I don't want to hurt anyone. If I try to, please promise to stop me, okay?"

Zero gazed into her eyes sadly, unable to ever imagine his innocent, precious girl becoming one of those monsters. He lifted a gentle hand and let it rest lightly on her hot cheek.

"I'll do my best."

He pulled her close and she nuzzled her head in the curve of his neck and softly cried herself to sleep.

Unwilling to reposition himself even after his position grew uncomfortable, Zero fell into a pained, distracted slumber, one possessed by demonic images and fear for his struggling wife-to-be. The alertness typical of a tense person let Zero only half-sleep, plaguing him with odd dreams and hallucinations that took place right in that setting. Time seemed to move below glacial speed, and every thirty-odd minutes he'd wake for a second and reach his hand out to make sure she was still there.

It was impossible to gauge how long he'd been tossing and turning when the ripping sense of something terribly wrong yanked him from his slumber. A tortured moan filled the room. "Oh, my G—Zero—"

"Yuuki? What is it?" He bolted upright and turned on the light just in time to see her body convulse in a repulsive, inhuman shudder as bloody vomit gushed from her mouth over the side of the bed.

--

"It's okay, love," Chairman Cross stroked Yuuki's hair out of her face as though she were again seven years old as she hugged the giant porcelain bowl in despair. "It's okay."

Her grip on her lover's hand tightened once again as a dreadful gurgling sound erupted from her throat and a small trickle of water dribbled from her lips. It had been two hours, and she'd thrown up her dinner, the blood tablets, _everything_, and her stomach still burned angrily and tried to force up more. Zero laced their fingers and reached over to touch her cheek as she burst into tears.

"He's going to die!" she wept. "Oh, God, my baby is going to die!"

"Shh…of course he's not, Yuuki, come on now…" The Chairman steadied her and rubbed her back. "Your baby is fine, I promise."

"I'm going to lose him…oh, _God, _I'm going to lose him! I'm going to lose him just like…just like…"

"Stop it, Yuuki!" Zero leaned forward and tipped her towards him so she fell into his arms. He gripped her shoulder in one hand and with the other lifted her small face so her giant, sad eyes were staring directly into his. "Don't you _ever _talk like that. You hear me? _Ever._"

"But…but…"

"_No_," he insisted sternly, giving her shoulders a firm squeeze. "We'll get through this. I will be _damned _if I let anything happen to either of you. Promise me you'll NEVER say anything like that again."

Yuuki trembled, paralyzed with shock. A few shaky syllables escaped her gaping mouth, but nothing coherent was formed.

"Kiryuu-kun, you're being too rough on her!"

He ignored the Chairman. "_Promise me!_"

"I…I promise…" she managed in a squeaky voice.

He expelled a sigh of relief and pulled her body flush against his.

"I will never let that happen," he whispered into her ear. "And neither will you."

"I…I…I want to go back to bed," she moaned.

"Okay," he answered, hitching his arms under her knees and shoulders. She closed her exhausted eyes and let her head loll against his arm as he stood and carried her back to their bed.

The angry-looking green digits on the digital clock read 4:43. Yuuki had been vomiting at half-hour intervals since two AM—the thought exhausted Zero. He lay his fiancée on the bed tenderly, put a hand to her reddened forehead, and turned to leave, but she caught his hand. Hers was simultaneously sweaty and chilled.

"Please stay," she croaked.

"I'm going to get you a wet cloth," he argued. "You're a little feverish."

"Let the Chairman do it. I want you to stay with me."

He kneeled by the bed so they were face-to-face. "Please let me take care of you, Yuuki," he muttered as he folded his hands on the edge of the mattress. Despite her weakness, she reached up and stroked a lock of that silky silver hair from his eyes.

"You are taking care of me. Just by being here."

"I'll come right back. I promise." He kissed her forehead, stood again, and walked out, leaving the lamp on to further his point.

Yuuki closed her eyes and wiped a few lingering tears from her lashes. She'd never been so terrified in her life. She wanted to think this was just a flu-type thing, but an annoying little part of her knew better. It knew she was ill because she had grown too weak. Because wasn't getting enough blood.

The cold, wet cloth felt good on her hot skin and sucked away some of the nausea that was threatening already to return. When one's been puking her guts out all night, it isn't difficult to stay still enough to fall asleep in a desperate attempt to hold off that nausea. As soon as Zero got into bed and draped an arm across the strip of ribcage below her breasts, she fell immediately into a deep, still slumber.

Zero, on the other hand, lay awake for a long time, eyes trained on the glow-in-the-dark stars the Chairman had put up seven years back in a desperate attempt to make him feel at home. He hadn't meant to be so mean back there in the bathroom. But the very thought, after all these months, of losing that baby, and possibly Yuuki too…there wasn't a way in hell he could possibly tolerate that. And her voicing it made it so obvious, so _real. _He didn't want to deal with it, didn't want her to even consider it. The idea that if they thought about it too much, it would become reality stuck in his head like rough, gooey tree sap.

The door squeaked a bit as the Chairman opened it an inch. Zero sat up and stared, got out of bed when his guardian motioned for him to come out.

"What is it?" he grumped.

"She's starving," the Chairman replied. "She hasn't gotten enough blood, and her body's retaliating. We have to do something, or I'm afraid she's right…both their lives will be in danger." He looked away and Zero caught a hint of tears playing on the edge of his eyelids. "My darling little girl…" he muttered, wringing his hands nervously. The whole episode had worn him down so much—the stress, and giving so much blood to Yuuki—Zero couldn't remember the last time he'd had one of his infamous moments of hyperactivity. (1) "I don't know why her thirst keeps getting worse. I must admit, it's a bit alarming—it's supposed to even out after the fifth month. You and I should be enough for her."

"Enough if she kills us," Zero retorted.

"Don't let your blood pressure rise, Zero-kun. I know you're worried, but…"

"But what?"

"I called Kuran. He's on his way over right now."

"_What?_"

"He and Yuuki have the same magical blood running through their veins. It has powers greater than that of any other creature in existence. If anything can calm this sickness, it can. It might even make her cravings decrease, at least for a little while."

Zero bit his lip, clenched and unclenched his hands. Forcing back tears, he turned wrathfully from the Chairman and tramped down the stairs.

"Zero-kun, please, just hear me out!" followed him down the hall, but he didn't listen. Over the lower landing, across the living room, straight through the kitchen and out the back door.

The cool night air padded his hot skin as he stormed into the backyard. Spikes of red fire blurring his vision, he knocked over that stupid lawn gnome Yuuki had made fun of in an attempt to cheer him up when he was fourteen. This was beyond shaming. He couldn't help her. His blood wasn't good enough. She needed _Kuran's _blood to keep her—and the baby, the baby she was having with _him_—healthy. It made his stomach sick.

After two long years, her soft voice saying those four words still sang clearly in his brain. The four words that told him that his love wasn't lost, that she was still Cross Yuuki despite the fangs and the pure blood and the terrifying scythe gripped tightly in her small white hands. The four words that had made him throw the _Bloody Rose _down and forever forsake his blood-born mission so he could protect her, even if it was impossible to be with her.

"_I love you, Zero."_

Thunder broke in the distance. A bat squeaked somewhere in the trees. Zero kicked the gazebo with as much strength as was in him, collapsed on the steps, and wept.

--

You know when you're on-edge for some reason, and so your sleep is really only half-real and you have dreams directly pertinent to what's going on around you? That's what's happening here, and it happened to me this morning.

I know Kurosu Yuuki sounds better, but I think it's best to keep her last name consistent with Kaien's.

1. Right here is the main reason Chairman Cross is one of my favorite characters. He is JUST LIKE ME. I have those crazy moments just as he does—I have them A LOT when I'm in my best moods—but when things get serious, I sober up and work hard to make things right, just as he does. Yay.

I need some help here. My friend says she thinks Zero is too soft. So yeah, we all know he starts to butter up towards the end of the twenties. Examples: when he almost kisses her; when he finds her distraught in the hall and asks her gently if she was able to ask Kaname about her past; when she sees blood in her bathwater and he jumps to make sure she's all right and she begs him to stay with her; when he finds her in her room, gets all concerned, and she breaks down and he strokes her hair and holds her. I, personally, almost thought he became a different person, and I liked the new side of him. It seemed like a side Yuuki had been able to coax out for the first time since the death of his family, and I really thought that was beyond precious. It's one of the things I think is most beautiful about VK (along with the messages about trust, love, and friendship). And that's the side I am writing about here.

This is my friend and me interpreting the story differently, I guess.

Everyone knows I have been worried about keeping him in-character since the beginning. He is still very rough with everyone but Yuuki, and he's still rough with her at times, too. It feels good to write those scenes (same with Yuuki, like when she had that fight with Kaname), really, because it shows more depth-of-character. It's hard to write about a character like him, because they are so complicated. It's one of the reasons I'm having so much trouble finishing my follow-up to _Saving Amy_—one of the characters has a personality I have never been able to really understand.

So what I'm trying to get at is…I need a third opinion. Anyone?

…_damare_, Maggie.


	14. Trigger

Disclaimer: If VK ends sadly or in a way we Zekis do not like, this disclaimer makes it not my fault! Mwaha!

**Trigger**

When he returned to his room, Zero lay halfway down against the pillows and pulled his sleeping fiancé into his arms, resting his head on top of hers and closing his eyes against his weariness. He felt like all the life had been sucked out of him, like any minute his brain would melt out of his skull. The world seemed to spin as the darkness descended, and he could swear he felt slightly nauseated himself....

_Bong!_

Zero started. Had he fallen asleep? He was still holding Yuuki against his chest protectively, still leaning his head on hers, so he couldn't have been out for very long.

"Ze...ro..." Yuuki mumbled drowsily, lifting her head from his shoulder. "Wha—?"

He shook the lingering sleep from his head. "How are you feeling?" he asked, brushing a lock of her matted hair behind her ear.

She sat up and stretched. "Uh…better, I guess…wha—what time is it?"

"About"—Zero glanced at the clock—"five thirty. I, uh, I think your brother's here."

Yuuki froze. "What?"

"The Chairman wants you to drink his blood. He thinks it'll help."

Yuuki gazed at him, concerned.

"What is it?"

Her hand slid over to cover his. He noticed how much cooler it was compared to when she was vomiting. "But…but what about you, Zero?"

"What about me? I'll be okay. This is to protect our baby. I can handle it."

"But—"

A firm knock cut Yuuki off. Her head whipped around so she stared at the door.

"Zero-kun? Yuuki-doll?"

"Uh…yeah?" Yuuki called out.

"Kaname-kun is here. You can stay in bed, Zero, but Yuuki, you need to come out, okay?"

Yuuki stood slowly, testing her body for strength. When no dizzy or nausea spells fell over her, she crossed to Zero's side of the bed and gave him a tender kiss on the lips.

"I love you, Zero," she whispered. "I'll never betray you. You know that, right?"

He chuckled and touched her cheek. "I'm not worried about this."

"Surely you must be…at least a little…"

"Don't worry about me right now. Just take care of yourself and our child. Okay?"

Yuuki nodded and pulled away slowly, turned and opened the door. As Yuuki hugged Kaname in the hallway and shut the door gently, Zero ground his teeth and repeated her words in his mind.

_I will never betray you. I will never betray you. Never…_

--

"I'm so sorry about this, Kaname," Yuuki whispered once they were in the privacy of her bedroom. "You had to come all the way out here, and just so I could do this…."

"I'd do anything for you, Yuuki," he replied, stroking a lock of hair behind her ear.

"I know, it's just…please don't take this to mean anything, Kaname. I'm very ill, and I need blood. That's all. This isn't something I'm doing to spite you nor is it some—" she cut off, unable to say the rest of the sentence. Unwilling to hurt him like that. But the look in his eyes betrayed to her his comprehension.

"Come on." He put her arms around his neck and dragged her into his lap. "Don't hesitate or worry about hurting me. Do what you need."

Yuuki put her lips to his throat, yet still hesitated. Every beat of Kaname's strong heart yanked more insane thirst to the surface, yet she wanted to pull away, almost repulsed by the alien skin waiting patiently under her breath. It tasted funny, not salty-sweet like Zero's, but more bitter, the kind of taste that told her what she already knew.

_This isn't yours. _

Yuuki wondered at why she didn't feel this when the Chairman opened his veins for her. She had to face it: the only blood she took any real, any memorable, pleasure in drinking was the blood of her lover. Her Zero.

"Do it, Yuuki," Kaname muttered, moving her head to a stronger, more irresistible spot on his neck. Yuuki gasped slightly at the sudden pulse, and felt her stomach lurch, her eyes grow to that intense red, as his jugular throbbed mercilessly beneath her lips.

"It's okay," he muttered, placing a hand over the crown of her head. "We've been through this before…"

Yuuki squeezed her eyes shut and forced his flesh to give way to her teeth…

--

Zero's exhaustion forced him to sleep while Yuuki was gone, but his rest, as it had been earlier, was fitful and disturbed. While he slept in their bed, the bed in which their baby was conceived, Yuuki was in the room across the hall, drinking the blood of another man. Another man with whom she had once been in love.

When the door creaked, his eyes shot open and he bolted upright.

"Yuuki—"

She fell to the bed next to him and wrapped herself around him, pinning his arms to his sides. He tried to free himself as she licked his neck lustfully and released what could almost be a sigh of relief.

"Are you okay, Yuuki?"

She sighed again. "I am now." She sat back and gave him a pained smile. "I'm sorry I had to do that to you."

"Do what? I told you I'm not worried about it."

"Except I know you are." She took his hand between hers. "Please, don't be. It wasn't really…anything special, I mean, it was really weird. Uncomfortable and awkward, and his blood didn't taste all that good, and the whole time I just…I just wished it were you." Her lips were soft and clean, and he tasted no blood on her tongue as it lovingly explored his mouth. Yet her body was warmer than it had been in a long time, and he could feel a new life radiate from her skin. She must have washed the blood away before returning to their room. Her hands tightened on his shoulders; her kisses became hard, desperate; her arms clenched around him like she was afraid he'd turn to smoke.

"Come on." He pulled them into a lying position and tucked the covers around her. "You need to sleep."

She pulled the blankets to around her chin and buried her face in her pillow. Zero snuggled against her and kissed her forehead.

"Your blood has spoiled me," she joked, trying to make light of the difficult situation.

Zero didn't laugh. "It's okay," he said, even as uncontrolled rage and grief bubbled in his stomach. Why in the name of God could he not provide for his baby himself? The fact Yuuki needed Kaname seemed almost like God's way of saying she and Zero were never meant to be. "Just go to sleep."

--

Zero tried to stay away when Yuuki fed from Kaname again that afternoon. To provide for Yuuki further that night, Kaname had stayed the day, he and Zero avoiding each other like the other was something nasty in their soup. When Yuuki and Kaname disappeared upstairs at around four thirty, Zero stayed in his room with a puzzle spilled on the floor before him, trying desperately not to think of his future wife drinking that pureblood's life again.

He wished he could have gone with her. He wished he could have gone into the room to sit with them, held Yuuki's hand while she drank, given her comfort during an act she'd made it clear she did not enjoy. However, he did not trust his raging jealous side to not get the better of him.

The Chariman's voice called from downstairs not two minutes after Yuuki's door had shut. "Kiryuu-kun! Telephone! It's the university."

Zero groaned out loud. So much for locking himself in his room.

With a shaky will, he strode into the hallway, intent on walking right past Yuuki's door. He would not stop, he would not look in, he wouldn't even glance at the giant wood panel concealing the scene he so dreaded. He would just walk on by. Easy.

But a sliver of afternoon light spilling into the hallway stopped him in his tracks—the door was open a crack. He stared, unblinking, conflicting thoughts and impulses rushing at him from all directions.

He tried to force himself to move on, tried to make his legs continue to the telephone by the steps, but the temptation was simply too great. Silent as the very air, he eased the door open a little farther and pressed his head against the doorframe so his left eye saw through the crack.

Yuuki and Kaname were sitting on her bed, she in his lap with both arms wrapped around his neck, his hand holding the crown of her head gently, her face buried in his throat. Zero's windpipe constricted. Their matching brown hair, their breathing in perfect harmony…it looked so perfect, so _natural. _It looked like what was right. Saddened, Zero was about to turn away when movement caught his eye. He turned back and clenched his fists as Kaname's hand wandered sensually down her waist and over her inner thigh. Zero clenched his teeth in anger, the sweet taste of blood filling his mouth as one of his fangs dug into his gum.

_Don't you dare!_

As his blood pooled around his teeth, the sickening bloodlust washed over his stomach, and he shut his eyes against it, willing it away. When he looked in again, the scene between Yuuki and Kaname had changed.

She was fighting him...

--

To say the least, Yuuki neither enjoyed nor appreciated feeling Kaname's hand so close to the place she wanted only Zero to touch. She tolerated it for as long as she needed more blood, but as soon as his hand ventured to her inner thigh, she grabbed his wrist and gently but firmly pulled it from her leg. "Kaname," she whispered. "Please, don't…"

"But I want to," he mumbled, leaning his forehead against hers. "I love you, Kuran Yuuki."

Yuuki's lips twisted in a conflicted pout and she blinked tears from her eyes. The last thing on Earth she wanted was to hurt her brother, but she had virtually no romantic feelings left for him now. Not after all he'd done.

"Kaname, I'm in love with someone else. I'm having a _baby _with someone else. He's my boyfriend—no, wait, he's my _partner_. He's my partner, okay? And he's the father of my child. So please. Don't put me in this situation. I've already had to hurt you once; don't keep making me twist that knife."

Kaname reached to take her hand off his shoulder and startled when he touched a cold stone on the inside of her ring finger. Her face turned beet red as he turned over her hand and his eyes came to rest on the sparkling ruby.

"Why are you wearing your ring like that?" he asked soullessly, turning it around on her finger. She snatched her hand away, hot tears dancing on the brims of her eyelids.

"I-I'm sorry, Kaname," she choked, jumping up. "God, I know how hard this is for you, but I have a right to live my life the way I want to, and—"

It took a quick second for it to click in Kaname's mind. Comprehension dawned on his face and he slowly stood, his shoulders slumped.

"Y-you're engaged to him."

Yuuki nodded and looked down, unwilling to see the look on her brother's face. They stood in silence for a while, the suspense building as each waited for the other to say something more. Finally Kaname released a heavy sigh and walked past her.

"I'm leaving now, Yuuki," he said. "Please call me and tell me if you feel better. If _my_ blood is helping." Yuuki frowned at the emphasis on the word "my." As if Zero's blood weren't helping her at all.

The second Kaname stepped through the front door, the sound of a gun cocking stopped him in his tracks. His eyes shifted to his side, where Zero stood tensely, hellfire blazing in his eyes, holding the barrel of the _Bloody Rose _an inch from Kaname's temple.

"I've mostly given it up," Zero seethed, "but it's no crime to kill a vampire, and I'm not above making an exception for you."

"Please lower your gun," Kaname ordered. Zero dug it into his skull.

"Don't you ever touch her like that again, got it? _Ever. _She doesn't appreciate it, and God knows I don't." He slowly lowered the gun. "If I catch you doing that again"—he pushed it into his opposition's shoulder—"my leniency is spent."

Kaname smirked melancholically. "Someone a little jealous?"

"It doesn't matter," Zero snarled. "Jealous or not, your actions make her uncomfortable and put her in a painful position, and I won't tolerate that."

In one swift movement Kaname clenched his fingers around Zero's throat and shoved him into the wall, smirking at the choking sound wringing from his adversary's throat. "You don't scare me, Kiryuu. If you kill me, Yuuki will hate you. I know you know it."

Although Zero tried to hide it, Kaname caught a glimpse of falter in his eyes. "How much hate do you think that sweet girl is capable of?" Zero responded, more quietly and with less confidence. "She already hates you."

Kaname tightened his grip and Zero gasped, instinctively dropping the gun to claw at Kaname's hands with both of his.

"She is not yours to marry," Kaname seethed, moving his face within and inch of Zero's. "She does not belong to you."

"She is not yours, either. She is an independent person, and she has the right to _choose_ her partner. At least she's with me because she _wants _to be, not because I _forced _her to."

"_Damare!_" (1) Kaname's free hand swooped out of nowhere, landing with a loud _plack_ across Zero's face and leaving angry red welts on his left cheek. In retaliation, Zero dug his nails into Kaname's throat; bloodlust raged when he felt the hot fluid slide over his skin.

"_Stop it!_" Lurching out the front door, Yuuki threw her arms around her brother and hauled on him as much as her pregnant body would allow until he finally let go of her fiancé. She gave him a good push back and stood, arms extended, in between the seething men. "What the_ hell _is going on_???_"

"Nothing, Yuuki," Kaname sighed, brushing a lock of hair from his face and straightening his jacket. "Just tell your little boyfriend he should respect first-level vampires a bit more."

"_Piss off!_"

"Zero, please! Kaname, just…" Yuuki's words caught in her throat as she stared into Kaname's solemn face, deep brown eyes loaded with rage, torment, and defeat. She shifted to Zero, who was massaging the angry red imprints Kaname's fingers had left on his neck and looking at the sky, the trees, the cement—anywhere but at her. God, she couldn't handle this. "Just go, okay?"

Kaname nodded, turned away. "Bye, Yuuki-chan," he muttered, and dejectedly strode off.

Yuuki turned to Zero, who gazed back at her, embarrassed but with an indisposed iron will to show it.

"You saw him touch me, didn't you?"

Zero nodded. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I guess I lost control."

"You guess? You _guess_?" She groaned and fell onto the bench beside the walk. "I've told you a billion times I'll never leave you. Especially not for my own _brother._" Resting her elbows on her legs, she laced her hands between her knees and looked up at the young father. "Don't you trust me, Zero?"

"Of course I trust you." His voice came out a mingled sigh and strangled groan as he fell next to her on the bench. "But I can't just sit by and watch when someone's doing my Yuuki harm."

"He wasn't really harming me, he just…"

"He's done you more harm than everyone else you know combined! He hit on you when he knew you weren't in love with him. He played with you. He manipulated you. He threatened to kidnap you—"

"Kaname didn't threaten to kidnap me! I mean, not _really—_"

"—and he condemned you to this miserable, bloody existence. God, Yuuki, for all he's done to you, you should never want to speak to him again!"

"In that case, I should never want to speak to you again, either. You threatened my life, Zero!"

Oh, shit. Oh, no. She should not have said that. She should never have said that. _God, _she wanted nothing more than to take it back.

But the damage was done. Shaking in rage, Zero turned away, and Yuuki wondered for a moment if her tough-as-diamond fiancé was actually crying in front of her. "Which of us do you love, Yuuki?" he finally asked, glancing back at her.

Angry tears filled Yuuki's eyes. She clenched her fists so hard her nails drew blood from her palm. "Who do you _fucking _think?" she cried, and bolted inside in a meltdown of tears.

--

(1) Damare = shut the fuck up. Or a very rude way of saying "be quiet," anyway. ;)

Poor Kaname. As much as he was being a jerk in this chapter, I can certainly relate to his pain. Being unwanted by the person you love and want more than anything in the world is like having a red-iron pitchfork shoved through your stomach and ripped out your chest.


	15. Secret

Disclaimer: VK and Zero's inhumanly beautiful face are not mine. (Seriously. Have you ever seen a picture of him smiling? It MELTS your HEART.)

**Secret**

Yuuki spent the rest of the afternoon in the kitchen, trying a recipe that was a little more gourmet than what she usually served (it was a big step, but she had to learn to stir-fry sometime). Zero locked himself away, throwing himself on the floor of his room and gazing at that puzzle for hours. Neither lover even saw, never mind spoke to, each other before they found themselves sitting tensely and awkwardly at the dinner table.

"Oh, Yuuki, you look so much healthier!" the Chairman exclaimed when she came in with the food. He cupped her cheek, warm and pink with blood, and hugged her, food and all. "Oh thank goodness!"

"Uh, Cha-Dad," she said, holding the dish precariously. "You're gonna make me drop the food."

"Sorry, darling!" he squealed. "You feel better?"

"Uh, yeah! I mean, I'm not tired or dizzy or anything."

"And you were well enough to make a fancy meal! Thank God, thank God, thank God!"

Yuuki smiled awkwardly, set the food on the table, and sat before her father could latch onto her again.

"Not bad for your first stir fry!" the Chairman squealed, his mood peaking as he saw his daughter eating well. "I'm so proud of my little Yuuki!"

"Give it a rest," Zero snapped under his breath. The Chairman was too busy stuffing his face to notice, but Yuuki heard and shot him a warning glance. She picked up her fork and played around with the small pile of noodles and shrimp on her plate, not really hungry after feeding on such rich blood two hours earlier. Zero wasn't eating much either, although his lack of appetite came from the utter shame he felt every time he looked into her sad eyes. He didn't try to lie to himself—Kuran deserved every piece of it. But why did he jump him without thinking how it would make his darling wife suffer?

"Woah," Chairman Cross said, clutching his stomach and leaning back in his chair. "Rich." He sat back, suddenly stuffed, and gazed at his two children.

"What's wrong?" he asked, growing suddenly aware of the intensity between Yuuki and Zero. "Why are you both so quiet?"

"Hm?" Yuuki looked up and released a fake laugh. "Oh, nothing. It's just been a hard day, is all. We're fine."

The Chairman sat up straight, crossing his silverware on his plate. "Listen," he said, all business now.

"What?" Zero griped.

"I got a call from the Association today"—both Yuuki and Zero groaned loudly—" and I talked to them for what must have been an hour. Listen, you two. The situation in the South is getting worse. They estimate a seventy-five percent increase in the number of former humans in Tokyo alone. It's serious—serious enough for me to consider hunting vampires again."

A look of sheer terror crossed Yuuki's face; the Chairman held up his hand to comfort her.

"Only the bad ones, Yuuki. Only the level E vampires and the purebloods who are changing them. But I would never take up hunting again without the consent of you two." He lifted his eyes to them sadly. "I hoped I'd never have to kill again. But this situation is threatening to both our races. There are some cruel vampires out there, and they need to be stopped." He sighed heavily. "So would it bother you if I did this, one more time?"

"Why would I ever try to _stop _you?" Zero snorted. "These monsters are destroying the sanctity of human life. By all means, exterminate them!"

Yuuki gaped at him, horrified, and he stumbled over his words when he realized his mistake.

"Oh, Jesus—Yuuki, you know I didn't mean—"

She pushed away from the table and ran from the room.

"Christ, not again," Zero muttered, starting to stand. The Chairman stopped him.

"Let her be for a few minutes, Zero-kun. She knows you didn't mean it that way."

Zero sat again, slowly, and took a large drink from his glass. The Chairman motioned to the pill cup to the side of his plate.

"You going to take your blood tablets?"

Zero picked up the cup, shook the two pills into his palm, and rolled one between his thumb and forefinger.

"Funny," he said. "Sometimes I'm still afraid they're gonna make me vomit." He tossed them into his mouth and chugged them with the rest of his water.

The Chairman unlaced his hands and sat up straight. "There's not a whole lot I can do before the summer because I need to run the school. I mean, I'll take leave for emergencies, but most of my vampire hunting is going to be restricted to around here. But Zero, if you want to, you can probably help them when you go back to Tokyo."

"I'm not going back," Zero muttered.

"What?"

"I'm not going back. I'm staying here. With my wife and baby."

"Yuuki's not your wife, Zero-kun."

"She is my wife." He stood up and collected his dishes. "She means more to me than my own blood. I'm never leaving her again."

"But what about your education?"

Zero glared at the Chairman. "What kind of father do you think I am?"

"Zero!" The Chairman stood, his face a mixture of horrification and disgust. "No! Returning to school in Tokyo doesn't mean you're abandoning your family! Getting an education is the best thing you can do for your child, because you can get a better job!"

"I'll enroll here. It's not a big deal."

The Chairman sighed. "Are you sure about this, Zero?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I don't want to miss her baby years."

The Chairman smiled. "Of course you don't."

Zero put his dishes in the dishwasher and turned to go.

"Zero," the Chairman said, catching the cuff of his son's sleeve. "Please tell me you aren't mad at her for today. I know you don't get along well with Kuran-kun, but his blood has probably saved your baby's life. You know Yuuki only has eyes for you."

Zero snorted. "Use every cliché in the book."

"Give me a break, Zero-kun."

Zero sighed heavily and shook his cuff free. "Sorry," he muttered, and turned away. The Chairman groaned, ran a hand through his hair, and turned to the soiled dinner table.

--

Slowly and softly, the door creaked open, and Yuuki glanced up from her beaten-up and falling-apart copy of _Kokoro, _a novel she'd read at least a billion times but never seemed to tire of. Zero closed his eyes and leaned back against the door, forcing it shut behind him.

"Hey," he said quietly, raising his eyelids and lifting his head from the wood.

"Hey," she replied, smiling gently. He pushed off the door and sat next to her, rested his hand along her jaw.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to—"

"I know. You're right. Not all purebloods are like my parents and me. Some are...some are..."

"Some are."

"It's heartbreaking," Yuuki whispered. She knew to whom Zero was referring when he said "some are," whom he was thinking about as his distraught lavender eyes gazed so imploringly into hers. But somehow, she couldn't find it in her to match his hatred of that woman. The Kiryuus had put her through something terrible, and she had reacted naturally, in the same way Zero had once she'd turned him into a vampire. Vengeance turned even the nicest humans into total monsters. She was glad that he didn't seem to pick up on her thoughts of how his treatment of Shizuka wasn't any better than Shizuka's treatment of him.

His side. She was always on his side.

That didn't mean she always thought he was right.

Wishing to change the subject, Zero lay on his elbow and placed his hand over her inflated abdomen.

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" he asked. She shrugged a little.

"I don't really care. But I think it's going to be a boy."

Zero gave her a twisted smile and smirked.

"What?"

"I'm thinking it's gonna be a girl, Yuuki."

She giggled too. "Ho-kay, whatever."

His smile faded and he took his hand away. "I think it's time I told you," he sighed, "the truth about my relationship with your brother."

She knit her brows. "There's something you're not telling me?"

"Something...happened. A long time ago, before...everything. When you were trying to get him to tell you who you were."

"What happened?" she asked, placing her hand over his.

"I don't know if I can tell you very accurately," he said. "I think maybe I should just show you." He pulled the cuff of his shirt back and held his wrist out to her. "Take it," he said.

"Oh, Zero, no," she moaned. "I can't take any more from you."

"Just do it," he ordered. "You aren't going to hurt me."

Hesitant yet curious, Yuuki looked from his wrist to his eyes and back again. Finally, she took his hand in hers and lifted his wrist to her mouth, gently sliding her teeth beneath his flesh, and his warm blood was flowing into her body. As she drank, Zero reached out and pulled her into his lap, and she closed her eyes and let herself softly drown in her partner's memories…

Eyes. Vengeful, fiery eyes, glowing intense red with frightening levels of anger and bloodlust. Razor-sharp nails tearing into tender virgin flesh; a piercing pain, a desperate cry, a surge of insatiable anger. A hand trying to stem the flow of blood, bright red fluid seeping between the fingers and soaking into the pure white collar and darkening the black cuffs.

And Kaname's blood flowing into her—no, Zero's—mouth, much richer and more nourishing than what she'd tasted earlier; delicious, yet flowing with a surge of grotesque deterrent, familiar to her taste buds but so much more potent. A personal threat, an inner cry for more of the pure, magical life. And a hand woven through blood-tinged hair, yanking her head back and sending pain through her scalp.

Two dark words, spoken with the voice of an untamed beast.

"Get out."

And the cool night air, chilling her blood-soaked skin as she ran, in Zero's body, back to the Sun Dorm, to the arms of the only person who had ever loved her, ever accepted her.

--

Horrified, Yuuki ripped her mouth from her lover's wrist and realized as she gasped for air how much she was crying. An endless flow of sadness pooled on her eyelids spilling over and landing in her lap, on his knee. She barely noticed their lonely descent. The cruel words he'd thrown at her after she'd become a vampire…the comments about exterminating the purebloods…the _Bloody Rose _pointed at her chest…none of that had been Zero.

Kaname's blood had been controlling him the whole time.

--


	16. Possession

So here's chapter fifteen. Rated RSEF for random stupidity and extreme fluff. Shut up, You-Know-Who.

This disclaimer means I did not create that beautiful first kiss between Yuuki and Zero. Gasp. Sob. Baba.

**Possession**

_A tiny orange light flickered to life outside her window. The outside light on the school—he was finally done there. She couldn't remember the last time he had stayed so late in his office, but then, it was the middle of the spring semester. Finals would be in a month and a half, and then everyone would be gone for the summer._

_Yuuki sighed and turned over so she stared at the wall. The uniform darkness padded her eyes, almost warping into spirals as she stared intently into it. She itched to lie on her belly, but had read somewhere that during pregnancy it was best to stay on her side. She exhaled heavily and closed her eyes…_

Flip!

…_and started. What was _that? _Turning over onto her back, she sat up halfway, clutching her stomach where the unusual sensation had come from._

_And she felt it again. A tiny flutter, like a baby bird, from the very depths of her abdomen. Her eyes widened in comprehension and she drew in a quick, sharp breath._

_It was him. Her baby. He was moving. Incredulous tears filled her eyes as the realization vanquished any denial left in her mind. There really was a baby in there. A little life, a small soul reaching for its place in the world. A life that was half her, and…_

…_and half Zero._

_Half that beautiful, strong, sensitive young man, by whose side she'd spent her life and with whose fate hers had become irrevocably intertwined. The one who had been so cruel and cold at first, but to whom she'd given all her heart regardless, only to learn his cruelness was his way of protecting her from the demon he'd seemed destined to become._

_She lifted the fabric on her nightshirt and rubbed her lower abdomen gently. "Sweetheart," she found herself whispering. "My precious baby…"_

_She really was going to have a child, and be a mother. That baby was a part of her, and a part of Zero. This was the permanence of that beautiful night all those months ago. Life had never seemed so special, so magical._

"_Yuuki? Are you awake?"_

_She yanked down her nightshirt quickly and looked toward the door. "Uh, yeah."_

_The Chairman poked his head in the door. "I'm sorry I'm so late getting out. Did you get dinner for yourself okay?"_

"_Yeah, Chairman, I mean, I'm getting better at cooking. I left some for you in the refrigerator."_

_  
"And you took a tablet, yes?"_

_To this Yuuki rolled her eyes. "Of course I did."_

"_Okay. Good-night, darling."_

"'_Night."_

_She ran a hand through her long locks and lay back on her side as the door clicked closed. She should probably cut them. They hadn't seen so much as a pair of sewing shears since they grew out suddenly when she was fifteen. The ends were thinning around her waist and it looked terrible. She wondered why she bothered to keep it so long in the first place._

_Her fingers stretched over her belly once more and a single tear slipped from her eye as intense tenderness rose in her chest seemingly from nowhere. She knew, despite the struggles that lay ahead, this child would be the best thing that had ever happened to her._

_And she knew what its name would be, too._

_The school's light, unprovoked by movement for its set time, flickered out._

--

Zero's head was getting heavy on her chest as he slept peacefully in her arms, but she forced herself to ignore the growing discomfort, preferring to feel her second half so close to her heart for as long as she could bear it. With each gentle breath his hair shifted over her breasts and throat. She sighed heavily and ran her fingers over the long, thin scars on her lover's neck for the hundredth time.

They were still there, running horizontally along his neck, just under his jaw and just above the anti-vampire tattoo. After waking from Zero's memory, she'd kissed each one tenderly, as though to erase the dirt and pain, and he'd licked her tears from her eyes as she apologized for her brother's actions over and over and over.

"Zero," she'd asked when she'd gotten her tears under control. "Why didn't you _tell_ me?"

The awkward silence that followed spoke the answer louder than Zero probably could.

"You didn't want to destroy my idealization of him." Yuuki sighed pressed herself against him. "Even after everything he'd done, to both of us…to you…"

"I took his blood so I could stay with you. So I wouldn't have to put you through the pain of killing me just yet." He kissed the crown of her head softly. "At first I was all right, but then I started to get a lot angrier and a lot more jealous. You know, little things would set me off, until I was pretty much furious all the time. It was like I still had all my thoughts and memories and consciousness, you know, I was still _there,_ but his blood was dictating my emotions and my actions. I wasn't doing what I would have done in those situations—I was doing what _he _would have done. Does that make sense?"

She nodded. "I understand all that, Zero. I knew something wasn't right, but I could never figure out what. I guess eventually I just told myself to forget about it, that you'd snapped out of it or something. What…what was it that brought you back, Zero?"

He'd shrugged gently. "I don't…really know, exactly. I fought back a lot. Every time I pointed the gun at you, I was fighting back. If I had lost, well…"

"Don't talk about it," she sighed. "Just…"

"Just make love to you?" he smirked, already undoing the button on her pants.

"Zero, don't you think I'm a little far along for that—" His hand kneading between her legs cut her off.

"We can make love without doing _that_."

And he did, he did everything he could think of short of the action that had created their baby, and when she came at his hand she realized she'd never felt closer to him than she did then, when all the energy in his body was going into hers, when he abandoned all personal need to focus solely on making her feel loved.

"I love you," she choked, and then collapsed against his arm. Life had never seemed so beautiful to her, even when she was little and the only thing she could see was her love for Kaname and the Chairman.

"Zero," Yuuki mumbled, catching her breath, "do you think…"

"What?"

"Do you think Kaname-sama is a bad person?"

"My guess is he used to be a lot more horrible than he is now," Zero said, choosing his words carefully and trying to restrain the urge to scream out his hatred. "But you can't worry about it, Yuuki, because he's not really your brother. Your actual brother…"

"Was killed when I was a baby," Yuuki finished. "I know. Our personalities are so different, because we don't even have the same parents. Kaname's body…that's just it. It's just his body. My real brother was probably a lot more like me, like my mom and dad. But then…then…" Yuuki turned over and buried her face in the pillow.

Zero gently pulled her hands from the fabric and forced her to face him again. "Yuuki, your brother's body is home to the soul of the very first vampire. Vampires weren't always kind as so many are today. Centuries back, they were mostly selfish, ruthless killers, and it was a slow infusion with the gentler genes of humans that their descendents began to settle down. Very few purebloods are like you, love. Most of them still have that violent and angry nature you see in your brother." He sat back as she pushed herself up. "That characterized vampires back in the Dark Ages.

"That's one reason I love you so much, Yuuki. Purebloods were always nothing but evil, self-serving demons to me, until I found out about you. Until I realized that even though you were a pureblood, your nature was still pure and beautiful." He smiled sadly. "You've never fallen to that darkness."

Yuuki slipped a rebellious lock of hair behind her ear and gently rubbed her belly. "I don't know why it took me so long to see you, Zero. To feel you in my heart. All those years you were right beside me, and I was just so blinded by my love for someone who wasn't even real…"

"That's okay," Zero smiled. "Because you see me now, and I have you. No matter how long it took, I have you, and that's plenty good enough."

--

_The living room was huge, monstrous, as though each of them were an insect making its way along the floor. Yet she still sat by the couch, and he still ran at her, reached for her, trying to get her before Nagano appeared and took them both…_

_He lunged at her, ready to grab her and hide beneath the mammoth couch, yet something changed and he ran headlong into darkness, tangling himself with the black form with the frigid blue eyes._

"_Don't touch her!" he shouted, struggling to get a hand on any of his opponent's weak points. "Don't you dare—!"_

_The arctic chill wrapped around his throat as part of the darkness became a hand and began to choke him. He kicked and thrashed, even when his enemy lifted him, helpless, into the air._

"_Honestly, Zero, how much do I have to hurt you before you give up?" Nagano demanded, shoving his free hand through Zero's chest and yanking it back. "How much do I have to torture you"…he dangled his bloody hand in front of Zero's face, taunting him with the lustrous aroma..."before you realize you don't stand a chance?"_

_Still clutching Zero's throat, Nagano whipped around and fired a single shot into Yuuki; then he threw Zero at her and evaporated into the gloom. _

"_Yuuki!" He scrabbled over and worked his arm under her limp neck. "Yuuki, come on, stay with me!"_

_Her head lolled over his forearm, her eyes lifeless and alien. He shook her and screamed; a lake of blood grew over the floor, bright red and oozing up like man-eating slime, covering their legs, their arms, their chests, swallowing them, suffocating them…._

--

Sorry this took so long. Finals week, then the holidays, not to mention a serious writer's block. Next update will be faster, I promise. :/

Honestly, after chapter 45, the ending we saw was the ending I expected. No, not that Zero would be insane enough to vow to kill the woman he loves, that he would kiss her (or _something, _lol) and then be on his way, telling her that because he was a hunter and she a vampire, there was no way they could ever be together. I hope to God he isn't serious about killing Yuuki if he ever sees her again—that would just be too cruel (and out-of-character, considering the way he was in the first half of the story) and how can anyone love someone like that? Anyway, my reasoning is made clear in my other fic, Snow, so I'm not going to repeat it here.

Honestly, my opinion of Yuuki just went down so far, I can't believe she doesn't see what a scumbag Kaname is. No, I'm not saying she should get together with the guy who vowed to KILL her, but she's completely blinded by this stupid crush and doesn't realize what she's getting herself into.

So right now Kanakis are out there celebrating their one-handed victory (I is the queen of lame puns) but I honestly believe Zekis are gonna have the last laugh. In four years or so. Heh.


	17. Exile

**Exile**

"Only four weeks left, right?" the Chairman said over breakfast the next Saturday. "We should start to figure out how we're gonna do the birth."

"Were you ever able to find any vampire doctors?" Yuuki asked. "Anyone who could help me?"

"No," he sighed. "There's simply too much fear. Anyone who gets caught practicing today faces execution. If there are any, they probably only help loved ones at this point. No one in their right mind would let word of their practice leak to the public."

Yuuki sighed sadly. "I guess we'll just have to hope for the best."

"I think we'd better get Kaname out here when it starts, just in case," the Chairman said, cringing away slightly from Zero's death glare. "He's coming over later today, to visit."

"What?" Yuuki interjected.

"He's coming to give you more blood, Yuuki. Don't you remember? Once a week until you give birth."

"Right." Her eyes flitted to Zero, who stared at his plate with a solemn, stoic expression that reminded her of the night she'd met him. "Um…what time?"

"Four-ish?"

"All right," she sighed.

"Do you not want to see him?" the Chairman asked confusedly.

"It's not really that…"

"Then what?"

"Pass the butter," Zero threw out suddenly, in an attempt to break the growing interrogation. "How long did it take you to make this, Yuuki?" He gestured to the full Japanese breakfast spread over the table.

She threw him a fleeting expression of gratitude. "About half an hour. Really, not that long. So, Chairman, did you add any new classes this fall?"

That got him rambling about the new ethnic studies class and vampire history course for the Night Class, and Yuuki breathed a heavy sigh, relieved to have avoided the awkward conversation and protected her and Zero's privacy.

--

"I'm not staying long," Kaname told Yuuki when he arrived at four on the button (just as the Chairman had predicted). "Have you been ill at all since last weekend?"

Yuuki shook her head silently as the door to her room squealed on its hinges. "I don't think you need to hang around all night so I can take from you again later." _I don't _want _you hanging around all night._

Closing the door, she turned on her heel and glared defiantly at Kaname.

"I'm here to give you _blood_, Yuuki," he said defensively.

"Yeah. And that's _all _you're here for. Okay?"

"You're still mad about what happened last time."

"I can't forgive how you treated Zero," she said stubbornly. "Last time or _ever._ I know how you've threatened him, I saw you attack him…I can't take seeing the man I love treated that way, Kaname. You are my brother, and I care about you, but if you always just see him as a pawn—a _dispensable _one at that—and never as the person who makes your sister happy…Kaname, I've begun to realize…I don't even know you anymore."

"He's been violent toward me too, Yuuki."

"Right. I've been there when he's threatened you, but as far as I've seen, he's never harmed you unless you harmed him first. It's called self-defense, Kaname, and defense of the people you care about. I don't care what happened when we were thirteen—he was distraught and you were the cousin of the woman who killed his family and destroyed his humanity. Things calmed down for a few years, but about three months before I became a vampire, it got worse again, and as far as I can tell, it was you who started most of the fights. Can you deny that?"

Kaname's eyes blazed bright red. "Christ! You are so _blinded _by your affections for that boy, you don't even want to think about the times he might have done wrong against me! What about last time, huh? _He_ pointed the gun at _me. _What about _that_, Yuuki?"

Yuuki stared back in defiant silence, giving Kaname a chance to release his tension in a heavy sigh.

"I have worked really hard to accept the fact that you don't love me anymore," he said. "I have begun to realize that…that _he…_makes you happy, and I am trying to respect that. But for God's sake, Yuuki!"

"What?"

"Look at yourself! You've just turned eighteen, you haven't even gone to college, and you're…you're…_having his baby!_ You're so _blind sighted _by this stupid love affair that you can't even accept the plain truth, sitting right there staring you in the face. In your _abdomen, _Yuuki! That child is going to _ruin _your _life_!"

Shocked and angered beyond recognition, Yuuki turned and unlatched her door.

"Where are you going?"

Pain pierced through her irises when she turned to respond. "My little baby would never, ever ruin my life. _Ever. _This is insane, Kaname!"

Kaname didn't speak, but Yuuki saw his hands clench. Nevertheless, she continued. "Stop torturing yourself already! There are other fish in the sea—stop acting like I'm the only person you could ever possibly love!"

Kaname sank to the bed, lacing his hands between his knees. Yuuki's face softened, though only slightly.

"Someday, probably right when you've given up, you're going to meet someone. And out of nowhere she's going to take your heart and run. She'll completely replace me—you probably won't even remember I exist. Our love wasn't real enough, Kaname—I think it was mostly there because it was _supposed _to be, not because it was what _should _have been."

"My love for you is real," he argued.

"And so is my love for Zero, Kaname. I'm sorry; the last thing on Earth I want is to hurt you. But I love him more than anything else in the world. I have never been so happy as I have since he's been home here with me, even if I did end up with an unwanted pregnancy. I know this is hard for you to accept, but if you really love me, my happiness should be enough for you!" Yuuki knew this wasn't fair to say. There was no way he could listen to logic. Love _wasn't _logical, and reasoning could hardly affect emotions. She fell silent and stared into his eyes, waiting for an answer.

Sighing again, Kaname stood approached her slowly.

"Don't you ever just want to get away from it all?" he asked softly. "To float away from all your problems and fears, to just let go of yourself and let your heart take over for once?"

"I did, Kaname. It's what got me into this mess."

"That's not what I meant," Kaname muttered. And he leaned over and kissed her.

It felt familiar, but wasn't like kissing Zero at all. Where Zero's kisses were soft, passionate, and erotic, Kaname's were hard, forceful, and deterring. The wetness on Zero's lips made Yuuki's insides melt; that on Kaname's made her want to shrivel. So why the hell were her lips mimicking his, as though in a sick game of follow-the-leader?

It was Kaname's tongue, and the realization of what was happening, that made Yuuki push free.

"God!" she gasped, dragging her hand across her mouth in disgust. "What the _hell _was that?"

"You didn't like it," Kaname said, more as a statement than a question.

She stepped back. "No! I promised myself to Zero—he fathered my child! Only Zero. _Only _Zero! What on earth possessed me to…?" She stopped, mouth slowly falling open, and jerked her head up in incredulous anger. "You _didn't_—!"

"No, Yuuki, I didn't do anything. You did it yourself."

"Like hell! I-I can't believe you'd just seduce me like that! Using those powers that you're supposed to use to…to…_lure in prey!_" Yuuki's cheeks burned with the passion of her irrational sentiment. Kaname backed away slowly, his eyes cool and fixed on her even as she exploded in rage.

"I didn't do anything of the sort. Why would I use hypnosis to control my own sister?"

Yuuki screamed now. "I'm not your sister! Kaname is _dead_, do you hear me, and I have no idea who's in there, possessing his body now…but whatever the case, I am _not _your sister!"

Kaname gasped like he'd been socked in the stomach; as Yuuki stared into his horror-stricken face, she realized she'd never before let on to her knowledge of his condition. Oops. But…so what? It wasn't like she could stay innocent forever. Was that what Kaname had been hoping for?

"H-how long have you known?" he squeaked.

"It doesn't matter! You never were my brother, and you never will be! I was born to marry him, not you. So just…just…"

"Just?"

The unbreakable calm on his face sent her spiraling into insanity. Why, that insolent—that pretentious, self-serving—

"Just get _out _of my house! _Get out_!"

"No."

"What do you mean, 'no'?"

"I'm not leaving until you take my blood, Yuuki."

Throwing her hands in the air, Yuuki wrenched the door open the rest of the way and stormed out.

--

"Is everything all right, Yuuki?" the Chairman asked when his fuming daughter appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

"Where's Zero?" she spat.

"He's not in his room?"

"Nope."

The Chairman glanced around and called out. "Zero? Zero!" Befuddled, he looked back to Yuuki. "Maybe he stepped out?"

Yuuki sighed angrily as she felt Kaname approach from behind. "I'm not leaving until you drink my blood, Yuuki," Kaname asserted.

She whipped around. "I don't want your blood."

"You will take it whether or not you want to. No matter what happens, I promised _Okaasan _I'd protect you. It's my job to see to your safety. If you won't drink my blood willingly, I can force you to."

"Excuse me?" the Chariman said. "What's going on?"

"There you go _again, _with your domination thing. What makes you think it's okay to force women to go along with whatever you want?"

"I can force _you _because I'm obligated to do everything in my power to protect you."

"Yuuki, Kaname, _please_! What on earth is happening here?"

"Just a little disagreement, is all. Don't worry about it." Kaname looked back to Yuuki. "Come on, Yuuki. I don't want to fight with you. Let's just get this over with and move on, okay?"

Yuuki opened her mouth to protest, but a sudden lightness in her head made her question her thought as she locked eyes with her brother. New, contradictory ideas began pulsing in her brain. Why was she always so hard on him, anyway? All he really wanted was to keep his promise to their mother, after all. Couldn't she make things just a _little _easier on him?

And his throat. The thick blood pulsing mercilessly under soft white skin stretched tightly over tender muscle. Why was she denying herself such a harmless pleasure? Defiance sagging, she closed the distance between them, and Kaname took her on his arm and steered her toward the stairs.

"Kaname-kun, you're not—" The Chairman's voice echoed from a mile away.

"Shh. It's the only way, Chairman. I will not let my baby sister starve."

Yuuki might have processed his words, but chose instead to toss them away, preferring to drown in the sleepy doldrums threaded with distant anticipation and bloodlust.

--

Yuuki woke to the Chairman's shout. Bright pink splashes of color lit up her walls and she recognized the fabric beneath her as her comforter—she was lying atop her bed. But how on Earth had she gotten there? The last thing she could remember, she was in the living room with the Chairman, she was yelling at Kaname for taking advantage of women or some crazy idea like that, and then…

…what?

She shook the sleep from her head as she stood against the late brightness of the sunset. She hated not knowing what had happened before she'd fallen asleep—it made her feel vulnerable, helpless, like she hadn't been in control. And, especially eight months pregnant, that bothered her.

She opened her door and trundled down the stairs.

"Zero-kun! Please!" The Chairman's voice echoed through the house. "Just tell me _why _you're leaving!...but what about Yuuki? She's due this month!"

_Zero? LEAVING_? As terror forced its way up her chest, Yuuki ran through the living room as fast as her oversized body would allow. She hauled herself into the entrance, where the Chairman plead with Zero, who stood with his duffel slung over his shoulder, vampire gun in hand. He locked eyes with her, and her chest exploded in nauseating comprehension.

_The kiss._

"Zero—" she protested as Kaname came in behind her.

Zero cut her off with a single bolt of lightning between their eyes. "Call me when my baby is born," he said gruffly, and the house shook with the force of his slamming the front door.

"Zero!" Yuuki cried. She couldn't let him go…everything…the killer, the baby, the kiss with Kaname, the illness…she couldn't take this, it was too much…

As she reached for the door, her stomach heaved suddenly as the room spun at violent angles; a single, ruthless convulsion in her lower abdomen put her out, and she fell like a rag doll into Kaname's arms.

--


	18. Bloodbath

Disclaimer: I do not own VK. Nor do I own KV, VV, or K-Inc.

**Bloodbath**

Zero thought about jumping in front of the engine as he waited for the train to take him back to Tokyo. He considered throwing himself onto the tracks, breaking his body irrevocably and snuffing out his pain in an instant's explosion of it. Who cared about him anyway? He wasn't even good enough for Yuuki. She'd probably been happy in Kaname's arms. Happier than she had ever been in his.

Yet something held him back. He wasn't sure what it was; perhaps the imminent birth of his first child, the promise that no matter what happened, there was someone left to whom he could still matter. Something he still had to live for. Or maybe it was a tiny impulse in the back of his fevered mind, telling him to slow down, that everything would be all right and he and Yuuki could still be together. Somewhere, somehow.

His mind swung between extremes like a seesaw. _Maybe she wasn't cheating at all. Maybe he was forcing himself on her. Maybe she's crying herself to sleep right now because I left her alone because her scumbag brother tried to rape her. I wouldn't put it past him._

_Maybe she hates me. Maybe I'm not good enough for her, not good enough to be a father, and Kaname is the one who can give her what she wants. Maybe she thinks he'll be a better father than I would—God forbid—and wanted me to see that to get me out of the house without having to face me directly._

_Either way, I really am just a worthless piece of shit._

Then his mind swung back and forth between defending her and defending himself.

_The ball's in her court. She had no right to do that to you. Leave her alone with Kaname and only see her when you pick up the child. You deserve better._

_It's better this way. You never deserved her anyway. Now she's with someone who never turned on her right when she needed him most, never pointed a deadly weapon at her. Sure, he's threatened her, but that's a step up from you, huh?_

The despair mounting in his chest just grew worse with thought, and the more upset he became, the more out-of-control and irrational his thoughts grew.

_Kaname will never make a good father. That child will grow up as evil as he is._

_But the child would probably be better off dead than raised by you._

Ironically, the worst one was the one that made the most sense.

_I'm going to die without her. _

--

"Yuuki, you have to stay down. You were out for a good ten minutes—Kaname-kun was about to call the Senate to get a doctor out here." The Chairman rung out a washcloth in the bowl of icy water and replaced it along his daughter's forehead. "Let us worry about Zero-kun."

"No!" She protested and tried to sit up again, but Kaname's firm hand held her down. "I have to talk to him! I have to…"

"I just tried," Kaname said, holding up the receiver from the kitchen phone in his free hand. "His phone is turned off."

"You liar," Yuuki seethed, pushing against his hand. "I've been asleep four damn hours. I'm thinking I'm all right by now."

"Yuuki!" The Chairman insisted. "Just stay down, okay? You're so far along. Don't put the both of you at risk by forcing yourself beyond your limits. I'll try Zero later, so just get some rest. Holler if you need us, all right?"

Sagging in defiant defeat, Yuuki lay back, watched them depart. As soon as the familiar patterns of creaks on the stairs finished and their footsteps stopped in the living room, she jumped out of bed, grabbed her cell phone, shut the door, and leaned back against it. Hands shaking, she dialed the six glowing digits that would take her to Zero. If he was willing to talk to her.

_Hi. This is Kiryuu Zero. You know the drill. _His simple message picked up without the mercy of one ring. Kaname was right. His phone was turned off, and she prayed it wasn't for the reason she thought it was. Her stomach lurched and she gasped. Was this nausea from her baby? Or was it from losing Zero so fast?

She tossed her phone on her bed and waddled over to her open window, letting the late summer breeze tickle her face. Four hours—she'd slept a long time after they'd woken her from her fainting spell. She gazed out into the night, wiping her eye as she listened to the sad calls of the singing night birds. Their songs were so lonely, and each note dropped another pound of despair on her heart. Four hours, and already she missed Zero so desperately. This was so unfair! She would never have kissed Kaname, and she didn't know why she did when he'd kissed her—reflex, maybe? Or maybe nostalgia, a longing for when she had kissed him and enjoyed it…

And she hadn't even had the chance to explain things to Zero, to apologize to him, and tell him she'd hated the kiss with Kaname and he was the only man she could possibly ever love…

"Zero…" she whispered into the night, clutching her chest and clenching her hands in grief. "Zero, darling…please, I'm so sorry…"

--

Maybe, deep in his heart, he'd always known he was never good enough. What kind of husband, boyfriend, _friend _pointed a gun at their most beloved? He didn't care that Kaname's blood had been influencing him. He was fucked up—too fucked up to be worthy of Yuuki's love, or _anyone's _love, for that matter.

He wasn't going back to school. He knew he'd have to turn around and go right back to the Academy to help care for his infant. Maybe he could get a job and live in the village. Vend food on the streets or take up a janitorial position or something. In any case, despite what he'd said to Yuuki, he was just coming for the rest of his things and to relinquish his part of the lease on the small two-bedroom apartment. Despite what he'd said to Yuuki, he knew he couldn't stay in Tokyo long. He had to be there when his baby was born. That child deserved the loving arms of both its parents.

Zero had been marinating in his apartment in Tokyo for a day and a half when his cell phone rang for the first time in as long as he could remember. He forced himself off the sofa and yanked it from the charger cord.

_Cross Academy. _He'd figured as much. Probably the Chairman—Yuuki always called from her cell phone.

"Yeah?"

"Kiryuu."

Zero's blood boiled. "What the _hell_ do you want, Kuran?"

"I don't want to fight with you, Kiryuu. Let's keep this short and simple. Last night, Yuuki started having contractions. This is a serious situation. Yuuki…Yuuki's very sick."

Zero's boiling blood now ran cold. "_What?_"

"She went into labor yesterday. We took her to the doctor, but we had to leave because he began to catch on to us. She was screaming all night, and this morning she had the child, but…"

"But?"

"It…didn't make it. We don't know if it died during labor or if its death is what set it off. Either way, it was a stillborn, and…I'm sorry, Kiryuu."

Zero's boiling blood now ran cold. The phone slipped slowly from his paralyzed hand and fell on his unmade bed, bounding once and landing buttons-down.

"Kiryuu? KIRYUU!" The voice spilled from the speaker, tinny and insignificant. Shaking furiously, Zero slowly leaned down and picked up the receiver, raising it to his ear as the room melted away around him.

"Wh-wh-why on Earth wasn't I contacted?"

"She didn't want to worry you. Plus, your damn cell phone's been turned off for days."

"I-I don't believe you. It's not true." _It CAN'T be true._

"Believe what you want. Yuuki is only eighteen, and you of all people should know how complicated her pregnancy was. This shouldn't be a huge surprise."

"What about Yuuki? Is she going to be okay?"

"We took her to another doctor and he looked her over. She's going to be all right once she recovers."

"L-let me talk to her."

"Yuuki's very sick and very distressed, obviously. I don't know that she's in any condition to talk to you right now."

"I…I think I have the right to hear this from her."

"Yuuki's miserable and grieving because the baby she was having with you died. If you hadn't chosen to do what you did to her, none of this would have happened." Zero raged at the way Kaname made his lovemaking to Yuuki sound like rape. The line was silent for a moment, then Kaname's voice came back, quieter now. "Don't you think you've messed up her life enough, Kiryuu?"

Shaking, Zero stepped back and covered his eyes with his free hand. As much as he ached to, he couldn't ignore the truth in those words. Because, in the end, he knew Kaname was right. He _had _screwed up her life. Maybe she really _would _be better off without him.

"Are you still there?" Kaname asked.

"G-go fuck yourself!" Zero snapped the top of his phone down with the force of an angry lion. Reeling, he collapsed on the bed and heaved wretched, empty howls, his crying unlike anything that had ever come from his throat. Maybe Kuran was lying, he told himself. He was probably lying, to keep him away from Yuuki. It's something he'd do to get her back. It's something _many _people would do to get their loved ones back. Zero wondered if, had the situation been reversed, he himself would have done it. After all, it wasn't something you really knew about until it actually happened to you.

But better knowledge tugged at his stomach and somehow, every time he told himself it wasn't true, the tears flowed harder. Perhaps he was crying for more than just his child; perhaps he was crying for his parents, the man and woman for whom, despite his wretched sorrow, he'd never shed a tear; perhaps he was crying for Ichiru, his identical twin, the young boy who never saw his eighteenth birthday, who'd thought he'd hated Zero but in the end had loved him with all his soul; perhaps he was crying for his split with Yuuki, the love of his life, the young woman who had held him and refused to leave his side even when he'd made it clear he didn't want her there.

It all led back to one thing, though. Zero cried himself into a nightmare-stricken sleep for the family he'd never have. Never deserve.

--


	19. Bullet

Disclaimer: This is the part where I say I don't own VK and that everyone should chill the way I should have chilled about Yuuki and Zero not getting together at the end of chapter 43.

**Bullet** (Part One)

"_Mommy's home! Mommy's home!"_

_A small girl leapt from her blocks on the dining room floor (a mess to him, but a city to her) and dashed for the front door as fast as her fat little legs could take her, long silver curls bouncing behind her head. He set the knife on the giant wooden cutting board and followed her into the living room, wiping his hands on a towel._

_She jumped up and down ecstatically in front of the giant oaken door. The metallic sound of a key turning in a lock made the child jump back to make room for the door, which swung open about two seconds later._

"_Mommy!" she squealed, jumping up and down at her mother's calves._

"_Hi there, my precious!" The small brunette woman set a grocery bag on the floor and collected her daughter in her arms. "How's my baby today?_

_The girl laughed. "Daddy took me to the park."_

"_Oh, did he?" Yuuki smiled gratefully at Zero as their daughter locked her arms around her mother's neck and buried her face in her shoulder._

"_Oh, my sweet, sweet girl," she crooned, stroking her head and kissing her on the cheek._

"_Did you being me stickers, Mommy?"_

"_Of course I did." Spying the mess by the dining room table, Yuuki set the girl down. "Go clean up your blocks and I'll give them to you when I've put the groceries away. Go on." She patted her on the back and the child zoomed away._

"_Hi love," she said, straightening up and taking him into her arms. "Long day?"_

"_I've had better," he replied, and she kissed him gently on the lips, sending that familiar rush through his body._

"_Then you rest tonight," she mumbled. "I'll take care of Misaki."_

"_Aren't you tired too? You worked later than usual."_

"_And you need to work tomorrow. I'll take care of our baby tonight."_

"_Our baby…" he murmured as she kissed him again._

_Now the scene was changing. Their daughter was in bed across the hall, and they were lying on their bed, a sheet tossed haphazardly over their naked bodies, groaning and shivering against each other as they pushed themselves further and further to the breaking point. He pressed her body as closely against his as he possibly could, never wanting to loosen his grip. She was warm, she was beautiful. Each time they made love she seemed purer, sweeter, more and more like an angel…_

"Yuuki!" Zero bolted up in bed, soaked in a cold sweat with tears staining his cheeks. The room was pitch dark save the blue glow of his clock, whose two-thirty AM message glared into his eyes ruthlessly. His hand shot out desperately, searching the right side of the bed for his loved one, but found only air.

No. This couldn't be. It wasn't right. He was downright stupid to trust Kuran's word; if their baby really had died, he could believe one person only.

Yanking the phone off the nightstand, he dialed Yuuki's cell number and jammed the receiver against his ear.

It rang. And rang. And rang. And…

"Moshimoshi_. This is Cross-Kuran Yuuki. I'm not here right now but if you'll leave a message I promise to get back as soon as I can. Thanks!_"

Zero swore, slapped the holder switch, and pressed redial.

"Moshimoshi_. This is Cross-Kuran Yuuki. I'm not here right now b—_"

_Jing! _The force of his slam cracked the plastic in the holder, but he didn't notice. The room was tilting; soul-searing terror numbed his arms and legs. Something was dreadfully wrong.

Zero threw his phone in his bag and fled the apartment, house key clenched between his knuckles.

--

"Where on Earth can I find information like that? If you weren't able to find a doctor over the last four months with phones, books, and the Internet, how on earth do you expect me to find her a doctor by just _going out_?"

"God, Kaname, this is our last hope. Go to the Senate hospital and ask around! Interview people. Find out about retired doctors, or see if any of the ones working there would be willing to come help us. Anything! Please, Kaname!"

Yuuki had never seen the Chairman so desperate. She felt her face—flushed from her last contraction, the fourth in the last six hours. Each one came long after the last, but they were done hoping for a false alarm. This was real, this baby was coming. And it was four weeks early.

"I don't want to leave her side."

"Do you want her to get fatally sick?"

Kaname unfolded his arms, sighing in defeat. "Fine. I'll go to the Senate. But you have to let me take your car!"

"My car? Why? I hardly ever use that thing. It might give you some trouble starting up."

Kaname glowered. "Because it's more reliable than my old junk heap."

"Fine, my keys are in the drawer next to the refrigerator. Hurry!"

Kaname gave Yuuki a kiss on the forehead and left the room.

"Call Zero and tell him to come home!" the Chairman called after him.

"Sure."

He turned back around, and smiled at his daughter, squeezing her hand gently. "She's coming! You're going to have your baby!"

Yuuki smiled back through her fear, tears pricking in her eyes. "Yeah."

"What are you going to name it?"

She drummed her fingers on her sheets. She knew he was trying to take her mind off her anxiety. "I have some ideas," she said, and closed her eyes again.

--

She wasn't going to last much longer. They were coming every ten minutes now, and they were starting to _hurt. _The Chairman had run across the quad to the infirmary to see if he could find something, anything, to make the process easier on her.

Another cramp pushed at her. She grimaced against it and remembered something about moving being a good idea during labor. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to move before or after her water broke (or all the time?); nevertheless, she pulled herself out of bed and wobbled out of the room.

Her body seemed ten times heavier than it had when she'd lay down. It took all her effort just to reach above her head to get towels from the linen closet. Maybe it would be best to do the birthing in the kitchen, where stains could be cleaned off the floor easily and there was plenty of room. She took the stairs slowly, gripping the rail and getting a firm footing on each step before moving on. She'd have to go back up to get pillows, too—crap.

The house was golden with midmorning light. Another surge of fear rushed through her system as her muscles threatened to cramp again. Was thirty-two weeks really good enough? What if there _was_ a problem? She was pretty sure she was too far along for there to be any issues, but that damn maternal instinct made her worry anyway.

She didn't think she could bend enough to spread the towels over the floor—she'd have to get the Chairman to help. Maybe he could get the pillows for her too? She dropped the towels and her head snapped up when a loud, metallic tone sounded from nearby.

Her cell phone was lying on the counter next to landline and memo pads, and the alert light on the screen flicked off just as she approached. She flipped it open and checked the LED.

_Two missed calls. _Probably Kaname. Had he found a doctor? She pressed the VIEW button and her breath halted in her throat.

_Zero._

She heard the front door opened and shut. That was fast. "Chairman?" she called out, and hobbled out of the kitchen, cell phone clutched in her hot right hand. She turned the corner into the living room—

—and found herself staring down the barrel of a rifle reminiscent of the one Yagari Toga used to kill level Es.

--

Yuuki hadn't known it possible to be as fatally terrified as she was now. Blue eyes, cold as death, glared at her from the other end of the shiny black pipe. Icy blue…she recognized the owner, but she couldn't on her life identify him or even where she knew him from. Her voice came out a whispered tremor.

"Wh-who—?"

"Come now, my dear, surely you remember me?"

An explosion with power to decimate her eardrums ricocheted through the room and something bit into her shoulder and began to burn into her flesh. Crying out, she grasped the wound and fell on her backside as the maddening crimson scent filled the room.

"You don't? I'm disappointed, Kuran-san."

"Oh, God," she moaned, collapsing on her back. The fire circled cruelly in her shoulder and she blinked back tears as a heavy boot crushed her sternum, forcing her all the way to the floor.

The fire of those menacing eyes as they glared into hers was almost more frightening than the one raging under her skin. "I'm sorry, Kuran-san," he said, bringing the rifle up and pointing it at her nose, "as you are the daughter of my dear friend. I was willing to overlook you and your brother because you have never been known as a threat to the rest of society. But your pregnancy leaves me no option."

Yuuki drew in a sharp breath as comprehension filled her from the pit of her stomach like waves from a cold sea. "You're the one who's been killing my cousins—!"

"I'm merely trying to protect the human race from further exposure to this putrid disease. Even if you do not spread it yourself, I cannot let you bring another pureblood into the world."

"But my baby's _not _a pureblood!" she cried desperately. "He's not, the father's a human!"

Hesitation flashed momentarily through the hunter's eyes, but not a second later they narrowed into slits and he moved the barrel between her eyes.

"You monsters have no place in this world," he seethed, and placed his finger on the trigger.

"_Get your filthy hands off my wife!_"

The hunter whirled around, jerking the rifle away from Yuuki, and the sound of a second explosion pressed against itself in the small room. He fell back, swinging the barrel of the rifle dangerously, and Zero stormed across the room fearlessly, the smoking _Bloody Rose_ still aimed at his opponent. If there was any terror of the man Zero recognized as Nagano Tatsuo's younger brother—Masa, the man from his nightmares, (1) the man he had forgotten until now—it hid behind the blinding fury raging red in his irises.

"You worthless piece of _shit_!" he seethed, firing another shot at his opponent. The rumor about vampire bullets being harmless to humans was only that—a rumor, based on the fact only vampires were allergic to the chemical composition. As solid shrapnel, vampire bullets could do just as much damage to humans if they were fired into a vital organ.

Injured though agile, the hunter rolled across the carpet and the bullet struck the floor. Zero was cocking the gun again when Nagano Masa fired a shot of his own, which caught in Zero's neck, jerking him to a halt. A second bullet pierced into his hip, and the one that hit his chest forced him off his feet. The cruel floor sent a taunting pain through his tense back and he gasped and coughed, swallowing the sweet taste of blood in his mouth.

"_Zero!_" Yuuki pushed herself up against the searing pain and tried to crawl over to her partner. "Zero!"

The hunter, shot only in the shoulder, managed to stand and used the butt of the rifle to knock the struggling Zero on his back again. Grabbing the _Bloody Rose _from Zero's side, he crushed a hand over his throat, lifted him up, and pinned him to the wall.

"The son of the two greatest hunters in the Association protecting a pureblood?" he said, poking the end of the _Bloody Rose_ into Zero's bleeding chest. "I'm disappointed, Kiryuu."

Zero might have given in and let the jackass finish him were it not for his only love struggling across the floor, injured and slowly bleeding to death. But instead he pushed against his attacker and bared his fangs so nastily even Yuuki had to look away in terror. He stopped fighting, however, when the barrel of the handgun dug into his temple—if he moved now, Nagano Masa would shoot him, and there would be no chance for his family. Was there any way he could talk or trick his enemy into moving the gun away?

"I still serve you guys," he spat. "If you kill me, you lose the last Kiryuu in the Association."

"And the last Kiryuu expends his life defending a pregnant pureblood? Those disgusting worms of flesh who feed on human life to satiate their own selfish desire? How can you forgive the existence of something that lives to destroy the innocent?"

Yuuki was a mere three feet away when she grabbed her abdomen, groaned, and collapsed on her side.

_She's in labor. _Zero's mind raced, jumping headlong into despair. "Please. Yuuki has never harmed anyone, and her child isn't a pureblood. You stand to gain nothing by murdering Chairman Cross' only child."

Nagano Masa stared into his eyes for a moment, and comprehension dawned on his face as he looked from Zero to Yuuki. "Jesus Christ…you're in love with her. That baby is yours, isn't it, Kiryuu?"

Zero coughed heavily and this time couldn't keep the blood in his mouth. It leaked from the corner of his lips and dribbled into his hand, and Yuuki let out a tiny cry when she saw it.

The bullet had punctured his lung.

"The classic _Romeo and Juliet_. How sad." Nagano Masa tightened his grip on Zero's throat and moved to squeeze the trigger.

And an adrenaline rush stronger than any that had ever assaulted Yuuki's nerves forced her conscience and soul into submission. Rabid with anguish and bloodlust, she forced herself to her feet, slammed into the hunter, and buried her fangs in his throat.

They all slid to the floor and Zero wrapped his arms around his wife and held her close as she drank in the life that would save their baby. She was barely aware of herself; all she knew was the wretched bloodlust from her labor and the gunshot wound, her fury at the violent discrimination against her family, and the vital need to save Zero and her child. When the blood ran cold of life and she was sure the hunter was dead, she released her grip and collapsed, sobbing, into Zero's warm arms. Finally, _finally, _she'd been able to protect him the way he'd always protected her.


	20. Deliverance

**Deliverance**

Groaning against his withering strength, Zero hauled Yuuki away from the dead man and lay her on her back, ripping off her shirt to examine the her shoulder. The wound was still there, her eyes still faintly red, even after all that blood…that meant the bullet was still inside her body, and until it was gone, no amount of blood would heal its destruction.

"Zero, please, get my phone, we have to call a doctor—"

"Shhh. Let me worry about this."

"You're injured really badly!"

"I'll be _fine,_" he growled. "I have the power of three purebloods inside me."

"But—"

"For God's sake, Yuuki, _be quiet_!"

Yuuki's voice fell away, and those tortured dark eyes stared, shocked, at his, pushing that familiar stab of guilt in the pit of his gut.

He raised her upper half into his arms and kissed her bloodstained lips. "His bullet's still inside you. I'm going to have to dig it out so you can heal, okay?"

Yuuki nodded, the sobs starting to heave again. "O-o-okay."

"Shh, Yuuki. Just settle down."

She squeezed her eyes shut as he gently pushed a finger into the wound, cringing against the pain of his search for the cruel bit of metal. "Ah…oh, God…ow…_ow!"_

"I'm sorry, Yuuki, I'm so sorry…" He pressed his lips into hers to distract her from the pain. The tip of his finger found a hard, slimy object, and he sighed in relief—he'd found it. It was lodged deep, stopped only by the upper half of her scapula. But he had to get it out or his blood wouldn't heal her.

He stood and limped into the kitchen, clutching the bloody hole in his hip. God, he'd been shot three times—it didn't matter how many purebloods he'd fed upon. Unless someone came by soon, even if he managed to save her, he was sure he wasn't going to make it.

But he wasn't going to sacrifice any precious time making emergency calls.

"I'm sorry, my love," he muttered as he grabbed the paring knife from the drawer, speaking to both his wife and his unborn baby. "I'm sorry I can't be there for you."

Blood trailed all across the tile on the kitchen floor as he stumbled out. He felt his energy swirl down a drainpipe. He practically fell to his knees at Yuuki's side when he got back to the living room.

"Zero! Oh, God—" Yuuki tried to sit up but only managed to put herself through excruciating pain. Her hand walked across the floor and found his instead. "Zero, we need to call a doctor, right now!"

"I'm—okay, Yuuki," he whispered, raising the knife to her wound. "Don't worry."

"Wh-what are you doing?" she cried when she saw the blade. "Zero—!"

"Shh," he said, slicing the tip of his left index finger and touching it to her lips. "Just suck on my finger and don't look."

She took his finger in her mouth and turned her head away, hardly soothed by the taste of his life dancing on her tongue.

He pulled the knife through her skin quickly, opening about two centimeters from the wound to create a hole big enough to slip two fingers in. She cried out and arched her back, but didn't push him away.

"I'm almost done, Yuuki," he whispered, probing for the bullet once again. "Hang in there."

It was difficult to get the slippery object to stay between his fingers once he found it, but he squeezed the metal as hard as he could and carefully lifted it up. She sucked in a pained breath through clenched teeth and clutched his wrist in a deathlike grip.

"There. It's out." He sighed in relief as the metal _clinked _onto the wood next to them. Yuuki whimpered and he wiped the tears from her cheeks.

Without the bullet's acting as a stopper, the blood began to flow freely from her skin, and Zero didn't know if he could give her blood faster than it would drain away. Panicking, he tore off his shirt and wrapped it tightly around her shoulder, praying it would provide enough pressure to stop the flow.

"Now," he said, pulling her into his arms and guiding her lips to the one bullet wound that went all the way through—the one in his neck. "Take it."

"W—_what_?"

"So your shoulder will heal! We'll call for help once you're stable, okay?"

"But you'll die if I do that!"

"Goddammit, Yuuki, don't you get it? You're in labor, you're losing blood—and if you die, _our child dies too_!"

"But…I'm going into labor right now! Even if I die, you could still save the baby!"

Zero clenched his teeth in despair. Time lost was life lost. "Yuuki, listen to me! I've been shot three times, and one is in my lung. If I die first, _she'll die before help can get here_!"

Yuuki turned away and wiped her tears away with her good arm. Zero softened a little and turned her face back to him.

"What if we drank each other's blood? You know, at the same time. Then we'd keep it flowing through the both of us, it'd provide life for both of us…we'd be sharing a bloodstream. We'd be okay until someone got here."

"But you're bleeding from three wounds. You'll keep losing blood anyway! I couldn't—"

"Would you rather that blood be on the floor or flowing through our baby?"

Yuuki sniffled, defeated. "All right. But please…" She wrapped her arms around his chest and squeezed him as tightly as she dared. "I want you to bite me before I start."

"Don't worry, I will."

"No, I want to feel your fangs under my skin. I can't lose you again, Zero! I can't handle that!"

"I promise you won't lose me." He guiltily bit back the "even though I'll likely die" part and bit into her neck. Salvation poured into his body and, for the first time in years, he found himself struggling with the instinct to drown in her blood. The tang of her grief, the salt in her anger, the sweetness of her love. Instead he tore back. "There. Now do it!"

Wiping away her tears, trying desperately to be brave, Yuuki put her mouth to the wound on his neck and the spell overcame her, taking away all sense of reality to leave her with only the instinct to protect her child. Relieved at her mental absence, Zero let up on her blood—she wouldn't notice if he was taking less than she. He would have stopped completely, yet something held him back, something other than the long-lost urge to consume all of her, to make her a part of him. An intense feeling, a sense of nirvana slowly growing as her blood floated over his tongue, starting as a faint nebula and expanding until it became a supernova, shining light into every cell in his body. It reminded him of the zenith of the night he'd lost his virginity, powerful and cruel in how it pushed him to the very limits of his physical capacity; it was as though he was one with her again, as though all three of them were joined in an inseparable bond, a single entity that could never come unglued. It pulsed through his brain as her felt their blood merge in his veins, and he felt himself falling, falling...

This was all—he was dying. Maybe there was still a chance for him, maybe his love for Yuuki would salvage his soul, and maybe he'd still find beauty and happiness after his body disintegrated into nothing. Maybe his spirit would stay with hers in this bond he felt, and until the day she died he would be there to protect her and she would feel his love even when no one else was there to give theirs.

"Call for help when you're finished," he said, unaware of the powerless shudder of his voice. "And give our baby my love."

And, relishing the strong feeling of her heart beating under his skin, he closed his eyes and let darkness capture his soul.

Thirty seconds later, Kaname burst through the door.

--

WARNING. BULLET REMOVAL IS AN ADVANCED MEDICAL PROCEDURE AND IS CONSIDERED EXTEREMELY RISKY EVEN BY MOST DOCTORS. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

No, seriously. DON'T.


	21. Interlude

Disclaimer: I do not own VK, which is really OK, because I really don't like the direction it is taking right now. . Stupid filler chapters.

_**Interlude**_

"_My _otootosan (1)_ was always such a biased, irrational fool," Nagano Tatsuo sighed, scraping at the sidewalk with the toe of his boot. "Always so violent and trigger-happy. We all knew it would end like this. He always talked about killing vampires no matter their status. He didn't care about violating God-given rights."_

_Yagari Toga stuffed a cigarette in his mouth and struck up his small red lighter. They sat on a low wall by the street outside the small Osaka hospital, waiting. Yagari took the cigarette between his fingers and blew the smoke into the wind._

"_Ironic, isn't it?" he said casually. "The daughter of the most powerful vampire family is in there having the baby of the most powerful hunters' son." He smirked. "So how many vampire doctors work here?"_

"_There are three medical teams made up of vampires. Shimane Mikio arranged to have them all available to the Cross family. I don't know what kind of crazy-ass excuses they're giving those silly nurses. IV meds laced with heavy amounts of blood? Seriously."_

"_And you aren't mad at her for killing him?"_

"_Not really. They say you're supposed to love your family members unconditionally, but from the moment he murdered an innocent pureblood child twenty years ago I've hated him. Kuran-sama did what she did in self-defense. I would have done the exact same thing."_

_Nagano sighed. "From what you've told me, they're lucky to have survived."_

"_Yuuki mentioned something about _orbis diviniti o_n the way over, when one of the EMTs asked if she'd taken blood."_

"Orbis diviniti_?" _(2)

"_You've heard of it. It's when two vampires drink each other's blood heavily enough and long enough that it creates a sort of unified life flow between the two of them, a merging of their bloodstreams. It's common—almost every vampire couple does it as a sexual practice—but I think this would be the first time I've heard of it saving lives, if that is indeed why they're still here. But it would make sense—it would have kept their life from wasting away."_

"_Zero was always so sweet when he was little," Yagari sighed. "I met him when he was only three years old. Beautiful little boys—absolutely identical. Their parents had already taught them bowing and thanking. Over the years Zero grew into a kind young man, the type of person who was sensitive to everyone's emotions and couldn't possibly harm even the smallest being. Then he saw vampires, and it slowly began to change him." Long drag. Ash fell lightly at Yagari's feet. "He was so scared and confused after I killed his _sensei. _I never went easy on him—he had to toughen up if he was ever going to be a successful vampire hunter. Then his family died, and…he became a completely different person."_

"_People often change after trauma like that," Nagano supplied._

"_Yes, and oftentimes they never come back…which is why I was surprised when I found out about his relationship with Yuuki. It seems recently his tender side has begun to reemerge."_

_Nagano laughed. "Nothing like a beautiful girl to heal a man's broken heart."_

_Yagari stubbed out his cigarette on the wall and they waited, staring listlessly at the passing cars._

_--_

(1) _Otootosan _means _younger brother. _I used it here because it sounded better than directly specifying his age in relationship to Nagano Tatsuo.

(2) Latina regit! See if you can decipher these Latin words.


	22. Dangling

Disclaimer: Don't own Vampire Knight, don't really want to anymore. Just wanna own Zero and Yuuki. Oh snap that did not sound right AT ALL.

**Dangling**

Memories of the next hour were jumbled and vague, swirling and pulsing in her mind as rapids, tossing her around and pulling her under.

Zero's limp body in her lap. Screaming till her vocal cords were frayed. "Save him! Dear God, help me save him!"

Lying in Kaname's lap, tears soaking her cheeks. Begging him to ignore her and care for Zero.

Familiar, glowing red eyes, staring into hers, their owner lifting her upper half off the floor and telling her to breathe. Something about an Osaka hospital with a medical team composed entirely of vampires.

Kaname wringing his blood into Zero's wounds and pumping his chest. The mumbled words, "Come on, you bastard. Don't you dare, don't you do that to her…"

EMTs rushing in and lifting Zero onto a stretcher. Waiting another ten minutes before they returned for her. The Chairman waiting with the helicopter in the soccer field. A hot and turbulent ride with Zero and a medic in a cramped little cabin.

White sheets, white lights, white world. Strangers stripping her, spreading her legs, pushing gloved fingers inside her and announcing measurements. A doctor screaming "blood this, blood that." A brunette nurse holding her hand, stroking hair off her sweaty face and speaking in a silky voice.

"_Ichi ni san shi. Ichi ni san shi_. Shh, sweetie, shh."

And, through it all, searing, sadistic abdominal pain.

--

In the end, Yuuki would be grateful Zero was asleep in the ICU when she gave birth three hours later. She would be glad he wasn't in with her to see her scream, to see the agonized tears stream down her face as she struggled to bring their baby girl to life. Their boy was much easier and followed his sister within a half hour, but Yuuki was glad Zero wasn't there to see the OB/GYNs mutter urgently, to feel the terror as the doctors whisked the little child to neonatal intensive care when they could not get him breathing. She would be glad he was gone as she screamed and bawled for her baby, as Kaname, who had only just arrived with the Chairman, had to hold her back to keep her from leaping from the bed and tearing away from all the tubes and devices to which she was hooked up. She would be glad he didn't have to see her in such dreadful agony, and that he was spared the trauma of learning his son left her womb shivering, blue, hanging on his life by a rapidly fraying thread.

In the end, she would be glad, but at the time he was the only person she wanted, and the Chairman would tell him later the entire birthing she'd been screaming his name, begging anyone who would listen to take her to him so he could hold her and comfort her and soften the impact of the whole ghastly experience.

But he was drugged out in the ICU, and she had to gather enough strength to face this one on her own.

--

The first thing he was aware of was the incessant _beeping _of a heart monitor permeating the soothing velvety blackness. The dark padded his eyes for a brief moment as he slowly came to consciousness, then he opened them, each lid carrying the weight of a cinder block. White. White, everywhere, everything was white. Why?

He stared at the wall for a moment, dazed, as the morning's events oozed back to him as thick, lethargic molasses. He was in a disinfectant-reeking white world, hooked up to an IV full of dilated blood…he was in a hospital, as a vampire? The Senate's hospital, he guessed. The morning's events…a fight, gunshots, a biting pain in his hip and throat…Yuuki…_Yuuki!_

Zero whipped over and frantically hit the call button about fifteen times. He waited around twenty seconds and was on the verge of ripping off his monitors and charging from the room when a young nurse passed through the door, clipboard in hand.

"Ah, Kiryuu-san, you're awake," she said cheerfully. "I called the doctor and when he gets here we can have you moved to general care and—"

"Where is she?" he demanded, clenching a fist. "Tell me where she is. Tell me she's okay!"

"Calm down, Kiryuu-san! I talked to your father ten minutes ago. She's fine. He told me to tell you her wounds are healing and she's awake and talking."

"Has she had the baby?"

"I don't know anything more about it. That's all he told me, and she's not in this ward."

The Chairman chose that moment to wobble in on crutches, his left leg trapped in a humongous cast. "Zero-kun! Thank God you're awake. We need to talk, right now."

The nurse turned to him. "Cross-san, I called the doctor. He should be coming as soon as he can."

"Thank you very much, Mako-san. Could you, uh, give us a minute, please?"

"Yeah, Actually, I can go check and see how long it'll take the doctor to get here."

"That'd be great. Thanks, Mako-san."

Once the nurse had left the room, the Chairman hobbled over to Zero's bedside and clumsily sat in the armchair, where he was machine-gunned with frantic questions and demands.

"Your eyes are red. Why are your eyes red? What happened?"

"Zero, Zero." The Chairman held up a silencing hand. "I need you to listen to me. First and most importantly, Yuuki is perfectly fine. Because you dug out that bullet and fed her, her wounds healed back at home. The only thing she was here for was her childbirth…she had the children three hours ago."

Zero froze. "Ch-_children_?"

The Chairman smiled sadly. "You have twins, Zero. A girl and a boy. The girl is doing wonderfully; she's in the nursery right now and you can go see her after the doctor moves you. But the boy…"

Any joy Zero felt at having twins—one a healthy baby girl—turned to ice in his veins.

"What? _He's dead?_"

"No, no, he's not dead. He's very sick, Zero. He's in the OR right now. We don't know much yet, except that he is very tiny and very weak—when he was born, they couldn't get him breathing. They swiped him away before Yuuki even had the chance to hold him. The doctor said he's underdeveloped, which can sometimes happen with vampire births, and…and we really…don't know anything else right now."

Zero shuddered wretchedly and buried his face in his hands.

"They're doing everything they can, Zero. Everything they possibly can."

"Take me to her," he demanded, his agonized voice muffled by his palms.

"To whom? Yuuki or your daughter?"

"To Yuuki! Take me to Yuuki, right now!"

"They're moving you in with her soon, but we have to wait for the doctor's okay—"

Zero's head snapped up savagely. "I don't give a _shit _about the doctor! I _need to see my wife!_"

"Calm down, Kiryuu-san," a deep male voice sounded from the doorway. "We should be able to get you over there in ten minutes or so."

Zero's head whipped in the direction of the sound. A tall, middle-aged man with curly black hair came through the tiny hallway, far too graceful and handsome to possibly be human. So they _were _at the Senate's hospital. But then why were doctors working so hard to save his and Yuuki's child?

"Hello, Kiryuu-san. My name is Shimane-sensei. I just have to go over a few things with you and then we can move you in with your wife, okay?"

"How's my son?" Zero demanded.

"I'm not in charge of your son's procedure, Kiryuu-san, so I really can't tell you. You'll have to see Mizuno-sensei for that." Shimane-sensei looked at his chart and nodded as though in affirmation.

"When we got you here we had to take you into surgery to get the bullets out of your wounds," he explained, "and then you had a blood transfusion to replace what you'd lost and help your wounds heal more quickly."

Zero felt his neck where the bullet had gone in—all he found was a small scar. "Who provided the blood?"

The doctor frowned and raised a paper on his clipboard. "A…Kuran Kaname-san?"

Zero's eyes bulged. Kuran…Kaname? _Kaname?_ The Chairman placed a hand over Zero's to keep him from spouting something he'd regret.

"Let me give you a quick examination before we transfer you to general care," the doctor said. "Can you take off your gown?"

Zero reached around and pulled the three ties in the back of his dress, which fell limp around his waist. "Why are you guys trying so hard to save my son?" he asked as the doctor probed his neck and then—"Lie back"—his hip and chest. "You told us the Senate doesn't assist with things like this."

Shimane-sensei checked the machines and wrote a few notes on his chart. "You aren't at the Senate hospital, Kiryuu-san. This is [SOME RANOM OSAKA HOSPITAL]. Everyone on my medical team is of noble blood."

"D-do you ordinarily help people like us?" Zero asked, imagining the Association coming, killing everyone, and shutting down the entire medical complex.

"Not ordinarily, Kiryuu-san. But Yuuki is a Kuran, and I was a close friend of her parents. I couldn't just leave her when I found out she was in such risky childbirth." He retied Zero's gown and took a few notes. "Believe me, though, I was fairly stunned when I found out you were the father."

Zero rolled his eyes to the point of it being painful. He was done dignifying that sort of comment with a response.

"I'm really very sorry about your son. They are doing everything they can possibly think of to save his life. At this point, all you can really do is pray."

Vampires? Praying? Zero's face twisted in a sardonic frown.

He could have walked easily to his new room in general care, but Shimane-sensei insisted he lie in a moving bed to prevent suspicion from the human staff. The transfer took the better part of an eternity; Zero stared at the moving tiles of the ceiling listlessly, the only thoughts racing through his mind those of the morning, his son, and his Yuuki.

God, how he wished he could have been there for her during the births.

Yuuki's room seemed as small as legally possible for two injured people; two beds sat behind their own curtains, and there was one bathroom, one TV. Once they'd wheeled his transfer bed into the room and replaced his IV sack no a moving pole, he stood and slowly approached the tiny form the blankets hugged, topped with a small pinkish face and a mass of messy brown hair. He reached out and gently stroked it out of her face, staring at he red, puffy eyes, the tearstains on her cheeks, the ragged pulse of her breath. Yet her sickness and grief only made her more beautiful than ever, so tender and vulnerable, and he wanted to hold her, wrap himself around her the way he always did at home…

"Let her rest, Kiryuu-san," the doctor whispered, pulling him aside. "She's going to need that IV for another few hours, and we're keeping you both here at least one night so we can monitor your conditions. Okay?"

Zero nodded curtly, glancing back at the girl dwarfed by the gigantic bed and machinery. "Okay."

"When do you want to see your daughter?"

"Now."

The doctor smiled and motioned to the empty bed. "Make yourself comfortable. Oh, and the nurses who will be taking care of you now think your surgery was a month back, and you've been transferred from general care in another hospital. That's how long it would have taken a human in your position to get to your point of health. Stick to that story, please?"

Zero stared at him a moment before realizing he expected an answer. "Oh. Yeah."

This seemed to satisfy him. As soon as he was out the door, Zero pointed the Chairman after him and gave one quick nod. "Please, Chairman, leave us for a moment."

"Sensei told you she needed to rest—"

"Seriously. Awake or otherwise, I need to be alone with her."

The Chairman sighed, nodded, and reluctantly followed Shimane-sensei out. Zero turned and looked at her for a moment, then carefully lay down next to her, draping an arm over her blanketed form. She stirred, turned over, and pulled an arm out from under the covers. His heart skipped when he saw the protective blue tape forming around a familiar ring on her finger.

_She didn't take it off. Even for this, she refused to stop wearing it._

Groaning, she opened her tired eyes, tearing up upon seeing the crystalline lavender irises staring back at her.

"Zero!" Her weak voice cracked on the syllables. "Oh, Zero…" She shuddered wretchedly and wriggled up against him, too exhausted even to give him a kiss. So he wrapped his arms tightly around her and embraced her lips between his for only a fraction of a second, then let her collapse against him. He imagined all the crying, all the pain he'd have to face once she was strong enough to deal with it.

They stayed that way until the nurse returned with their daughter. "Here she is, Kiryuu-san," she beamed, gently passing the baby to her father. "She's only four hours old."

"Oh, my God…" Zero breathed as he settled his child into his arms, pulling the soft pink fabric away from her face. The baby opened her eyes and stared at him, that pink little face framed with small brown curls, meshing beautifully with huge eyes like violet bath beads and a tiny nose that looked just like Yuuki's. He thought of his previous opinion of all newborns looking creepy and messy, but the only word he could think of to describe this little girl was _perfect. _Joy and astonishment gripping at his heart, he kissed her forehead lightly and hugged her to his shoulder.

"Her name is…Juuri…" Yuuki mumbled against her pillow.

Zero smiled and pulled the half-asleep mother into a one-armed hug. He was having trouble believing the two of them had created this precious being they held. It seemed beyond impossible, to make such a permanent piece of heaven with just their earthly bodies.

But then, wasn't that what their love was?

--

Yuuki had gone back into her deep sleep when Mizuno-sensei came to their room. Zero was holding Yuuki gently and stroking her hair, but when he heard the doctor come in, he looked up.

Mizuno-sensei didn't have to say a word. Her expression told Zero everything.

"No," he choked, hands already beginning to shake. "_No!_"

Yuuki started awake. "Zero? What is it?" She turned over groggily, spied Mizuno-sensei. "What is it?"

The doctor clutched her chart at her waist, gazing at her feet. Zero watched, horrified, as all the life drained from Yuuki's face.

"Wh-what's happening to him? _What's happening to my baby?"_

"Kiryuu-san, Kuran-san, I-I'm so sorry, we did everything we possibly could, but—"

As the dreadful, familiar phrase pierced her ears, Yuuki let out a strangled cry, a sound that turned Zero's organs to glaciers. More devastating, more nauseating than the world of death, like razor-sharp icicles growing from a barren wasteland and pointing into sky as cold and lifeless as absolute zero.

And she fainted, and Zero was shoved unceremoniously out of the way as her pulse skyrocketed.

--


	23. Untitled

Disclaimer: Vampire Knight and its vampires ain't mine. But vampires are a generic, legendary figure, so I CAN and DO own other vampires. Gnarharhar.

**Untitled**

Clouds had blown in from the north, covering the sun and turning the already white room into a grey hell. He lay on his back in bed, watching Yuuki sleep fitfully five feet to his right. The medicine that had lowered her blood pressure had put her to sleep, yet the pain followed her into her dreams; dried tears stained her face, and every once in a while fresh ones slipped between her woven eyelashes as she turned fretfully. Zero cursed the day's events for stalking her into the one place she had any hope of finding peace.

The conversation with Mizuno-sensei that had followed the blood pressure scare played flatly through his mind over and over, the words slowed by the warping of his memory.

"_He was just too weak. His body wouldn't stay warm, we had him in an incubator but…" A long sigh. A miserable shaking of the head. "It was like he was born three months early. He was so severely underdeveloped…your girlfriend could never have possibly fed enough to carry both babies healthily. You're lucky so much of what she had went to your daughter…otherwise, you probably would have lost them both. This is why vampire twins are so incredibly rare. Most women miscarry within the first three months."_

As if that was any comfort to him at all…

--

"—ero?"

What?

"Zero?"

His mind shifted slowly, coming gently to rest on the sound of his name. Who was calling him? He peered through the blackness, but saw nothing. The perpetrator had to call him one more time before he fully came to.

"Zero, please wake up."

He opened his eyes. He was lying on his back in his new bed next to Yuuki, his right hand draped over the edge. Her heart monitor _beeped _rhythmically a few inches from his head; he'd been taken off his when he'd left the ICU.

What on Earth? How could he have possibly fallen asleep when his baby had just died?

Yuuki gazed at him from her bed a couple of meters away, reaching a delicate hand into the void. He stretched as far as he could in response, and the tips touched.

"What is it, sweetie?" he whispered, surprising even himself. He could only remember addressing her with an endearment once, and that was to try to convey his love when he was too much of a coward to say it. He had no idea where this one had come from—he wasn't a love-name type—but the small flicker in Yuuki's eyes told him how much she'd appreciated it.

She wiped away a tear. "I want to see our little boy."

Zero froze for a moment, staring into her deep irises so desperate with longing. Was she ready for this? Was it possible for her delicate spirit to ever be ready for something this wretched? He squeezed his eyes shut, then turned over slowly and hit the call button. He got out of bed and took her hand in his, climbed back into the small twin-sized bed with her and held her again while they waited for the nurse.

She was so light now. Like a feather, compared to what he was used to.

The nurse from earlier came through the door. "What is it, Kiryuu-san?"

"I want to see my boy," Yuuki demanded before Zero even had a chance to open his mouth.

The nurse nodded. "Okay. But first, Kiryuu-san, let's get you into this chair or something. Trying to fit into that tiny bed puts undue stress on both your bodies."

Zero grumbled but complied as the nurse pushed the blue plastic chair over to him. "I'll get your child," she said solemnly, and marched out. Silence blanketed the room for about two minutes, its pressure almost painful in Zero's ear canals. Yuuki barely noticed. Horrific images of what her baby had gone through washed through her mind as turbulent waves crash against a cliff side, and she began to weep again. He moved to sit on the side of her bed, grabbed her hands in his, and lay his head on her chest, his ear between her breasts the way she liked it.

"I'm s-scared," she said. "God, Zero, I'm so scared—!"

He reached up and gently stroked the crown of her head. He had no idea what to say to comfort her. "I'm scared too," would make her feel even more vulnerable. "It'll be okay," was out of the question.

"Did you…did you name him?" he finally stuttered out, lifting his head from her bosom.

Yuuki nodded, but when she opened her mouth to tell them his name, wails blocked her voice and she crumbled into the bed. So Zero leaned over to look at her identification bracelet.

_Kuran Yuuki/Kiryuu Juuri/Kiryuu Ichiru. _

There was no time to get to the bathroom. Zero thrust away from her bed and vomited onto the white tile floor.

--

When the nurse returned with the baby, Zero was drifting in and out of that hateful world of half-conscious dread, his face in one hand and his other over Yuuki's belly, where their babies had peacefully slept not a day before. He sat up abruptly as she came in.

"Here's your son, Kiryuu-san," she said softly, cradling the baby blue blanket that, unlike the pink one that twitched so sweetly with their daughter's movements, lay heartwrenchingly still. "Oh, dear." She'd seen the sick on the floor. "What happened?"

"I'm okay," Zero protested again, reaching out for his son. "Honest."

"Let me check you over real fast." She handed the baby to Yuuki , who squeezed her eyes shut and waited while the nurse checked Zero's blood pressure, temperature, pulse. The body of Yuuki's boy weighed heavily in her tired arms. _This isn't happening. This isn't real. Please, God, this isn't real._

"I'll have to clean this up, but I won't disturb you after that." The nurse replaced the stethoscope around her neck and hurried out. Zero sat on the bed with Yuuki, and the minute he closed his arms around her she fell against his shoulder and hid her face.

"Oh, Go-od," she moaned, clutching the baby to her like her grasp could keep his little soul from escaping the body. "Please bring him back to me. Please please please please please…"

Zero slipped the blanket back and shivered when he saw the tiny white face, reached out and touched his son's icy walnut-sized hand. His hair was curly and brown, a lighter version of Juuri's, and when Zero gently lifted an eyelid, a dark lavender iris stared lifelessly back at him. He shuddered again and slumped over, clutching his loves gently to his chest.

"My baby…" Yuuki sobbed. "My poor little baby…"

Yuuki moved her head onto Zero's shoulder, and he leaned his head atop hers. They had no idea how much time passed—as far as they were concerned, it no longer existed.

--

A good forty-five minutes were gone before they were able to part with him, to let the doctor take him from their arms and give him back to the earth, where he now belonged.

"I'm so sorry," Mizuno-sensei whispered as she took him back. "I know it is no comfort, but remember you are hardly alone in this. Most women lose their first baby in some way or another. The best thing to do now is to treat your daughter as the miracle as she is…and never forget how lucky you are to have her."

--

One more chapter! I really am terribly sorry about the unexpected hiatus. Writer's block+senior art projects+finals=not good. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry


	24. Precious

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight.

**Precious**

Staring out her bedroom window at the beauty of the sunset, the reds and pinks and golds washed across the sky as though spilled from a paint bucket, Yuuki would remember little of the five days of her hospital stay. Sometimes in her sleep she'd thrash and cry out as images were dragged up from the recesses of her mind—an imploding sensation in her gut; the image of a baby boy, naked, shivering, gasping for breath, a network of blue veins pulsing beneath transparent skin. Then the images would slyly slip back into her subconscious, and she would wake up screaming, unable to tell a terrified Zero anything more than "another nightmare…about…him."

The event that stood out to her the most was not being shot or nearly losing Zero—she was told many times about that, from Kaien, Zero, Kaname, even once Yagari Toga and the red-eyed stranger who had visited them so many months before—but it was as though her mind was playing tricks on her, trying to block the trauma from her thoughts. She did not clearly remember giving birth to her babies—it was all a blur of white; fuzzy figures rushing, machines beeping, all permeated by the dreadful cramps seizing her lower belly. And, with all the medicine the hospital personnel had given her—the epidural, the depressants, the sleeping solution, coupled with her weak, exhausted state, she barely even remembered learning her child was dead.

She vaguely remembered holding her son; not her daughter, but her son; holding his tiny figure and screaming to God to give her a miracle. Every day after her homecoming, she'd forget his tiny face a little more; his features would become more and more vague, and he began to slip away, into the vast melting pot of her distant memories. And every day, she hated herself more for it. For breathing the breath he'd never have. For not being there for him in the few hours he needed her most. For letting him go, even if she wasn't trying.

What Yuuki remembered most clearly of the whole hellish ordeal was the train ride home, how she'd stared, stupefied, at the dirtied back of her father's seat in front of her, held her little girl in her arms, bouncing her every once in a while and laying kisses on her cute little nose. How she'd fallen asleep against Zero's shoulder, and how, when she'd woken, he'd made his promise, stroking and kissing her hair:

"Don't worry, my love. You will have a son. One day, one day soon, I will give him to you, and he will be healthy, and beautiful, and he will be ours, our little boy. You hold me to that. I will give you a son."

Juuri had sneezed then, and Yuuki had been so inundated with that inexplicable motherly love that she'd hugged her baby against her chest as tightly as she dared, and for a brief moment nothing had seemed to matter but the wonderful family surrounding her on all sides on that train.

Ichiru. She had named Juuri's brother Ichiru. Not because his fate seemed similar to that of his late uncle—no, never—but because she had truly believed, deep in her heart, that he would survive. That he would make it. She truly believed that he was strong enough, and naming him after Zero's twin had given her even more hope.

Now, two and a half years later, the meaning of the word _hope_ was just beginning to crawl back to her mind.

"'_tousa!_" Juuri squealed from the living room, and her squeaky-toy laugh floated through the apartment and padded Yuuki's ears. The corners of her mouth turned up and as she stood a movement in the lower right of the window caught her eye—a taxi pulling up. Kaname was here. She turned, her eyes resting for a brief moment on her thesis before Juuri's laugh echoed into the room again and she left the bedroom and trundled down the short hall.

Juuri was sitting on the floor of the living room, blocks spread out in the V her legs made, going off in different directions to support her fat little two-year-old body. Zero was lying on his elbow a few feet away, encouraging her to stack the blocks in different creative patterns.

"'_Kaasa_!" Juuri cried when Yuuki entered the room, and clumsily pulled herself to her feet and, dragging her MiMi doll behind her, ran up to Yuuki as quickly as her chubby little legs could carry her. She stopped at her mother's feet and held her arms above her head. "_'Kaasa! 'Kaasa! 'Kaasa!_"

"Could you go down and let them in?" Yuuki asked Zero, bending down to pull her daughter into her arms. "Hi there, my sweet love," she crooned, and kissed her baby on the cheek.

"'_kaasa, _pawk?" Juuri asked, pushing back from Yuuki's shoulder as Zero disappeared through the front door.

"Of course, beautiful," Yuuki said. "Uncle Kaname is taking you, remember? _Okaasan_ and _otousan _have work to do."

Juuri pouted. "He's not here yet."

"Actually, precious, they just got here, just now. _Otousan _went down to let them in."

Juuri's small face lit up. "Really?"

Zero stood with a grunt. "Here," he said, taking his daughter from Yuuki so she could greet her brother. Juuri laughed and yanked his hair.

"Hey! OW!"

"'Tousa!" she shrieked, and buried her face in his shoulder.

"I hope you're still up to taking her to the park," Yuuki said, a small smirk playing on her face. Kaname smiled wearily and hugged his sister tightly. "No problem," he said.

"Pawk! Pawk! Pawk!" Juuri jumped up and down in Zero's arms.

"Looks like it better be soon, too," Kaname added.

"Don't you want to rest a minute?" Kaien said, glancing at Kaname in mild confusion.

"I don't think she can make it."

"You sure?" Yuuki asked.

"Would you like to come?"

"Oh, no thanks. You go ahead."

"Come on, sweetie." Zero took Juuri to the entrance. "Let's get your coat on."

"I'll go along," Kaien told Kaname as Zero handed Juuri off to her uncle after a few minutes of basic coat-wrestling.

"Have fun," Zero called, closing the front door behind them. When he turned around, Yuuki had already disappeared.

He found her behind the building, sitting among the bright tulips the complex had planted along the walkway. Clutching her knees to her chest with one arm, she toyed with the loose soil with her free hand. He sat gently next to her and put his arms around her shoulders.

"Yuuki?"

She threw the soil down and scooped up a bigger handful. He reached for her palm and tenderly brushed it free of soil, which had collected in thick black lines under her fingernails. "What's wrong, baby?"

She sighed heavily. "I had to drop my English class today. Now I won't be able to graduate for another semester. _Another _one. It's like I'm not going to be finished until I'm forty."

"That's not true. You've already done 45 credit hours—you'll probably only have to take one extra year."

"Oh, great. Only _one._"

"Hey now. I'm taking two."

"You're doing a double-major."

"Yuuki, come on. Isn't it worth it, to have her?"

Yuuki smiled slowly, Juuri's sweet little face floating to the front of her mind. "It's just…it's just…"

"What?"

"My academic advisor…made it pretty clear how she felt about my dropping English. I'm just so sick of all the pressure, Zero. To do more, be more, become more. And if anyone find out I have a child, it's like suddenly I'm some kind of whore, and…"

Zero kissed her cheek. "You're no more a whore than I am." _Gotcha, _he thought when she laughed.

"I just…I just want to be her mother, you know? Nothing else. I don't want to have a million degrees or a high-profile career or a big house. I just want to be able to make enough for my family, and spend my life being with them." She sighed and looked into his eyes. "I'm never as happy as when I'm with Juuri, or you. And I'd rather be that stupid housewife and raise our children than devote all my time to some huge job. Is that such a crime?"

Zero echoed her sigh and hugged her tight to his chest. "Of course not, Yuuki. Of _course _not."

Now she did smile, really smiled, and locked her arms around his neck, and he cradled her tiny frame in his arms and carried her back to the house.

--

---

----

Sorry about the time it took to put this up, I started art school and it has, of course, completely consumed my life. Also if there are errors in this I apologize for that too, I have neither the time nor the drive right now to fix it. Maybe later.


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